Runfree

Thank you. Sums it up. OK, back to regularly scheduled bus banter.....

Thanks Joe and All.... I have no intention of tossing my quit. It's more about humming along being fat dumb and happy, having a tough moment now and then but certainly in it to win it, and then BAM....sh*t starts happening around me, I turn a few corners and warning bells n strobe lights start going off. ACK! and WTF! all in short order. Guess I'm just feeling like my zen and focus is getting bombarded. Probably a better laid plan is to swing in for the daily NOPE but be selective on what I read and say. Stay close to MDQ's info and leave the rest to the experts. Right? Just protecting it more than anything. THAT's what I meant. Appreciate your wisdom....always.

Seriously! Gotta admit, I'm feeling vulnerable today. So many newbie compadres are jumping off, trying to climb back on, the more I read the more I'm learning month 3 is a white knuckle experience....feeling like a lamb heading to slaughter. Don't like it. Makes me crabby. Feelin like checkin out until month 4.

Good!! Yay!! So happy to hear they're easing a wee bit.

-20 and THAT's how ya do it boys ;)

-18 I only have a few minutes..let's get this done Batgirl

NOPE

Congrats Kristin!!!! ^^^^^^hmm, fair warning....eegad

Happy Birthday!

Fantastic. Those are some genuine smiles. Mustang gets a win.

NOPE

They canceled the sledding party, not enough snow, :( so, I'm here, not there.

Bakon found his parts. Bandit has brought in Legal Counsel. Colleen was and still is one of the cool kids.

Yea, I'm kind of feeling this too. Gosh Laura, i hope it helps to know we really want to you to find the strength and get through this first phase. You said you've read Carr to the point of it becoming less effective. Can you try this?... Change the focus to.... Why do you want to be a non-smoker? What were those reasons and did they really mean anything? Get hardcore honest about it, get them clearly defined so you KNOW, boom...that's why, and then elevate their priority. This is what will fuel your will/desire which in turn will trump the junkie talk. Stifle that junkie shit with solid ammunition! I have a bunch of reasons why, but there are only a couple that are gut level home truths and those are the ones I thought about as I was curled in a ball sobbing those first few days.

-12

-10

Hi Leila... Thinking of you and your weekend alone.

One of the most significant milestones in your lifetime....Congratulations Lace. I hope you have something wonderful lined up to give yourself to commemorate this day.

Oh good! Gah, sometime I get lost in my own head so I'm glad it translated. We're building new muscle, learning a new way of living. I'm so grateful for the scholars who came before me to help guide the way. Now it's just a matter of learning it!

-6

Glad to see you made it through Jackie. After a couple months into this and often managing it with a death grip, I think some of the info I've been devouring is starting to shake to the top and make sense (maybe). I read something a couple days ago about our perceptions on the benefits of a cig. This is aside or different from our desire or will or hope to remain a non-smoker; we already have that desire or we wouldn't be here. Basically, it stated that the truly successful folks fully understand and 100% embrace the belief that cigarettes offer ZERO benefit...none. Anyway, I've been chewing on this since I read it. It makes sense to me that if ZERO benefit was my authentic, immediate response to a trigger, then there wouldn't be the ongoing bargaining or escalating struggles. Somewhere in me I must still believe in a benefit, even tho I have will and desire. "ZERO" is definitely something I am working to understand and secure. I don't know if this made a lick of sense but I thought I'd put it out there anyway. Again, I'm glad you made it through the wave.

<thinking mrs b hid it behind the dresser> I once knew a man who played semi-pro rugby in Oz....one of the toughest men I've ever met and could put away the scotch too!

Happy Birthday Jenny! It's the weekend too! Have a great day...go buy yourself something fabulous and celebrate YOU :)

YAY!! Rooster, so so awesome for you to have your two months. This one gave me the sense of "ok, i'm in and doing it...keep going". How about you? Very cool. Congrats.

Bummer! But yea, pretending is not a healthy way to continue. Admitting and sharing it may just help someone else too, ya know? Get back on the train..there's always room.