Aine

Excellent movie. Create an veehd account. Login. Won't need to download anything. Huge selection of movies at veehd. Most are high quality. http://veehd.com/video/4527368_TwilightSamurai-2002-Japanese-EngSubs-avi

Cause I'm hooked on the television series I thought I'd begin reading the books. Not sure yet. Seem to be romances, which I generally run from. Not bad. http://www.amazon.com/Outlander-Diana-Gabaldon/dp/0440212561

Just for today, no smoking!

Don't know why, or if there is even a reason; just know that, while months 4 and 5 weren't bad at all, this month just sucks as far as wanting to smoke. I've been watching Joel's videos, reminding myself as to the reality rather than the delusion of my reasons, but I'm still craving maybe 15 or so times a day for the last 3 weeks or so. Just wanted to write it because down deep I don't want to be a smoker. Or, rather, I do but without any repercussions. Thus, the brain wars! My head is still trying, in spite of all evidence, to create a scenario that just doesn't exist. Will be glad when it just SHUTS UP.

Netflix is 9 dollars a month unlimited online viewing of all their offerings. I never have any problems viewing. We cancelled cable years ago. Lots of money for 16 Chanel's of. . . well, Pink Floyd fans will understand. Lol!

Ah. Damn. Yeah.

My sister came down this weekend. We have a "24 hour" rule. We can love each other that long, and then one of us has to go. After the 24 hours, we just don't like each other much anymore. We went and got a pedicure together, my first. Had a great time with her. Then she took a picture of our sparkly toes (mine were sparklier!) That parenthetical gives a clue to part of our sisterly issues. lol! Family; go figure. Glad it went as well as it could for you and your mom is hanging in there, Chrys.

You're not alone! 6 months here, and this month has been tougher than months 4 and 5 for some reason. Hubby in with heart attack, move from farm to town, etc. so I've chalked it up to changes and stress, but whatever the reason, it sucks. I want to be someone with no cravings and no memories of "good" smokes. Having said that. . . Cardiologist said husband's 2 heart attacks this month was the direct result of his smoking for 40 years. One stint later, and me (reluctantly) learning how to cook non wheat non sugar, husband's doing great. My intermittent craving for a cigarette seems to have diminished for the moment, anyway!! At first, I gave it a month; if I am still wanting a cigarette then, I'm so out of here. Then, it was 3 months. Wasn't fair to give it a shorter time given I was a heavy smoker for 40 years. Then, I upped it to 6 months, after reading about the physical effects of nicotine on the body. Now, I've decided to be a non smoker. Let's face it; I'm not wanting to smoke just one; neither are you. And we know what happens if we smoke. So, I tell my head to shut the **** up when it starts lying to me again about how good it will taste, how I could just smoke every now and then, etc. Because it is a lie, you know. And who the heck wants to walk around all the time constantly craving something they can't have as much as they want? (ok, maybe that doesn't make sense to anyone but me!) Hang tough, Holski. It passes.

Bacon, then?

I'm a fan of Iles, too.

Rereading Pearl Buck's Pavilion of Women. Forgot what a good writer she was.

Relapse is a choice that comes after neglecting to do what I have been taught to do in order to keep my "quit." Frankly, I did not expect quite this much difficulty for this length of time, primarily due to having minimized the role of nicotine in my life. However, nicotine has been a part of Everything I have done for 40 years, and the addictive nature of nicotine I dramatically underestimated. However, If I stay educated and alert to the addiction of nicotine, then I can stay, just for today, clean off nicotine. My take on it is, as long as I never forget that it is impossible to smoke just one--for me, to smoke one means I will be smoking the three packs a day again until I die or I quit again (and who wants to do either of those things!!!!), then I will not smoke. I think it's bullshit to have an "emergency stash"; I am not talking about Chantix here, by the way, but a nicotine product of any kind. I agree with Joel, that there is no excuse for relapse; if I relapse, it is not because I am more emotionally sensitive or weaker than the next or that nicotine is SUCH a powerful drug, it is because I have let the denial/illusion creep back in again that I can smoke just one. I have six months clean off of nicotine; I don't need to see success/fail rates for this forum.Whatever the numbers, I would only twist the info in order to talk myself into smoking the next time I have a desire to smoke. lol! So, I try to be honest when I have a desire to smoke I try to REALLY look at what smoking just that one will lead to I remember that a craving only lasts a couple of minutes And I come here so that we can keep reminding each other of all this. . . FYI; I didn't want to smoke last week while waiting to see how hubby was doing after the heart attack; I wanted to smoke when leaving the hospital, walking out to the parking lot. Damn triggers. That desire was greatly minimized by seeing a woman pushing an IV pole, gown flapping, over to a van to get a puff off of her friend who was smoking and sitting in the van. I have no idea what the woman was in the hospital for, but I could sure relate at the moment. And, I didn't want that woman to be me some day.

AND TO YOU! WE DID IT!!!

At this point, it's going to be some reeeaaally low key celebrations!

Why are there pink flamingos behind you? Just , you know, curious. . . Thanks, Action!

Sparkles AND Jiminy--well done! Because you know what a hot damn sparkly person I am!

6 months clean off nicotine tomorrow. And, a live husband. Life IS a peach. Thanks all of you for being here. The support made it possible.

Good to hear from you, Lady bug! Hope you post more, and I don't know why it would ever be a bad thing to tell people who want to stop smoking to come here or any other forum that could be helpful. I tell people who express a desire to stop smoking how I did it. That is all one can do, really. Attraction rather than promotion. . .

It is not weakness. It is addiction. Nature of the beast, I'm afraid. Killable, however!

Day 3 does seem to be pretty rough for most of us. It was terrible for me. Better after that until day 7, then a couple of pretty good weeks until a few bad hours around week 3. Hang in. It can be done and you can do it. Big tobacco loves to spread the lie that relapse is almost a foregone conclusion. They lie, too

children: number one reason for me. No matter what I tell myself when I want the relief of a drag for a momentary buzz, it is the heights of self absorption to believe I am not actively abusing my 13 year old son. Reality: I don't want to smoke a cigarette. I want to smoke MANY cigarettes. Quickly and frequently until I die. Which, given my 3 pack a day habit, probably was not as far in the future as I had hoped. Don't lie to yourself, get past the momentary ( minutes or days) discomfort. Believe all of us when we say it gets better. Not quickly or overnight for many of us, but each day is easier and more comfortable than the previous one. Your body says you HAVE to. It lies.

Congrats Julie !

You have had a little time. Do it now. It will be no different tomorrow, next month, or in 20 years. Except your lungs. They might be different.

There is quit, and then there is smoking. Cutting down? Sounds like kinda pregnant. . .lol! You can quit now, Amy. Toss the paraphernalia, and stay close to the forum. Get the healthy snacks ready and the licorice. I'm 5 months a non smoker now; 3-4 packs a day for 40 years and I was pretty convinced I was not able to quit. I have 2-3 craves a day right now, which is a bit unusual, but I'm in the middle of moving to a new place and my husband and I are pretty busy trying to get settled, so I'm blaming it on stress right now. The craves are seconds long, then the rest of the day I don't think about smoking much. Overall, life is better than I expected, but then, it usually is. :lol2: All of that was basically, "if I can do it, then you can, too." Or, just pop in and chat with us! I like seeing your pretty smiling face!

so, will you be moving the dirt back today?