JackiMac

Babs....so true, no try and no aim, just do....thank you all feels like being home xxx :)

Hi all my fellow quitters, stopped again last night at 10.30. Surely this time it will be a sticky quit. I hate this relapsing, but when the addiction calls its a fecking strong bugger. Its like having the two little birds on your shoulder, one is yes and one is no and your brain swivels from left to right constantly, until frustration, anger whatever you want to call it creeps upon you and you find yourself falling yet again. I am no longer asking myself why, but I am telling myself this time I will succeed. I always believed that I would never be a relapser that I was stronger than the addiction, that I could do this, but here I am again 2nd relapse a year down the line and trying again. Yes I know the trigger points, I know what to look for, I have no answers, I have no excuses, Its just me here trying to make this my sticky quit, trying to be stronger than before, because only Me myself can make this last. So Introducing Myself, My name is Jackie, I quit on 3rd Febuary, 2015 at 10.30, I have relapsed twice in the last 12 months, once at 7 months and once at 3 months, I stand up and say to you all I AM ADDICT, but I am aiming for this to be my sticky quit.

Hello to all you guys, never once over the last few weeks have I forgotten about you, I have yet again stumbled and fallen from the train, wedding stress, money stress, too many boozy nights, call it what you like, Me I call it weakness, weakness in myself, I started taking the champix again at the weekend and then stopped. WTF, my first port of call was here, calling in some re-inforcements, why do I keep falling off. Reading all your lovely messages of celebration for my wedding made me cry. I think of Evelyn and how brave she is she keeps getting up and keeps trying, looking at all your lovely quits, friends and I am proud to call you friends who have been with me over the past year, who have stayed strong and are such an inspiration all at such major milestones. The nicotine addiction calls and when it calls, boy its lure to me is strong. I really want to quit cold turkey, as I feel that the Champix is cheating, so please all you cold turkey quitters, fling me a line words I will read and listen to. My brain told me I missed smoking, told me how much I enjoyed smoking so I listened to that, few drinks later bammm staggering around, mmmm cigarette would be nice. How easy it is to fall off and just pick up the smoking habit again, its only 3 or 4 but its that damn 3 or 4 that I can't seem to let go off yet again, I can go a whole day, not even think about a cigarette and then the thought comes back in again. Will I ever reach past the 7 month stage every fibre in my being wants to, apart from that niggle in my head, I know I wont miss it, I know its not my friend. Even sitting here writing these words is helping, what an amazing place this is. Natalie I notice after all your troubles you are back here onboard, well Done my lovely, so proud of you. So many new names here as well, Hi to you all and welcome to the Quit Train you will find no other board that will offer you so much help and assistance as here, I have become so close to many of you. I promise some wedding pics in the next few days along with an affirmation of a new quit date and a new mind set xxxx

Just popping in off my broomstick for a wee while to say hi, Life has been extremely busy busy over the last few weeks and feel so guilty I haven't been able to pop in as often I would like. Wedding plans are all go, Xmas plans are all go, lots of christmas party nights coming up, been decorating, sorting out finances, I have had the odd thought or three of smoking but I have been positively telling myself "uhu no aint going there girlfriend". I am so freaking excited I think I may just self combust, so if you hear any tales of piles of ash and mysterious disappearances, yup that will be me. Love you guys and good to see so many quits still intact, Nats, stay strong my lovely.....................Whooshhhh

Quitting always made me so afraid, scared I would miss the nicotine, miss the cigarette, what would I do without it, I could never see further than that, even the thought of dying from lung cancer, heart failure even those thoughts did not make me want to quit. I stated smoking at 12 to be part of the gang, thought it made me look cool, I couldnt smell the smoke from me, but I started to feel the effects, the tightening of the chest, the lines deepening of my face, being out of breath walking up the stairs, I started thinking, what if I could be braver than the addiction, what If I could face the addiction head on, I need a little medical intervention to stop my brain from wanting cigarettes, but again so far so good, I have been thinking about cigarettes alot recently, but I keep telling myself, be stronger than the addiction, be braver, don't be afraid of your quit, its making you a healthier, stronger person. Positive thoughts do go a long way, nicotine addiction is negative thought,

Unfortunately I am one of those members who did not post an SOS when I should have, and relapsed, deep down I knew at the time that I did not want to be talked out of the relapse as I was romancing the cigarette far too much, I stupidly thought that one would do no harm, not realising how quickly the addiction could take hold again, that just shows us all how powerful the addiction to nicotine is, it makes us think we are invincible that we can stop at any time, that we do not need help from anyone, Posting after the relapse is like waking up the morning after a night of heavy boozing and wondering where the hell you are, putting your head in your hands and going WTF. There are all different types of doubts, relapses and ways of us dealing with them. The most important aspect is that we know we can come and we can reach out to other people and get the help we need. Sometimes we are too ashamed to post an SOS as we feel that maybe so far down the line we should be able to deal with the cravings, but never feel ashamed to reach out, we all need help at times and a shoulder to rest on, sometimes we need to keep fighting. We sometimes need to learn that there is no quick fix in quitting and it can sometimes take time.

Hi My lovely Natalie, I havent been on the board for a couple of weeks, life has been hectic and just signed back on this morn, please please do not beat yourself up its the worst thing you can do, you fell off the quit train, I have been where you are and it is so scary how quickly the addiction can take hold again. I do not know what happened but sounds like you have had a hard time. Your mind needs to be in a place where you what to stop again, and you want to beat the addiction, its so scary and frightening I know, stay close to us Natalie its what helped me get back on board, remember the feeling of not smoking, I am yet again feeling the pull of the crave because I am so stressed and I have had alot of shite to deal with over the last two weeks, but staying strong is important, sometimes you have to dig very very deep to get that strength, but as I said your mind need to be in that place where you really really want to stop, I feel for you my lovely and know we are all here for you always xx

Hi and welcome on board, and congratulations on the best decision you will ever make, quitting, as our lovely DD has said read. the best thing you can do is educate yourself on your nicotine addiction, we have lots of lovely people here, and we are all here to help and support you as much or as little as you need, one important thing do not be afraid of your quit, be stronger than the crave and remember a crave is just a thought, it will not harm you, but lighting your cigarette will , focus on the positives and remember the addict may well try and trick you! Post and stay close, looking forward to sharing your journey xx

For all that I am not in favour of the E Cigs, my brother purchased one for my eldest boy about 6 weeks ago and to be honest he has not touched an actual cigarette in all that time. He has a few puffs on his E Cig/vaporiser and seems to be coping really well, I am not sure what strength he is using, but could anyone give me any advice as to how long he should be looking at before dropping the strength and what kind of time scale would you say to be completely off the E Cig. He is using oils, I had a friend who gave up over a year ago and still has the occasional puff on this. I saw on the TV the other day they are now saying that these products contained more chemicals than cigarettes!! Very proud of my boy but just concerned that he swaps one addiction for another. Thanks xxx

Welcome back Jen, stay focused my lovely, the only thing stopping you is YOU, you can do this, you can beat this, if you feel a wobble read your letter to yourself and remember how proud and empowered you felt writing that, hold onto that emotion, smoking will kill you, you owe yourself more, looking forward to sharing your journey xx

Nancy totally agree with you here, when you read that cigarette smoking is harder to quit than Heroin it makes you wonder why there is no rehabilitation centre for Nicotine users. Seems to be plenty of replacement products out there to help you quit and self help books and tapes but no actual place you go book yourself into, sometimes I wonder if they feel that the withdrawal symptoms aren't as violent (is that the right word) as alcohol and drug withdrawal and don't need regular daily checks and more one on one help as people seem to suffer far worse when they are going through the withdrawal process from drugs and alcohol.

Awesome well done xx

Ava amazing you are such an inspiration to us, big hugs to you xxx

Woop Woop Sonic well done, be proud xx

Awww Jen so proud of you, you've helped me in so so many ways, and I am so proud to be part of your journey, big hugs to you DD you rock xxx

Lace a fantastic quit for a fantastic lady, xx

WOW Kristin one month is amazing well done, be proud xx

Holy Macaroni, this milestone slipped my blonde brain LOL, thats good tho, smoking is not on mind constantly YAY thank you all for your lovely words, I wouldn't be here if it was for my little corner of sanity , love you guys xxx

Kristen my lovely, believe in yourself and believe that you have made the right decision, I relapsed after a good solid 7 months quit on the pretext of just one!!! I had a wobble a few days ago and told myself I was going to buy a pack of cigarettes, then I stopped and then I remembered that horrible feeling after I had lit that "just one" and I remembered the disgusting taste, the horrible smell, it made me feel sick my stomach, then I remembered how often I had told myself I wanted to quit, I hated being a smoker, and the crave was over, after time you will not miss the "So call social" side of it, because you will look at your friends who smoke and you will be glad that you are on the smoke free side of the fence.

Such A tragic tragic accident, RIP my heart goes out to his family xxx

Your Lairdness i salute you and your awesome quit, as you jauntily whistle your way up the road towards the Lido deck, wiggle that kilt for me. Ta!!! xxx

God I remember those vivid dreams and still get them, not so often now, but the sense of failure and disappointment when you wake up is a good reminder that your quit is solid, any time you feel a crave, remember that feeling. I could never get over how real the dreams felt, I woke up once actually crying because I thought I had smoked.

I just love it.................sorry got to put it out there xxx (eeek I get so excited for christmas, god help my work colleagues having to deal with me with christmas and my wedding) Tinsel, glitter, snow, decking the halls and all that goes with it Christmas is the bees knees for me xx

Hey Rowly great to see your still SMOber, no-one is ever forgotten, sometimes we cannot find the time to simply stop and say Hi, I am finding time speeding up at the minute so much to do not enough hours in the day, but one thing I know for certain is all my quit smoking family are never far from my heart and thoughts xx

Wiley my QB damn proud of you, 10 months, xxx