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Thanks everyone. Thanks Sazerac for checking on me, you're right, I've been miserable. I should definitely update in the mornings because it always seems to be the nicer me. I've been mad and mean today. I'm making my family crazy. I'm mad at my husband for not proactively reading my mind and doing/having/not doing/not having exactly what I think he should have done/had that very minute. I'm eating way too much stuff. I had to step back into the real world with a very stressful email/phone call today and it was awful. I wanted to have a cigarette (or twelve) after I read the email and before/during/after the phone call. Ugh...I know I'm not having a realistic first few days of a quit as I'm literally living in self-imposed exile. A taste of real world problems and the cravings hit me like crazy. I felt so good this morning and I'm sure I'll feel even better tomorrow morning. It's good to share this though. Thanks for everyone's encouraging words.

I feel sort of good. This is my third day of not smoking. I've only been awake for a couple of hours and, surprisingly, the mornings have been the easiest for me. Most of the tension and cravings seem to build throughout the day. This is not real life though. I have been hiding in my room the entire time. I decided to give myself one more day of non-reality for good measure. After tonight, it will be 72 hours+ nicotine free and then it will all be in my head, right? Tomorrow, I'm going to have to set my alarm clock and get two children out the door but it's going to have to happen much differently than it did last week. The mornings were my 'me' time with my nicotine and caffeine. I smoked so many cigarettes and drank so much caffeine in the a.m. and sat on the internet for hours. Tomorrow, I'm going to set my alarm clock for just enough time to throw breakfast at my middle child as she's going out the door and hope my youngest will take it easy on me. Last night I posted on the SOS board for the first time and said something about reconsidering. I meant reconsidering cold turkey as I was ready to slap a patch on to see how it would feel (I've never used one). I didn't mean reconsidering quitting. I didn't apply any NRT last night and I'm glad I didn't. I also whined a lot about how could this go on for two weeks/two months, etc. I do feel pretty awful on and off right now and it was depressing to read that some are still feeling so bad and struggling so much weeks/months/years later. I don't know...hopefully that's an exaggeration as I can't imagine people are feeling like this weeks/months/years post quit or everyone would be a total mess. I'm going to go with the plan that this is very temporary and with each passing day it's going to get easier, i.e., I would not have typed, 'I feel sort of great,' yesterday morning. I am improving (but I know I'm probably going to be teetering between ready to break something and hysterical crying about 4:00 pm this afternoon.) It has been really bad at times but it's been completely doable cold turkey. Someone reminded me yesterday I wasn't a special snowflake...hahaha (but I've always thought of myself as one) I started smoking when I was about 13 years old (my entire family smoked.) I've just turned 49 years old last month and I'd estimate I was at 2 packs a day at least for the past 20 of those 36 years. That's a lot of nicotine addiction and it has been completely doable. So, while all people deal with things differently, I think this can be done cold turkey IF YOU'VE DECIDED IT'S YOUR TIME and, damn heroin addiction has got to be worse than this, wouldn't you think? Here I am giving advice and talking like I'm an Ex when it's only day three but I really feel good. This is my time to quit, I cannot smoke any longer, I cannot indulge myself any longer to the detriment of my children's future. So I am super motivated. More motivated than I was when I watched my mother kill herself (figuratively, not literally) with cigarettes. Of course there are probably going to be times when I think I'm going to scream and fall apart. I will be stronger and I'll breathe through it. I've not smelled any cigarette smoke since Sunday. Is the first waft of smoke I run into going to make me cringe with longing and desire or make me gag with revolt and distaste? I really don't want to smell any cigarettes for a long time. I'm not going to be a hypocritical condescending ex smoker but I think I'm pretty fragile right now and I really don't want to smell it. I strongly believe finding this website played a pivotal role in the ease with which I'm getting through the first few days of my nicotine withdrawal. Thank you all so much.

NOPE

Thank you all. I hope I can be the kind of person one day to get emails when someone posts in the SOS forum. This is a great community service you're all doing. Immediate interaction and feedback have really helped me. I'm mad at everyone and everything right now but I can't really be mad at all of you. :)

Thank you. It's nice to know I can send out a cry for help and there are people here right away to talk me away from the ledge. I haven't had a smoke but I want to so badly. I can really imagine it. I feel better now, I cried, really for the first time, like uncontrollably and I'm usually a very controlled person who is not a crier. I've been doing 712 different things since yesterday morning to keep myself sane and alive and smoke free but I haven't typed them because that would be annoying as heck to type a little update every time I want to smoke a cigarette so bad...this is my first time posting in the S.O.S. area at hour 44, my near breaking point. Thank you very much for your sincere support. I can't imagine you're all right there waiting to rescue someone. What time is it in the UK? Thanks for the 72 hour encouragement Bandito. So I have one more day and when I wake up on Thursday morning, I will be nicotine free. :)

I"m nearing the end of day two, 43 hours smoke free, and I'm starting to cry. I've quit cold turkey. Two days ago I smoked 2+ packs of cigarettes. I'm seriously reconsidering. Should I have tried nrt? Should I put on a patch after I've sat here for two days nicotine free? I'm a mess and when I read posts from others that are two weeks, two months, two years quit and they all say how much they're suffering and asking when will it get better, when will it go away...it's depressing as hell. I think I can suffer through what I'm feeling right now for a while but I don't know if anyone can go through this for weeks/months, etc. It has to get better, it has to go away completely. If I was going to do it, I just wanted to do it. Not suffer through it initially and then need to wean myself off nrt later on. But It was a lot to do, to go from 2 packs a day to nothing and I also stopped my all day hot tea caffeine habit because they were so intertwined, drinking tea and smoking cigarettes. I'm longing for a cigarette so badly, I'm eating and drinking and chewing and breathing...this is so stressful and hard and I"m so angry.

Good Morning, I've been awake for about six hours and I haven't had a cigarette. I feel like someone at an AA meeting like you see on TV. My name is Geri and I haven't had a cigarette in 14 hours. I was planning to hide in bed all day but didn't factor in the cats desire for breakfast. Isn't it funny how four people live in this house and only one of them can be counted on to keep the cats alive? I've decided to avoid my usual three cups of tea in the morning as it would be painful without cigarettes so I poured myself a glass of iced tea and went back to my bedroom. The first hour was OK. It was like my body was patiently waiting for me get around to having a cigarette. Around the second hour I had to consciously tell myself to close my eyes and breathe. I had a bit of a mini breakdown around hour four where I yelled at my husband for not being supportive enough (where he was actually just laying low to stay out of my way). I just had a small milestone, I ate something for the first time. The cravings after I ate were not as bad as I had thought they'd be. Maybe it will be worse when I'm not lying in bed and hiding. I guess I'll call them cravings but they're more like little feelings that come on almost immediately. It's like I'm sitting here typing this and am not thinking about smoking at all because I"m distracted with something else and then this feeling washes over me, a longing, like in the space of less than a second I can envision what it would feel like to light a cigarette and take a puff, the feeling of inhaling it and the immediate feeling of happiness and relaxation that will wash over me. (I know it's not real happiness and relaxation, but it feels like it.) It's surprising me that it's more like an immediate and out of the blue feeling rather than a ongoing, building pressure. I guess I thought it would feel more like an ongoing day of misery. I'm finding myself agitated and prone to screaming without much provocation. I've watched all the back episodes of survivor on the dvr. It looks very nice and sunny outside. I'm closing my eyes and breathing deep and it makes the gripping tension go away.

Thanks for the quick encouragement. It's comforting to know I can share my daily milestones and trouble spots and chat with people who get it. I'm sure I'll have something witty to say tomorrow about an hour after I wake up. :D

My name is Geri and tomorrow is my quit date. I have been smoking for a *very* long time. I chose tomorrow's date about a month ago. I had to get through some events that would be almost impossible to do smoke free and tomorrow is my big day. I've quit smoking two other times in the past 36 years and both of those were due to pregnancy. I was successful both of those times by hiding in my house and not leaving for several days because I knew if I went out into the world where cigarettes were available, I would not stop myself from buying a pack. Wish me luck! For some reason, I feel ready to do it now as I've never really wanted to stop smoking before, I enjoy smoking...a lot. I'm having a big last hurrah with my usual smoking triggers. Sitting in my regular smoking spot, drinking big cups of hot tea and surfing the internet. I'm terrified but oddly resigned. I will be able to get past the first couple of days merely by not having any access to any cigarettes even if I wanted one, but worry about having the strength to refrain when I have to go back to reality and leave my house.