Oneistoo

NOPE from here, too!

Big congratulations, RunFree! I don't know you that well yet, but I know I like you! :)

I'm so proud of you, Evelyn!!!! Way to go!!!! You didn't cave. And that's such a great list, I'm glad you posted it here. My own mind tracks through that logic in the same way when I have serious cravings. But ultimately, if we have a problem, no matter what and including stress, if we smoke we now have two problems. You're still early in your quit. I can't speak for you, but I instinctively know about myself that the first several years quit are going to be tricky until I become much more solid as someone who doesn't smoke. There will be times when you crave, when you have to wait out the craving without smoking. And each time you do, you grow a little more as a person. Instead of each time when you smoked, how you lost a little more respect for yourself. I love your line, "Bad mood I blow you away." It's great poetry. And that you have guinea pigs! I found an abandoned guinea pig at the beach and took care of it until it died. They are very good beings, they are very special and also very friendly. My GP's name was Annie, short for Little Animal, which I called her at first (I had two big Labradors at the same time, that's why she was "little animal"). Anyway, Quit Sis, you don't smoke. For some really absurd reason there are still cigarettes in this world, but we just ignore them....because cigarettes don't really belong in a good world.

I think my sense of time is being affected by my quit. Did any of you experience this in the beginning of your quit?

I've always loved old Hollywood movies, and I think it actually helps my quit to watch the actors smoke so much in those movies. There's a psychological word for that, I think, but I don't know it. Perhaps it's another form of smoking-disassociation....by repeatedly watching other people do it without doing it myself, I build up mental indifference. In this way smoking kind of is in my life just like the odd thoughts about smoking are, but I don't react to either of them. Here's my Youtube video playlist with old Hollywood movies. My cut-off has moved up to 1940. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_UJI0LI4NiZWwgxaRUbsFkyEWQCCJI48

It's much better than a blog, IMHO. The way the blogs are set up in the different forum software is not very dynamic for an interactive journal. It would be good if there was an entire section at Quit Train devoted to journals, because it is great help for newbies and also to stay quit. On my other forum hang-out the diary/journal section is the most popular, and there are more than 2,600 journals. It's fine about the job situation. I just graduated, so it is to be expected. :) Your smarty pants.... based on your comment, I don't think you can see on your computer screen the same thing that the rest of us can see on our screens. A couple of days ago your smarty pants image changed in size to huge. :) That's why you're getting the comments, lol.

Sun salutations can be extremely challenging as a smoker, haha! I think it's the flow-movement between extreme opening and closing of the lungs. Many times I would have to pause at SS #6 before I could go on. It's just such an awesome stretch and strength exercise. :)

The smoke-disassociation continues. I got up after sleeping for only five or so hours, and finished my job application. So, in this case, I was both tired and confronting a difficult project (job applications always have some emotional involvement), which is prime fodder for my addiction triggers. And yes, the thought struck me that I could buy and smoke a pack of cigarettes. But as Joel says and I have also experienced myself, the cigarette is a fantasy-cigarette. What I want to get out of that cigarette does not exist. It's just like heroin junkies who forever are chasing the sublime experience they had during their first shoot-up, without ever getting it. And when I already know the downside to that cigarette, it just isn't possible to smoke. In my mind, it becomes distasteful. The question is then what to do with the gap that opens up where the cigarettes would have been. I'm unfamiliar with what happens when the cigarette is gone in situations. Since I stopped smoking, I've been filling out the gap with foodstuff. Now that that bridge is no longer so dearly needed, I want to see what naturally emerges.

NOPE!

Oho....another big smoke-disassociation today! I'm putting the finishing touches on the cover letter for a job application that's due tomorrow. Suddenly the tone and manner of my letter seemed all wrong. This is another situation where previously I would immediately march down to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes and then smoke them non-stop as I solved the problem. I actually thought about it for a while...but not with the same urgency I would think about it before. That's probably because I no longer have nicotine in my body. I thought about the saying, "If you smoke because you have a problem you now have two problems" and I just couldn't stand the thought of all the hassle that accompanies smoking a friggin pack of cigarettes just because it's a little tricky going for a while. You know what Miss Goodie-Two-Shoes here did? She worked on the document for a while, then put it away to be looked at with fresh eyes very early tomorrow, and then she went to the gym for a run! Now, isn't that a healthy response? It's so healthy that I don't even recognize myself in it. Another thing I don't recognize is my smoke-quit weight. Tomorrow starts my sugar detox. No more sweets! I'm really proud of myself and feel good. If I had smoked, I would have felt awful. Plus, I would have smelled. :)

I think my chronic sore throat is getting better. It always seemed to kind of go away in the summer, but during winter it was non-stop. That being said, last night I ran at the gym and at a higher speed than usual. Afterward, I coughed, and stuff at deeper levels of my lungs must have loosened. Do you want me to talk about phlegm as well? JUST KIDDING!!!!

3-5 cigarettes would barely get me warmed up! I'd definitely smoke a pack straight, and perhaps two, and then if I could, I'd quit again. I had no idea that doing it this way kept me in a miserable state of strong withdrawal most of the time. Yes, it made me feel awful, both physically and mentally.

I'm feeling fine! Just working on disassiociating just about everything in my life from smoking. Today I smoke-disassociated from a situation of traveling for an hour on public transportation to a foreign location in the suburbs (I'm not good at suburbs, to me they are an identical nightmare), including getting lost (a habit of mine in the suburbs) only to find out that my appointment HAD BEEN CANCELLED. Then I had to go all the way back home, and I have to duplicate the effort on Wednesday to get what I originally went out there today to get! I didn't feel like smoking, and when a thought about smoking came into my mind it was more like a reflex and not like a real consideration. The "I'll lose it all and have to start over again" consequence of picking up a pack is a good deterrent. HOWEVER, I'm not ready to treat myself. When I finish the last bar of chocolate sometime today I'll go on a three-day detox from sugar. After that, I'll think of something.... :)

I remember a yoga teacher I had many years ago who kept admonishing the class: If you can't do yoga every day, at a very minimum you MUST do eight sun salutations! I personally only do them as stand alones, but i do them because they make me limber and strong at the same time. If I haven't done them for a week or so, I start having back problems when I do everyday stuff. https://www.google.dk/search?q=sun+salutation+photo&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=bxS9VNeEM4rfOOyrgJgD&ved=0CB8QsAQ

NOPE!

I'm thrilled! So it is true, I WAS in a fog (still am). I would be doing tons of brain games, trying to get rid of it. I felt it clouding my judgment, like I could never think straight. Thanks for telling me this. And yes, I'll be chronicling it here when I get to it. :)

Marti, is it my imagination or did your smarty pants get vastly larger since I joined this board? I'm not kidding.....lol. Today, I'm struck by some mental stuff that earlier also could sabotage my quits. It's the coulda, woulda, shoulda that they also talk about in the Anonymous groups....utterly useless, but for me it's especially painful when it concerns those I love. They were errors in my judgment that I now deeply regret. I was simply too dizzy to think straight (a side-effect of my constant smoking/withdrawal mindspace?). Since there's absolutely nothing I can do to remedy my past errors of judgment (the loved ones in this situation have since passed on), the "test" in this case is to be able to go through the feelings without relapsing. If there's ONE big reason for me wanting to quit (besides the usual ones), it's to finally find out whether the fog in my brain is caused by smoking. I suspect it'll take more than a year without smoking before I will know this. And perhaps longer to know it for sure.

Coincidentally, I did this last night. I sat with a straight back and started breathing slowly and deeply. It's a totally new experience, meaning, it feels distinctly different than it did before. I wish I had thought to put into words what it felt like before so I can better compare it and share it. The best word for how it feels now is "normal." And who knows, perhaps in a while I'll experience breathing that is way more normal than what I experience now. :)

NOPE

Day 3 on my previous quits (before I knew about the 72-hour stuff) was very often the day I relapsed. Imagine, so close! Anyway, I'm sure you know that life won't magically become a bed of roses at 72 hours. That's just when the physical cravings subside because there is no more nicotine in your body. Then you have to relearn how to live life without nicotine. There are tons of triggers in your everyday life, and the only way to get rid of them is to repeatedly go through every single experience, only this time without nicotine.That includes the seasonal changes, and major life events. Trip on one of those, and if you don't right yourself immediately and do a 72-hour detox, you might not get another chance for a very long time. I can see now that it took me nine years from when I relapsed from a one-year quit to where I am now.....and during those nine years I've almost constantly tried to stop smoking. Nine years, where I regretted smoking every single day, and that had some pretty hefty consequences in many different ways. You may already know all this kind of stuff, but I know that it's always better if you hear it coming from as many different places as possible. :)

Welcome, Rob, to a great forum. :) That sounds almost exactly like my day yesterday! I very nearly caved. But today I ran and lifted weights at the gym and for hours afterward I felt like I was in heaven. I still feel good from it,more than six hours later. I'm definitely going again tomorrow. I feel as if I'm feeding my body something it's craving, something healthy. Do like Joel says....don't take another puff, and you'll never have to go through a day like that again. Welcome, again. :)

It's only the first 72 hours, then it diminishes a lot. I used nicotine replacement at first (not a smart idea; it prolongs withdrawal), and now I'm almost done with my 72 hours. Sip juice throughout the day, it will help with the cravings. For me, the most powerful craving-queller is the information I get from Joel's videos. It puts a big pause between the thought of going to the store and actually doing it. A pause, where the stuff Joel talks about flashes into my mind. Before I started this quit, I'd go on auto pilot....afterward, I barely remembered getting the cigarettes. Hey, you're into your third day (unless you've been puffing, then the 72 hours unfortunately start over like a bad dream)! If this is your third day, it'll become much easier very soon.

Just dropping this off here, perhaps it will help. JUNKIE THINKING HOW TO COUNTER BAD THOUGHTS! ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "One Puff won't hurt" RESPONSE: "One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social smoker. One puff and I'll be smoking compulsively again." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I only want one." RESPONSE: "I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day every day. I want them all!" ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just be a social smoker." RESPONSE: "I'm a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one I'll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or leave it. That's not me." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now." RESPONSE: "The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore. I'll be smoking again." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just stop again." RESPONSE: "Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?" ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "If I slip, I'll keep trying." RESPONSE: "If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now I'll think I can get away with another little "slip" later on." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I need one to get me through this withdrawal." RESPONSE: "Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. It will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I miss smoking right now." RESPONSE: "Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the chest pain right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment, the shame? I'd rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing it." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I really need to smoke now, I'm so upset." RESPONSE: "Smoking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset - I'll just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not smoking." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "I don't care." RESPONSE: "What is it exactly that I think that I don't care about? Can I truthfully say I don't care about chest pain? I don't care about coughing and gagging in the morning? I don't care about lung cancer? No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped smoking in the first place." ________________________________________ JUNKIE THINKING: "What difference does it make, anyway?" RESPONSE: "It makes a difference in the way I breathe, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health." Author Unknown

I'm missing a sometimes option. I sometimes wear a nice watch.

Congratulations! :) You're way ahead of me.....imagine, if you keep it up, you'll ALWAYS be ahead of me. Isn't that a cool thought? :)