Aine

Not today!

Not today!

Tick tock 3 years! Couldn't have done it without this board, all of you, and Joel's videos. And, of course, not smoking, no matter what. Took a bit of time(not discussing that) to lose the 20 pounds I ate after quitting but I'm back to pre smoking weight and a few less pounds even. Saying this because maybe I'm not the only shallow person hanging onto this particular excuse to not quit smoking. This year I seldom think about smoking. No real cravings, just a quick thought occasionally, but keeping the reality in my head ( constant bronchitis, insomnia, jittery, incapable of any social occasion that did not allow smoking, physical ailments, health hazard to my son, etc) neutralizes any real craving. Things I've gained: Trip to Ireland (money came from savings that would have gone towards cigarettes) plus, I wouldn't have been able to take a 12 hour flight since I couldn't smoke. I've been sick a couple of times with a minor cold since quitting but no p eumonia or bronchitis! My son is healthy. I walk more and much further now. No chest pains. NO MORE INSOMNIA (turns out my lifelong insomnia came from nicotine. Who knew??) Skin is much better. I can sit still for longer periods. Peace of mind Thank you, all.

Not today!

Have the nicotine patches ever worked for you in the past? I've heard they do for some, but for me, they just kept me in a permanent state of jonesing. What about withdrawing from the nicotine itself? Shorter period of suffering perhaps? Just a thought...

If I could smoke one cigarette, one pack, one carton. . .sigh. There is never "enough" for me. One leads to 4 packs a day, just like before I quit. (or worse, if that is even possible). I'm pretty sure that first hit would taste pretty good. But, by the end of the first cigarette, my mouth is filled with that burning paper taste and I quickly will get the hacking cough back. Then, I won't be able to do the things I do now. I went to Ireland in May. I never could before because of the time spent on the plane without smoking (11 hours.). And, the money for the trip came from the money I saved from not smoking. Just now, don't smoke. It adds up, and one day, you will find yourself surprised because you hadn't been thinking about smoking at all! (When that happens is different for everyone, but it DOES happen.)

Not today.

And 2 years later, Quit Train is still a lively and supportive place. Cool, huh?

What Evelyn said! And,

This is a special month for me; I celebrated 25 years clean off other substances, and in a day, I'll have 2 years off the smoke. As a 3 pack a day smoker for 40 years, I seriously had little hope I would be able to stop smoking. Fortunately, my significant other stopped smoking first, and since I didn't have a really good excuse anymore to NOT smoke (I told myself I couldn't stop if someone else was smoking in the house, even though lots of people do just that), I held my breath and went around the house and threw away all the smokes and ashtrays. I literally held my breath. I knew I had a small window of sanity before I would talk myself out of it. I was so scared. Then, I stayed really really close to the quit train forums! When I wanted to smoke, you all told me the craving would last about 3 minutes and to go walk around my office. When I wanted to smoke, you told me to look at the delusion of what I thought I would get if I smoked. It turned out that there wasn't much at all, except for illness and death. When I wanted to smoke, you said to drink lots of juices and water; that nicotine was a powerful chemical that also dehydrates the body. And, you said to send an SOS if I wanted to smoke. I did, and there were always answers. One time I had to wait at least 5 minutes! You guys rock. I don't quit anything gracefully. I've read Allan Carr, and I agree with much of what he says. Just doesn't work that way with me all the time. Joel saved my life, though. Watched so many videos those first few weeks! I found out that everyone's quit is a bit different, and what matters is that I find a way to stay quit. As long as I focus on the fact that Nicotine is an addictive drug that kills and lies to me, then today, I don't smoke. I still want to smoke occasionally. Hell, I still want to drink occasionally, too! Doesn't matter. Urges go away quickly, and I know where to go to reinforce the truth: nothing good comes from smoking. Nicotine is a powerful drug that has told me, through much of my life, that I would "feel better", look cool, calm down, perk up, you name it, I believed it. Lies. So, I'm off to Ireland in May with my sister! Tickets are bought and reservations are made at B and B's. This trip is on the bucket list, but I was never going to go because why the hell would I spend 12 hours on a flight without smoking? Torture! And, I didn't have the money. And, my sister doesn't smoke. As a result, I've never wanted to spend a whole lot of time with her! We are calling it the "sissy" trip. I have, according to my meter, saved around 4300 dollars from not smoking. I think it's more than that, but, hey, who's counting. I've got 3200 dollars saved up for the trip, and I'll have a bit more before I go. So, I'm going because I quit smoking. Cool, huh? Thanks for being here for me, all of you. You're a special bunch to have put up with me!

Not today

Definitely not today!

Feb 26

Not today!

Not today.

http://www.letmewatchthis.im/tvshows/tv/watch-2732636-Derek My son and I watched this series; out of 17 shows, we cried 14 times, and lost track of the laughs. Derek: Ricky Gervais writes, directs and stars in this one-off comedy drama about a group of people on societys margins. Derek works in a retirement home with his landlord Dougie. He adores animals, Rolf Harris and TV, but his main hobby is autograph-hunting.

Man, that Carol. That freaky smile she has playing Donna Reed. I can't wait until she pulls the mask off! I didn't care for the flashback thing, either. What's the point, eh? Didn't take away from the story too much, though. I went to a Walking Dead party. I'm so anti social and hate crap like that, but, it's the Walking Dead, you know? Pizza, watched the last show of last season to prep, and had a good time. The zombies are looking pretty poorly, poor things. Gray is the new black?

3 months and I still thought about smoking a couple of hours total every day. Real cravings, not so many. 6 months, better. like everyone says, subtle change. . .9 months. Argh. Bad. A year, I realized I wanted to stay a non smoker. Still have thoughts and an occasional crave. But, weighing that against what I felt like and what my life was like as a smoker: no comparison. Not smoking today.

Sarge pisses most of us off. Pisses me off that he's right, a lot, too. Buddhist phillosophy has some cool stuff; "loving" someone means wanting the best for them. Lying to them is not helping them reach the right path. I've got 22 years in a 12 step group; so, getting clean off of substances was and is a huge part of my life. I smoked 3 packs a day for most of 40 years, and last year I checked into this forum and these people saved my butt. I had forgotten how much I "felt" those first couple of years clean off drugs. How angry, how sad, how everything. . .same thing happened with stopping the nicotine. Taking away nicotine has been a VERY BIG DEAL. What I wanted everyone here to tell me was that it would get better, and then I wanted to know when. They all tell the first; the second part is different for everyone. I wanted to smoke yesterday. The actual craving lasted about 2 minutes. The emptiness, you know, THAT empty spot, the one I have tried to cover with every thing from booze, drugs, food, sex. . .that's what is underneath the smoke. So, my husband and I took a bike ride this evening to the park, fed the ducks, and now I'm here. Find stuff to occupy yourself and here is the recipe for Hummus (buy lots of vegetables that are fairly good and smear them heavily with hummus. Still calories, but beats donuts. Join the gym and get on that bike thing. Scream and cry; we all do that. But, it did get better, and it continues to get better. My complexion is better, I only gained 20 pounds instead of the 50 I was worried about, and my son is now almost 15 and I will probably be around much longer to be a mom to him. I don't cough anymore. At all. My sense of smell is tremendous; I couldn't smell anything before. (sometimes I am not so happy about this last one!) Hmm, what else. Money. Lots more money now. I'm going to Ireland in May from the money I would have spent on smokes, and, because if I hadn't quit smoking there was no way in hell I was going to make that flight. Seriously, just couldn't take that many hours without smoking. FYI; breaking your clean time because of a presidential candidate? Uh, maybe not a great idea.. . Just today I don't smoke. Same thing that keeps me clean keeps me clean. Go figure. The people here are great; all of them. All of us bring our own flavor to the table, but the goal is the same. No nicotine. For me, it's no nicotine in any form. I don't chew it, I don't smoke it, I don't vape it. One hit and I'm smoking again. After 9 month non smoking, I started vaping 0 mg. nicotine. I had gotten so twitchy and restless that I thought the habit would get me through a few weeks until I smoothed out some. I vaped for a few months and last month threw all that out. That wasn't my smartest decision, but, I'm still clean off nicotine. This month has been a little uneasy, probably because I delayed dealing with some of my shit, but it's getting better. I just walk and bike more. lol! Hummus: 2 cups drained well-cooked or canned chickpeas, liquid reserved 1/2 cup tahini (sesame paste), optional, with some of its oil (don't use peanut butter-not the same thing) You can leave out the tahini, though; still good. 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus oil for drizzling 2 cloves garlic, peeled, or to taste or (2 tablespoons minced garlic) Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 1 tablespoon ground cumin, plus a sprinkling of paprika for garnish if you want Juice of 1 lemon, plus more as needed (or about a tablespoon of lemon juice) Preparation 1. Put everything except the paprika in a food processor and begin to process; add the chickpea liquid or water as needed to allow the machine to produce a smooth puree. 2. Taste and adjust the seasoning (I often find I like to add much more lemon juice). Serve, drizzled with the olive oil and sprinkled with a bit more cumin or paprika.

Not today!

Not today.

Not today!

http://www.vodu.ch/file/f13cfeab148df1685f8c3e997173262b/

I've been using a vape pen for about 4 months now; 0 nicotine, but I was so damned restless in the evenings I thought I'd explode. Still no nicotine, but I've grown unhappy again with a dependency on the vaping. Not like my addiction to nicotine and cigarettes, but still. . . So, think it's time to stop this dependency, too. Guess I'll pick up some straws today. Something to chew on, or something. I tire me out. My attempt at "urban gardening" is helping some of the restlessness now, though; nice weather! It is surely not comparable to the farm, but, still. . .