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sgt.barney

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Everything posted by sgt.barney

  1. sgt.barney
    The Sarge had 10 or 12 in that last pack - not really sure anymore but it was more than half the pack. He took two out. One he smoked, one set it aside, and chucked the rest. He still has the one he set aside to this day: It now lives in a vacuum sealed shrine to all that was ruin in Sarge's health. A reminder of The Bad Times. He's probably going to hold onto it[1] until his dying day. Sarge is weirdly sentimental that way. (he should probably clean under those fingernails when coming in from the garden and taking photos ...) Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] ... but not, y'know, smoke it.
  2. sgt.barney
    Easy Peasy!
  3. sgt.barney

    What percentage of the Rockin' World's rotation can be attributed to fat-bottom girls?

    1. sgt.barney

      sgt.barney

      I'd ask Freddie but he's ... y'know ... dead.

    2. joe

      joe

      Id say 100% of those that "get on their bikes and ride"

    3. JackiMac

      JackiMac

      or ran away from big fat fanny who was such a naughty nanny

  4. sgt.barney
    All aboard that's comin' aboard - today's QuitTrain is leaving the station ... Easy Peasy
  5. sgt.barney

    What would happen if I brought my Nokia cellphone inside a Kia car?

    1. MarylandQuitter

      MarylandQuitter

      Dennis Rodman will show up and use your minutes to make a call to Kim Jong-un.

    2. sgt.barney

      sgt.barney

      I soooo want to party with Dennis and Kim!

       

  6. sgt.barney
    Promotion for Week 2 Easy Peasy
  7. sgt.barney
    Great day in Red River Gorge and Muir Valley. About 4 miles of hiking with heavy elevation turnover (up and down up and down up and dow very large hills (400 feet elevation change). Got all the climbs we wanted to in at Animal Cracker Wall . Mrs. Sarge, who is relatively wigged out at Lead Climbing due to fear of falling, lead all three of the following routes and upped her game quite a bit this weekend: Casey , Harvey, and Rikki-Tikki-Tavi. Sorry. No pics this time. It was just us (Sarge & The Mrs) so nobody to hold a camera (one of us climbing, one belaying (holding the rope) - no free hands for pics). *** For today's Special Sauce: Mrs. Sarge wants to run a 12-miler. Her 10k win (age group) Saturday has boosted her motivation and she wants to train hard to place decently at the Half Marathon the end of this month. FML. Sarge was planning on an 8-miler, easy/slow pace tonight. Now she's a gonna kill him with a fast paced 12-miler. Easy Peasy
  8. sgt.barney

    How do snakes not tie themselves in knots all the damned time?

    1. Petra

      Petra

      Snakes are gross. We have a bunch of bull snakes around our house. Hubster killed two, but there is a third slithering around. Big. A big bull snake. My dog has found it twice, but it's when hub is at work. I can't kill snakes or mice. Snakes are good for the mice, but they are too close to the house. Snakes need to stay out in the field. :)

       

    2. sgt.barney

      sgt.barney

      They keep the field mice down in the garden/orchard and cleanup the moles burrowing in the lawn. They'll even crawl up a tree and take out that entire family of birds that are eyeballing the quickly ripening blueberries. Snakes are AWESOME!

       

  9. sgt.barney

    How do snakes not tie themselves in knots all the damned time?

  10. sgt.barney
    Sarge & Mrs. are loaded up and en route here. Best kind of exercise: Easy Peasy
  11. sgt.barney
    What a HORRIBLE run. Sarge took 7th place, overall and 2nd in Age Group (40-44) ... but was waaayyyy off pace. Wanted to run 7:05 to 7:10 ended up running 7:55. Ouch! Mrs. Sarge, of course, having to always be better, one-upped The Sarge by taking 6th place (Women's) and WINNING her age group (40-44). She took home a medal today. ... and she still smokes. Sigh. Easy Peasy
  12. sgt.barney
    T-minus 1 hour and 10 minutes. Goal time: 44-and-change (10k) http://www.runningtime.net/Races/Williamsburg/Home.htm Easy Peasy
  13. sgt.barney

    If I pour Vanilla Extract into water and then freeze it ... Would I have created Vanilla Ice?

    1. Nancy

      Nancy

      rofl

    2. JackiMac

      JackiMac

      probably be a much better clone than the original!

  14. sgt.barney
    If you want to quit, you will. If you want to smoke, you will. Which do you want more? Easy Peasy Lemon Breezy
  15. sgt.barney

    How does the Daddy Lon Legs population reproduce ... if they are all Dads?

    1. Nicole Diver

      Nicole Diver

      Hope they die out! ((Shudders))

       

  16. sgt.barney
    Pffft. You're past all that. There is nothing to guard. You are a non-smoker. Easy Peasy
  17. sgt.barney
    How many has The Sarge NOT smoked? Just the one.. One. Easy Peasy
  18. sgt.barney

    How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if the woodchuck had no arms?

    1. Gemzee

      Gemzee

      none? :D

    2. ...

      ...

      a woodchuck doesn't have arms.... so it would be the same.

  19. sgt.barney
    The Sarge awards you your first stripe: Easy Peasy
  20. sgt.barney

    If global warming is real, then why is my toilet seat always so damned cold?

    1. Tink

      Tink

      lol

  21. sgt.barney
    The Sarge bought a Trango Big Bro[1], Number 4, last week. In preparation for doing this route next month: The approach to the climb is, itself, a climb. There's a small climb on the trail to The Arch that is unprotectable any other way - it needs a Big Bro (or go home) and the Sarge won't do it without adequate protection. Was on sale. Cost: 76 bucks. Less than two week's of the old Phillip Morris bill. FOOTNOTE: [1] its for protecting from a fall on climbing routes with really (really) wiiiiiiiiiiiide cracks that are too big for anything else to fit.
  22. sgt.barney

    Isn't it really just kinda mean that the word "lisp" has an "s" in it?

    1. beacon

      beacon

      Hahahaha

    2. Jenny

      Jenny

      LOL! This is the best one yet hahahaha

       

  23. sgt.barney
    5k (3.1 miles), dreadmill (0% grade - no hill) @ 21:48 (7:02/mile.) Ramping up speed for a 10k this weekend. Hoping for 7:05 - 7:10 pace Saturday morning. Nowhere near a PR, but the best Sarge can hope for given his current state of fitness. Easy Peasy
  24. sgt.barney
    BTW - Here's what The Sarges hauled out of the Strawberry Patch today - 13.7 pounds of fruititarian yummers in today's haul: Sure, the rabbits and birds get a few pounds, but when your season's harvest is 50 or 60 pounds, we really don't mind. Easy Peasy
  25. sgt.barney
    Lolwut? Carnivourus rabbits? They're strictly vegetarian 'round The Sarge Homestead and we like to call 'em "dinner" when they find the garden. Do yours prefer Peking Duck or Duck a L'Orange? Easy Peasy

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