Ladybug

LOL MQ you baffled me as well, since you said : When members join (and at anytime after) they have the option to receive emails from Quit Train. If they want to receive emails from us, we will send out a personal email to each one to check on them and see if there is anything we can to do help. It will also offer some insight on areas that myself, the moderators and Beth can improve the forum. Either you "the owner" write the emails or Beth gets the email address and contact the members, in this case you would share an email address. But, no worries, all good...you guys are doing a great job and will eventually help some people to stay quit.

Sharing an email address with a 3rd party, even though it is a member of the board, is an invasion of privacy. I don't remember the sign-up process, but I don't think there was a button where I could allow or deny my private information to be shared with other members of the board. Maybe I misunderstood and you meant she will contact members via PM and not email, or maybe she is a administrator and I didn't see this either...my bad then! The people coming from my blog will be posting when they are ready. The have different reasons for not posting, very interesting reasons by the way!

It's a forum to control an addiction, I assume the reason why some people don't come back are pretty self-explaining. I am no sure, but I assume relapsing must give you a feeling of not being strong enough to go through with something (really just an assumption). I would feel very annoyed if somebody would ask me for "reasons" and would feel pestered. After all it's online and some people (still) like their privacy. I do know for a fact that some of my blog readers have signed on here but are not sure if they want to participate -yet. I know the reasons and fully understand, they will come forward (or not) if they decide to do so.

well Susana....

You remind me at a friend of mine. She is in an abusive relationship since years and keeps on going. Occasionally he goes too far, she moves out and stays with us or other friends for a few weeks. Then, she is full of plans of her new life alone and she seems to see him as what he is, just a bad guy, not good for her. After a while she sounds differently and she doubts herself "can I really do this all on my own" and it even seems that she misses him for whatever reason. She gets scared of her own courage and somehow he always talks her into coming back...and so she does. Nothing ever changes. The guy is still the same and sooner or later their life goes back to normal, what means the abuse continues. Then, she calls and moves in with us again...like a never ending cycle. I hope that one day she will find the strengths to do what's best for her...so far I doubt it, but still I have hope. Susana my buddy, you are in the same cycle and I do hope that you will find the strengths to break the cycle. You were my hero when I quit, you were always there for me and you inspired me. You kicked me verbally in my behind when I had bad days and I needed that. You were on my side celebrating my small milestones with me. Do you remember? I wanted to be where you were then and now I want you to be where I am. Smoke-free throwing my strengths toward more important things.

I almost wished I wouldn't have snooped at the Quittrain today in the morning, but I did and read about your relapse Susana and you have been on my mind ever since. So are you Amy! I asked myself “is there anything I can do” to make you stop smoking and even though I am not sure, I feel like I have to tell you (all) something and so I will. Listen to me Susana and Amy (all women) just for this one time…listen to my story and decide for yourself. As you all know, I was a longtime smoker…35 years, my whole adult life I smoked and I wasn't one of the guilt stricken ones. No, I was a happy smoker; I enjoyed it, but of course I knew about the damages it could cost. Lung cancer, emphysema, COPD and so much more…we all heard about it over the years and still smoked. Didn’t we? Well , there is more to it than just that, something that hardly gets any awareness. Autoimmune disorders like MS, Celiac disease, Lupus and Rheumatoid arthritis are related to smoking as well. Lots of studies show that, especially in Europe. All of these diseases incurable~! I was always healthy all my life. I had a bad car accident and a few colds and the flue now and then, but nothing dramatic. 3 months into my quit I started to feel different, but didn't really could put my finger on it. My hands and fingers were hurting “oh well, I worked too much and too hard. I need to stop that, I am not a spring chicken anymore" that’s what I thought and so I slowed down –had too, I was hurting. A few weeks later my elbows hurt and then my knees and feet “oh well, I run too much, I need to slow down” that’s what I thought then. It continued for weeks, the pain got worse. It was everywhere, in all my joints…it woke me up at night. I couldn’t go down the stairs as I normally did. No, I had to go one step after another…like an old Lady. It was time to see a doctor, something was wrong and so I did. I was in pain 24/7. Test and more tests, blood work and more blood work. Result: Rheumatoid arthritis, an immune disorder. Bummer! So, my immune system decided to attack my body and my joints and there is no known cure for it -yet. I started to research and didn't like what I found. No known cause, no known cure…Bummer (again). The doctor put me on steroids (something that I never have taken before) and so I took it. Good Lord have mercy! The pain went away but I felt weird, miserable and not myself. Long list of side effects and I didn't like it. I didn't want to take this stuff… but it helped. I researched some more. My husband was scared out of his mind, even though he didn’t talk about it, I could tell in his eyes. He was worried and so was I. I started to research outside the US, went to Europe and Asia for answers and what I found was mind-blowing. Smoking or not smoking is related to auto immune disorder, they just don’t know how and why. A university in Scandinavia had some interesting studies…I wanted to know more and contacted them. They answered and the communication went back and forth. The immune disorders and diseases affects women more than men. Mostly women over 40-50 and mostly ex-smokers. Bummer! It takes 10 years after you quit smoking to be on the "safe side". I had a pity party (well deserved so I decided) and asked myself, if smoking would make all of this go away, should I smoke? What if I would smoke? Would it mask the disease? Would it help? I seriously thought about it and almost cried; I didn't want to smoke anymore…but the “what if” was on my mind. I decided against smoking! There is medication for Rheumatoid arthritis, even though it won’t cure it; it might bring the symptoms to a “halt”. I got all the prescriptions and read the side effects. A long list, longer then my arm (and I have long arms). NO way would I take this, if I don’t have to. More steroids…”Nope, don’t want those either”. I researched more and more. Food was obviously related to these diseases. Movies like “fat, sick and almost dying” were an eye-opener. I got more into it. Menopause, longtime smoker, female…I fit into every category. Bummer! I got lucky and was able to get into contact with a lot of people with auto immune disorders and they all are off the meds and pain and symptom free since years. To achieve that, they gave up a lot, more than just one cigarette. It is a drastic life style change. No more dairy products (my middle name is cheese), no caffeine, no processed food, no sugar, no grains or wheat, no red meat..a long list of stuff that was a “No No”. I juiced vegetables and fruits for 20 days and let me tell you, I was hungry all the time…so it seemed. Surprisingly (or not) all the symptoms, the pain, everything went away (and some weight as well). Food was indeed the answer, not just in my case. I went back for blood work without telling them what I did. The Rheumatoid factor was way down and the rest of my blood work was outstanding….go figure I ate like a rabit dahhhh. I gave them the unfilled prescription back and told them what I did. Of course, they disapproved then, but the tests showed otherwise and still do. I love food and I love to cook, but now food (at least some of it) is my enemy. I am the 3rd month on my “new life style” and I feel great. Energy out of the roof and people asked me if I got a face lift (WTF did I look old before?). I cheated once and had a cheese sandwich…never again! Now I look at food and know that some of it is my enemy. I still enjoy cooking for my husband (why should he suffer) and I actually enjoy it. I am so lucky that I love vegetables, fruits and fish. There are times when I feel so sorry for myself. No dairy product hurts the most. No sweets, no caffeine, no steak or other stuff that I ate all my life…it hurts occasionally. BUT the truth is, I might have done this all to myself. Action and consequences…alright then! My smoking might have been one of the reasons that I have to deal with that crap in the first place. So for 50 years I could have everything I wanted for the next 50 I might have to live differently..oh well. So, Susana and Amy…you don’t want to be in my shoes in a few years (I don’t wish this to my worst enemy). You have it in you all of you! Stop smoking now…you don’t want to pay the price your weakness might cost you one day. Believe me, you don’t…it’s no pick nick. Lucky for me grapes are fruits, and wine is made out of grapes…I don’t react to it at all J I am fine and feel like a Million Dollars, no pain at all, no discomfort in any form and way...and most importantly...NO Medications with side effects like cancer. BUT…a lot of discipline on the food part…giving up smoking was easy compared to that. I know there are worst diseases out there and I feel blessed that I only have to deal with something, that just requires will power and a shitload of discipline. But, I do wish I would have never smoked…at all! And yes, I know, people who never smoked get sick too, but people who smoked will get sick more likely! So with all due respect…go and look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you are willing to pay the ultimate price one day and if the cigarette in your hand is worth it. And if you think that's alright…go ahead and continue smoking...and if you don’t …well, stay here and stay quit for Heaven’s sake! What more do you want: The Sarge: told by doctor he would die young Doreen: Almost lost her feet Comrade Simba: Heart attack Ladybug: Auto immune disorder Seriously...think about the rest of your life...NOW

Don't quit When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is strange with its twists and turns, as everyone of us sometimes learns And many a failure comes about. When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned inside out - The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell just how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.” (St. Jude) Put your head straight and go for it, like you do with many other things. No "ifs" and "buts", no excused just a clear line -like in business. "This is what I want and I will do it; nobody and nothing can stop me". Go for it Susana, don't search longer for loopholes...there are none. Either you smoke or you don't. Relapse is torture buddy, you are too smart to torture yourself over and over. The dark place in your head!

(((Nancy))) Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy. Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

LOL DD, I can't believe you still remember. Thank you, good enough (laughing). Isn't he an eye-candy (for women my age). I always told DD that I wanted a picture of George Clooney "naked" for special celebrations lol

Oh Ross, you know I can't resist you my friend :-) I never thought about myself as an addict, but when I quit smoking I have been told I am one, so I had to deal with it. That means to me I needed to educate myself about addiction...and that's what I am still trying to do. The first thing you learn when you research the word "addiction" is that you will always be one. No cure, no healing! It was so easy for me to quit smoking, only a few tough days...but nothing serious (so far). But maybe that will change in 10 years from now. Maybe there will be a situation in my future, when I will have to face the demon out of the blue. Relapse after years ..not unheard of. Giving up an addiction can be so hard on some, I could read about it every day. It showed clearly that people react differently. Lets be honest, there are worst addiction in this world than smoking. Drugs, alcohols and pills that's some serious stuff that can alter the brain. Then there is the addiction to food and obesity is the result of it and its a hell of an addiction, costing us Billions. Every addiction is different and so are we, the people dealing with it. I DO NOT believe in a one-fixes-all solution...it's much more complex than that. I think Easy Peasy is great, because it shows that it is indeed possible to have an easy quit (for some)... BUT there is more to it and we only hit the tip of the iceberg...we should listen! I think this board has a lot to offer...absolutely!

I believe addiction is a complex subject and should be addressed as such. There is no one-fixes-all solution. It was easy for me, but it is obviously hard for others, something that can be seen especially on this board. All the successful quitters, like you Babs, were already non-smokers when they came here from another board. As far as I can see it this board hasn't "produced" a non-smoker yet, but had to deal with a lot of relapses...over and over. Watching this from a distance shows clearly the difference in people, as well as the different approaches. You can't just throw a word like "addict" around without digging deeper....that's at least what I believe and I try to understand. I think it's great that some like me or the Sarge had it "Easy Peasy", but I believe it could be very discouraging to all the people who struggle. Quitting is easy for some; it is hard for others and seems even impossible for a lot of smokers...there are so many faces to addiction. I haven't found the answers yet and can't automatically assume that my quit was the "way to go"...that would be like ignoring the facts. Platitudes and slogans don't help everybody. No worries, I think you all are doing great and "Easy Peasy" is great as well. No hard feelings, I thought this board could help some of my readers.

You are right Babs, we should keep it simple (here) and we should not tell people that fighting an addiction could be hard. No more discussions or questions about the complex subject "addiction". Easy Peasy all the way, no more discouragement!

Perhaps it’s similar to why/how vegetarians no longer eat meat. At first, it’s a willful conversion; next, you just lose your taste for it. And then it becomes rather unappetizing, or downright nauseating. The only reason I have made it this far is because I am sure about my decision. Being a non-smoker is beyond all a question of will power, it's just the way it is! It's a steadiness that I have only felt a few times in my life -a kind of confidence that only comes when it t's arrived. No more battles, just an acceptance!

So proud of you Marti :-)

Still running around trying to preach “Easy Peasy” LOL? Like a horse wearing blinders, so it can’t see left and right. But just because it can’t see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!