Jess, have you read Allen Carr's book/listened to his audible? I kept those nearby at all times when I first quit.
To me, I thought cigarettes symbolized better times when I was young and carefree, and I held them tight with a literal death grip. Then I started reading Allen Carr and I cannot even tell you how much it helped me. Any time I thought I was "missing out," I'd turn on the audible in my iPod and it got me through many a tough situation. (I could probably still recite most of the friggin thing from memory.)
For some, quitting is not an instant thing. It takes some work - but that is ok! There is nothing in life more important. Honestly nothing is more important than saving your own life, then relationships with family and friends etc fall more into place. Once the scales fall from our eyes, we realize smokes=death & destruction of health and wealth. That's all they are. Anything else is just NOISE from that dying junkie. Now that I am a bit farther away from the quitting process I am just simply amazed at the big con I believed in almost 100% for so long.
That's alright though, we can't change the past, we can only change the present and the future. You are gorgeous and you have a gorgeous life ahead of you. Just stay the course and chalk them up as bumps in the road.
Well done Jess.