sgt.barney

Tangential Side Conversation: Wait! What? This is a thing? There is somewhere (<anywhere>) in The Entire World where one can just walk in and "ask to be seen immediately" ... and not be directly laughed at by the staff? Sarge knows of no where one can do this. No. Where. Easy Peasy

You have nothing to "learn". You already *know* what to do, you just need to ... y'know ... actually do it. The Doc is yet another in a looong line of excuses " I'll *really* (for reals!) quit this time if I'm seeing a Doc) that you really don't need. Just do what you know you need to do. Easy Peasy

It is as easy or as difficult as you choose to make it. "Mind over Matter" as the saying goes: if you don't mind, then it don't matter. Embrace The Suck and you will be amazed at how easy it becomes. Fight it and you will live in misery. Easy Peasy

You are losing ... <something> ... Sarge would refuse to call it "friend" It's not. OTOH -you will be gaining so much more. You just don't know it yet. Easy Peasy

You rolls the deeces ands ya takes your chances. Random roll of the dice on what days are good, what days are bad. No rhyme nor reason. Random. Chance. Chaos. (Good and bad are pretty relatve, too. You may be having a bad day that ... months down the line ... seems like a comparative good day.) Easy Peasy

They *absolutely* can. They just won't. Put 'em someplace where they have no access to smokes and they'll quit just fine. The local Jails here don't allow smoking. Everybody quits just fine. A lot of bitchin and moaning, but 109% quitting. Every-damned-body can quit. Easy Peasy

Sarge's bane was driving. They keys simply wouldn't fit in the ignition without a smoke in the mouth, right? He sucked on an empty e-cig for a few weeks while driving. Believe it or not, sucking air helped. It was just having something in the mouth and hands. That familiar feeling and habit. Easy Peasy

And ... It's been 10 days(last seen pledging "NOPUIFLIA"* in a daily NOPE thread) - no Evelyn. <color Sarge NOT surprised> Easy Peasy *Not One Puff Until I Feel Like It Again

mmmmmm .... boogers .... Booger Snooger

Sarge is only slightly younger. Easy Peasy

Sarge can believe it (he knows how stupid he can be) ... he just wonders ... why ...? Easy Peasy

You're supposed to *spray* the oven cleaner ... not inhale it. Easy Peasy

Sarge recommends more dietary fiber. Eat your veggies & salads. Celery: It's like dental floss, but ... for your butt. Easy Peasy

The Sarge - he sees you Bakon. Easy Peasy.

You don't really have to put on weight if you don't want to. Sarge lost 36 pounds in his first 2 years of quit. Mostly because he started training to run marathons and 26.2 miles tends to melt off the ol' belly roll. Much like smoking: weight gain is a conscious choice. You don't have to smoke if you don't want to and you don't have to gain weight if you don't want to. Easy Peasy.

(1) If you had "slip ups", then you weren't "quit". No way. No how. (2) They weren't "slip ups". You, quite intentionally, knowingly, and willingly lit a cigarette and smoked it. No accident. No "slip". (3) Patches? Why quit twice? First you have to quit smoking (which you didn't do) and then you have to quit the patches. Why. Quit. Twice? (4) Your quit date is wrong. It's the date you smoked your last cigarette. Easy Peasy

Crying won't help. Quitting will. We've heard it from you dozens of times in the past three years. Forgive him, folks, if The Sarge no longer believes. How is this any different than the times before? You really mean it this time? Really, really really, really ... like - For Realsies? Then what are you gonna do differently this time? HINT: There is one-and-only-one correct answer to that question. Easy Peasy

Sarge can be nothing else. He is what he is ... and he is an addict. Easy Peasy

Dont. Be. Stupid. Mmm-kay? You are the same addict you always were. We all are. Just because we're not currently using does not mean, in the slightest, that we are not still addicts. You are still the same addict and Sarge re-affirms: Worry and Fear are useless Soul Suckers. Easy Peasy

You weren't afraid enough to quit for 40 years. Why worry now? Worry and fear are useless Soul Suckers. Easy Peasy

Sarge never "moves past" jackassery heaved upon him by dumbasses. For. Any. Reason. The least of which being the simple passage of time. Easy Peasy.

F_ck 'em. F_ck 'em all. They aren't even worthy of the time to type this post. Easy Peasy

The funny thing is ... almost every one of us here ... started out over there ... Bunch o' Fascist Pigs on the management team over there, if you're askin' The Sarge his opinion. Even if you're not, he's givin' it anyway. Easy Peasy

Uhhhhhhh ... EveryDamnedThing . Easy Peasy

The Sarge eats alone ... Easy Peasy