Yoshimi

Thanks for the warm welcome! I would not know as much as I do if it were not for reading many wonderful posts/threads over the past few weeks. With this forum's help I am confident that I can remain free of nicotine. Hopefully I can contribute to the forum and help others in the future too.

Hi all, Just thought I would introduce myself to the forum. I have been quit since 11/7/14. Almost 2 months now and I feel great! I tried my first cigarette right before my 18th birthday. I became a regular every day smoker by the time I was 19. I averaged around 5 to 10 cigs a day. Then, I "quit" at 24. However, this was only for a couple months. Even during these months I chewed the gum and even tried an e cig for a while. I now realize this was not a real quit. I still wanted to smoke, which is why I had the e cig. Eventually, I gave in to smoking the occasional cigar. I mean hey, what’s a puff with a nice stout brew? And I mean, cigars are different than cigarettes, right? I don't need to smoke a cigar every hour, right? Wrong. I told myself stuff like this often. I started smoking a cigar every day, even without the beer. I then even started smoking cigarettes whenever around friends. I mean, I wasn't buying them, so I was not a “real smoker,” whatever that means. This is what I would tell myself. After Halloween this year, I got very sick with one of the worst colds I can remember. I had gunk all in my chest, throat, and nose and could not breathe without hacking up a lung. I was feeling so bad I didn't smoke. Not a cigarette, cigar, e cig, or anything. I used this as a launch pad for my quit. Haven't had any nicotine whatsoever starting 11/7/14. Getting sick was one of the best things to happen to me this year. I guess what I am trying to express, is that for me it was not even specifically cigarettes. It was nicotine. It can sneak up on you in many forms. Going cold turkey has proved to be the best method for me by far. It is like ripping a band aid right off. This site has helped me a lot. I have read through so many good threads here that have helped solidify my decision to not smoke. For instance, now I know there is no such thing as "just one smoke.” I have learned about romancing smoking, which I did frequently during my last “quit.” I have learned about how what I am suffering from is an addiction, plain and simple. I used to not think of it as seriously. I now know I am an addict, and I can never touch the stuff (nicotine) again. I have learned and realized that I am losing nothing. My anxiety has actually been reduced since I have ceased to use nicotine. I don't have to worry about when the next opportunity to feed my addiction will occur. It is very liberating. Learning about the nature of nicotine and how you put yourself in a perpetual state of withdrawal put it into perspective for me. I realize that my nicotine monster will never be satiated, so there is literally no point in smoking. After one smoke I will want another, then another, then another, etc. It would be like continually eating a food that just makes you hungry. It doesn’t make any sense. Thanks to everyone here. I seriously learned most of this stuff from reading this forum. I usually lurk, but I thought I would pop in to express my gratitude and share my experience. Being a nonsmoker is wonderful, and is actually pretty easy when you educate yourself about nicotine addiction. I have the occasional urge now, but it is fleeting and easy to ignore. I will not let the nicotine monster defeat me! I am now 26, and looking forward to living a longer smoke free life.