Ladybug

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hello, Mr. President!" a heavily accented voice says, "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland... I'm ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you. "Well, Paddy," the President replied, "This is indeed important news. How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there's meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven." The President paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again: "Mr. President, the war is still on. We've managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" the President asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor..." President sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" The President was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat: "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000." "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. President. I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says the President. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there's just no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."

I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. Quitting does that to you. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod bad luck :D :D :D :D

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thought some of our Newbies might need a good laugh!

Love it markus...

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You must feel so relieved...I am glad you quit and I am glad you don't keep it a secret anymore. Secrets are just too much weight on your shoulders.

In my age ...weight gain was just not acceptable, it just doesn't come off that easy and it's not healthy if you are in your 50's. I gained a lot of weight in 2 weeks, mainly because I ate everything that didn't eat me first. I changed my diet in week 3 and the weight came right off. I started running and now I weigh less than before...So it's no big deal. I say go and eat all your want when you just quit smoking, spoil and pamper yourself. You will feel better after a couple of weeks..then it's time to become more active.

N.O.P.E. and S.N.O.T.

Why would you think about smoking...you are a non smoker...so proud of you :-)

I don't know anything about addiction.....but I watched a young man who worked for me fighting with alcoholism. He got arrested, lost car, house, job and he still couldn't quit. I couldn't rely on him..I tried to keep him...but had to let him go. He was sleeping in the streets and looked like an old man, he lost his fight. They found him one day...nobody knows what happened..they say his heart just gave up. He was young, he could have been my Son. I watched him, I tried to help him...I watched how he destroyed himself.. there was nothing that I could do/nothing anybody could do. I have a hard time with the word addict when it comes to myself...it feels like I don't deserve it...because my fight is a joke compared to his....if that makes any sense. I call myself a Smokoholic! Yes, smoking is addictive and yes, I might have harmed myself and I might die of cancer -time will tell- but I hurt only myself..not everybody around me. this happened years ago I still think about him..very often! a BIG LIKE from me CS!

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Very well said Julie!

REZ Congratulations and Thank you for all your support!

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Thank you Aine...I thought I read everything Joel Spizer wrote! It's like removing a band-aid...do you want to do it slow with numerous breaks ...or rip it off with one quick move! In the end we all find what works for us!

fight for the right without question :-)

I am putting it on the side, first it was used for my gourmet diet. Now it's used for something out of the ordinary. I am not crying over the amount of money..it's gone ..I just hope a younger person sees it and decided to quit....

I was certain it was a dinosaur :-)

Bumped for our Newbies!

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