Hi Marti, your life sounds a lot like mine, but we soldier on, I like to think that my past experiences have shaped me into the person I am today and I am thankful for that. I remember hitting no mans land... OH BOY, felt like quick sand, in limbo, analysing everything and anything I could, could see into the distance, but damned if I thought I could make it there, luckily for you and for me, there were and there are plenty lovely people to help pull me/you out of the depths. I don't remember having the feeling that I could conquer all or that I wanted to try and achieve new things, just remember the feeling of whatever it takes I am going to get through this and out the other side, I will not fail. It took an amazing amount of strength and will power to get through it, reading and reading educating, taking a few swift kicks up the ole buttocks. There was much discussion at the time of no-man's land some saying it existed and some saying it was all in our minds, but to me it was real and I went through it came out the other side a much stronger and focused quitter. So trudge no more Marti, march has hard as you can, I'm at the other side and ready to pull you along as much as you need. You will make it, and if you want to conquer the world my lovely, go for it xx