sgt.barney

"Always got the cops Coming after me Custom built bike doing 1-0-3 [1] My heart, my heart Kickstart my heart ..." Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1]The Sarge has a song for everything.

The Sarge remembers high school. Mid 1980-something back when he really thought he was gonna actually do something different and unique with his life. Turns out he was wrong. Easy Peasy

Oh and you'll never get clear water. That's a Hollywood fantasy for a pond. The best you'll do (without a heavy duty pool filter) is mud-brown, but scum and algae free. They make a dye you can use to turn it pretty shades of green or blue, but clear is a pipe-dream. It's advertised as algae-control (something about blocking frequencies of sunlight needed by the algae) but don't believe it . It doesn't work ... but it does make pretty colors! Easy Peasy

It's been a constant struggle but we've finally figured out something that works for us. The algae and slime feed on organic material. Keep everything out that you can - leaves in the Fall sink and rot on the bottom becoming a nutrient dense stew for the algae to chow down on next Spring. Ditto grass cutting in the summer - make sure you point the mower AWAY from the pond. Grass cuttings this year become next year's algae food. We dump our wood ash from the wood stove into the pond all winter - the lye changes acidity ( the pH ) and disrupts the growth cycle of the scum. You have to be careful with this and/or chemicals you purchase as too much change to acidity too quickly can kill off fish/frogs/turtles and other wildlife. There are 4 large (and large means 20+ year old, 30 pound) "grass carp" scavenging organic matter from the bottom to keep organic material down. These are considered an "invasive species" here in Ohio, and have to be bought from licensed fisheries sterilized, so they don't breed and send little fish downstream to the next pond when it floods. Even with all that, come late May early June we have a large bloom of nasty stuff. It's from the farmer next door. There's a 90 acre soybean field that drains into the pond via a creek inlet. When Ray (the neighbor) seeds the field and does his fertilizing, the first rain floods Nitrogen into the pond that causes an explosion of growth. For this we use Copper Sulfate - it's a salt ... but heavy metal (copper). Some don't like it but it's considered "organic" because it's a natural salt and not some man-made chemical like Roundup. You have to be careful not to over use it - copper build up will kill worms, snails, slugs, and the like disrupting the food chain ... but it works for us. There's about a week when we see growth right after Ray fertilizes his field, but before the Copper does its job. Other than that, it stays pretty clean. If you go with the Copper, look around at farm supply places. The 5 pound is ridiculously priced - we use 10 pounds a season (2 acres of pond, average depth 9 feet). Starts getting reasonable when you purchase a 50 pound bag (or more). 5 pounds at $7 a pound or 50 pounds at $2.50 a pound? Easy Peasy /. no brainer - get the 50 pound bag. Stuff lasts forever and doesn't go bad. A small pond might only use 2 pounds a year. The real key for us, though, has been the organic matter. We used to just let the yard leaves blow around and settle into the water - there's a couple dozen trees in the yard around the pond. Now, we scoop them out with a pool skimmer every fall/autumn and that has been our biggest bang for the buck. Easy Peasy

Joshua Tree update:

Does Jimmy crack corn[1] with those guns? Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] What does that even mean?[2] [2] I don't care ...

Blashpemer! The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the One True God - may his noodly appendage touch your soul. Oh - and Bob Dobbs is TheMan™, too. Easy Peasy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3uTLHEGm-M Easy Peasy

Why not? I mean if Dude could turn water to wine[1] cure the blind[2] and raise the dead[3] ... he certainly could plop an ice maker and a Snoopy Sno Cone machine down somewhere on the road between Nazareth and Bethlehem, right? Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES [1] Allegedly [2] Allegedly [3] Allegedly

So ... after 2 weeks of warm weather and sunshine, The Sarge is firing up the woodstove this morning. Cold and snow. Snow. The Sarge wakes up in the morning and moves the seedlings out to the sunshine on the porch (still too cold at night to leave 'em out all night) where they've been getting 76 -75 degrees and sunshine for almost 2 weeks. Woke up this morning and this is the view on the back porch. Where's my sunshine?!?!?? Easy Peasy.

The Sarge believes the answer to be a rather lound and boisterous "Nope". You won't need the SOS. You are a non-smoker. Easy Peasy

In the (paraphrased) words of The Harpie: "...mentioning JKP or linking to his site causes turmoil" And we can't have that, right? "Turmoil" Who says that? Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

The Sarge just wants to say it. It couldn't be said in TheOtherPlace™. He actually had mods remove text and links (and send a nice polite email that they had done such - the bastards (The Harpie)). HYPOTHESIS: HeWhoShallNotBeNamed™ can be named here. EXPERIMENT: JimmyKoolPantz. Is the experiment repeatable? JimmyKoolPantz JimmyKoolPantz JimmyKoolPantz JimmyKoolPantz JimmyKoolPantz Short Version: JKP JKP JKP CONCLUSION: To be determined ... Easy Peasy

<wink> <wink> <nudge> <nudge> say no more ...[1] Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE [1] it's an old Monty Python bit.

The Sarge would date most of those guys. [1] Are they for real? Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES [1] Don't ask, Don't tell ...

The Sarge caught three small snapper turtles doing the Menage a 3 in the small pond yesterday. Pics when Mrs. Sarge wakes up - they're on her phone. Does that count as "pets" ? Easy Peasy

Here have some Eye Bleach to wash them puppies out ... Easy Peasy

Just don't lick the windows. Especially the display models. Easy Peasy

Come visit The Sarge ... he's got two of those, too. But no swing ... yet. Easy Peasy

"weird dreams" Aren't dreams, by definition, weird? Think about it. The Sarge can't remember a "normal dream" whatever that is. Last night he was back in high-school as his 44-year-old self, learning how to weld with Robin Williams as Popeye...in English Literature class. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. ??? Over. Easy Peasy

Pfffft. The Sarge loved Gangsta-Cris. Easy Peasy