sgt.barney

The Sarge loves you! Start here: Couch to 5k forums - it's a program designed to take couch potatoes (non runners) from 0 to 5k (3.1 miles) in a comfortable, easy, anyone-can-do-it manner. Easy Peasy

Pfffft. You can't have it. Maybe next year after we divide the crowns and double the output. Right now there aint even enough for The Sarge to fulfill his quota. It'll be another three before the Rhubarb is crankin' out to max potential. We'll send you a whole pie then. Easy Peasy P.S. ==> you should see the strawberry patch this year (strawberry-rhubarb pie, anyone). Last year we got 12-ish pounds of strawberries. After intense propagation, if the weather is right this early in the Spring (and it is) we expect close to 60 pounds of strawberries. That's a crap-ton of strawberry-rhubarb pies.

Rhubarb! [1] We have the first Rhubarb from the garden. Asparagus is doing OK - what's coming up is doing well, but only about 1/3 have popped their heads out of the ground. By this time last year, they were all poking out. May have a lot of die-off from the exceptionally cold this last winter. It's normally about 5 degrees coldest, but this winter we had several weeks at -10 and a few days at -15. Don't know how low Asparagus can handle, but may be significant loss to the cold winter. We'll see ... Cheezy Squeezy FOOTNOTE: [1] What's a Rhubarb?

Your parents must have grown up with Sarge's, Jimmy. Coach's whistle hanging off the front porch doorknob but ... yeah-same thing. Only 'bout a half-mile range on the whistle, though - and if you were inside when the whistle was blown and couldn't hear it, you were screwed. Easy Peasy

The Sarge Salutes ya, Jonny Easy Peasy

That's kinda the definition of "addict", it is quite normal and The Sarge promises it will eventually go away. He promises. Easy Peasy

We all know someone like this... and you'd never really know that they were the horrible addicts that we are - all the way up until you tell them they can NEVER have their "one or two" a day and take them away. Then they turn into one of us. They're just like the rest of us. Don't think they're different, folks, because they only smoke a few - even only "one or two". Mrs. Sarge smoked 3 a day for near a decade (one at wake-up with her morning coffee, and two when she got home from work). That was it. For ... then it started increasing maybe 14/15 years or so in. She's up to half-a-pack-ish a day now so it's progressing to just where Big Tobacco wants her to be. Easy Peasy

We didn't live The DirtBagger's Suite in Mom's Basement until we were 30 [1], either ... Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES: [1] The Sarge moved out at 17 back in 1987 (yeah, do the math - he's old, too.) - moved right into a large bay with 60 other young new Privates in Basic Training not two weeks after graduation. The Sarge traded his Mom for three Drill Sergeants.

Season opener at the local crag (Red River Gorge) last weekend.(Did y'all miss The Sarge?) Saturday at The Great Wall (Muir Valley) and Sunday out at Pistol Ridge [1]in the Lower Gorge. Got some good moderate-to-easy Trad Lines in as well as many a bolted Sport Route at her limit for the Mrs. (she gets kinda sketched out with traditional climbing and likes to stick to the "safer" climbing [2]) Easy Glorious Rock Peasy! FOOTNOTES: [1] The hike up to Pistol Ridge was ridiculous with gear. Somebody fire that trail designer. Not even 2 miles of trail but felt like a 12-miler due to altitude gain too fast. Have they never heard of switchbacks at Pistol Ridge? [2] The Sarge doesn't want to tell her that there is no climbing that is "safer"[3']. If she finds out, she'll quit going. Shhhh - don't tell her. [3] Climbing is inherently dangerous!

Some quit. Most only "try to quit". The only one who knows the difference in you is you. [1] Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] The Sarge believes you have quit.

Joshua Tree WEEK 4 update: serious growth spurt. 2+ inches of growth in #2 seed. #1 to his left is still dying a slow death. No sign of #3 germinating ... so Sarge pushed a few more seeds in the sand last week. Easy Peasy

Cigars want to be burned. It's their life's purpose. What you did was too good for them. Show. No. Mercy. Give. No. Quarter. The Sarge is thinking a good shredding in a blender, an overnight soaking water, then frozen into a block of ice, and finally ... say ... dropped in a 55 gallon drum of muriatic acid. That would do it just about right. :) Easy Peasy

Dudes, too. The Sarge says: grab your nuts[1] at least once a month. Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE [1] or nut (singular) if you're like The Sarge - the whole point of the above: don't be like Sarge and lose one ...

The Sarge remembers you. Where ya been ? Easy Peasy

The Sarge still wants pizza ... or the cheese steak from yesterday's discussion ... Easy Peasy

It kinda really makes The Sarge angry with himself that he put it off - waited 27 years ... for this? This? Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy, right? ;)

Every time The Sarge has entered this conversation, the discourse has turned to well meaning folks informing The Sarge that, No, he really didn't like smoking when Yes, in fact, he did. Every time. The Sarge is happy to watch the mast drop over the horizon on that one. He will gladly let it sail away [1] ... Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] and if your respect for him goes with it, then so be it.

Even if cut in half, it's still an impressive number. Just sayin' ... Easy Peasy

I'll bet Bill Knapp, The Harpie, and Just Jack are eating up multiple dozens of those by themselves via anonymous proxies. It's how The Sarge would be checking things out. Add in tens or dozens for search engines, bots, etc. ... You're probably down to half the actual number. Easy Peasy EDIT: Spelling