Shymaid

Nope!

Thank you, @Mac#23! The monster is definitely still there! Every day it starts whispering "You are doing great! So you can have one, just one. You really want one. Just one won't hurt. Just pick up again from that, as you are doing so good. So good you can handle just one. Do you really want to live a cigarette-free life? They are really good, you know. You KNOW!" etc etc. Hardest to resist at night, though I'm getting the hang of it!

Oh, I know it's just the beginning of the journey! Thanks for the warning, though, with the breathing. I'm just glad my body has been able to tell me it's much happier without it before anything like that might kick in - and that I'm able to hear it as I'm not hysterical Like some breathing pain I didn't really notice (or steadfastly ignored...) until I took that one cigarette on Sunday, then I remembered I've had that for a time. Also I feel cleaner inside in general, which is a great relief! I've had a need to "get clean" inside for quite a while now, so it's gratifying to finally start moving toward that! Yeah, I found that out the hard way Hadn't seen it mentioned anywhere in what I'd read, but found out on Sunday. It's really a good thing, as I drink way too much coffee anyway and have been wanting to cut down or go off completely. Easier when your body doesn't tolerate it anymore!

The day is over for my part, almost time for bed, but NOPE!

Much easier today than when I first started! Several things has changed for it to be that way, and I've learned a lot in how to deal with the cravings. - Apparently anger will drain the body of nicotine, so that explains the VERY strong urges I had Saturday when I was fuming. Also as I've dealt with that by taking a cigarette before, so I have to find better ways to deal with that emotion. The anger today gave me much less cravings, showing how the body has rid itself of the vast majority of the nicotine. - I've only had 4 cups of coffee today (the measurement cups, not actual mugs I drink from! They are way larger!) and I used a smaller cup to see if that helped by tricking me to think I'd had more than I had. That didn't work, the coffee was gone in no time. But I switched to tea instead for the rest of the day, and had 3 cups of that. It really improved the cravings, or rather what I'd thought was cravings. It really was the buzz from the caffeine I'm no longer used to feeling, and so mistook that for nicotine cravings. - It helps doing stuff I don't normally do, but I don't think that's a long term answer. I have to go back to my normal life sooner or later, so I have to learn to deal with it in my normal situation. But perhaps it will help during these first few days at least. Also I'm looking forward to wash down everything to get rid of the staining! All in all I think the first three days will be much easier now than my original three first days. Most of the filth is out of my system by now, so the hardest detox part is probably over. Mucous is starting to come out as well, less fun, hehe! But not too bad. A bit more cough and a bit more stuffy in my sinuses. Blood sugar has started to normalize; the first days I got a wolf hunger about every second hour - which I am NOT used to! But that has mostly gone now and been replaced by a more normal sense of hunger. I knew the cigarettes affected my hunger, but didn't realize how much! Also my head is a bit more in place now, though sometimes I zone out a bit still. It's fairly exciting to find out how my body will work without regular administrations of poison! Upward and onward!

Yes, confidence is definitely a part of it for me! The cravings has always seemed so scary to me, and the fear of failure. I'm glad you've found a resource that works for you! Sometimes you just have to find the message conveyed the right way for you! I'll keep the book in mind if I find I need more to keep me going, so thank you for the recommendation! Well, the burger was well done! But I think I've done well as well, haha!

I suppose a little celebration is in order: today was my 150th day of yoga in a row! Ups and downs, but I kept showing up for myself on the mat and I love it! Getting stronger and more flexible, and even managed to mostly fix my bad back and pelvis after over 10 years of problems! Why didn't I hear of Yin Yoga before?!? It will only go up from here as I also leave the cigarettes behind me!

Thank you, @Doreensfree!

If this attempts fail, I might try that. I don't want to mix and match too many methods, and right now it's going well. Second half of the day has been fairly good (might be because I've been shopping, though ), and the pangs hasn't been too bad. Including after eating a huge burger! A slight after-meal-pang, but it wasn't hard at all to sit through.

Thank you, @Doreensfree & @Mac#23! After a bit of a bumpy ride first half of the day, the second have has been a lot smoother. I hope to be over the worst, at least when it comes to detoxifying as I've only had one since early Thursday evening. Feels like I'm getting control over the withdrawal pangs now. So far it's the most promising quit I've had, which I'm really happy about!

Oh, yes! Internet addiction is not only real, but very prevalent! I think many don't realize because it's not a physical drug; or they know/suspect but don't take it seriously because it's not something physical. In many ways similar to nicotine addiction, which is taken less serious than other drugs. I'm very aware of it in myself, though, and try to take periods off the computer and immerse myself in analogue life. Today it was mostly as some of the resources I use to keep my mind off nicotine and strengthen my resolve, is on the internet. This place, Allen Carr's book, videos etc. So I became a bit panicky about that. Not to mention my yoga is online, and as this is my 150th day I most certainly do NOT want to miss it just because some BLOODY FOOLS can't do their job properly!!! We changed service provider today, and they mixed something up in the transfer. I had resigned to the fact that it might not be back until tonight, when I suddenly saw it was fixed!

Thank you, @feeling_patchy! Was a rough start to the day; one of those where everything seems to go wrong and everything is done just to make you angry Including the internet being down for some hours. But I've managed so far at least

Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you, well done! I know we've only talked for a couple of days, but thank you so much for your support so far! You're doing a great job helping others find their way through that damned smoke in and around their heads. Seems like May 29 is a lucky day

I do like watching my ticker as well, and get a bit annoyed when it doesn't move when/how I think it should The tickers of all you pros on here is very inspirational as well, as I can see it's possible and doable! You can do it! Soon you will be completely nicotine free!

Oh, there's that as well! Confused it with the ticker, lol

Hopefully I'll be a bit more aware of what I'm doing so I can actually USE the SOS forum Alas, it was not just my ticker acting up. I might be at the start of new three days, but I don't feel like I am where I was on Thursday, so that's good!

So, tomorrow I'll be more careful with the coffee. I think that contributed today, but mostly with me confusing a caffeine-buzz with withdrawal pang. Perhaps that's why I've previously thought the pangs go on and on forever, almost? Not thought that hard on the connection between nicotine and caffeine before, other than my personal mental association between the two. That might help. The sleepiness throws me off a bit; today I was tired again 1,5 hours after getting up and I thought it a waste to go back to bed. After all, I was already up! And as said before, I'm a bit afraid of throwing off my sleeping pattern. But listening a bit more to my body, keeping more of a mental tab on what's going on, etc. I am still very optimistic, though! Also, getting blood sugar under better control will probably help!

Thank you, @DenaliBlues and @Gus! There were several triggers at play at once, I suspect; the main two being 1) Lost in my own thoughts, and then I tend to go on autopilot 2) The availability of cigarettes in the house I will have to hold myself in better check from now on! I really don't want to smoke anymore, and that is one reason to more or less just jump into it as fast as I did. Didn't have the patience to wait a few days to read a bit more or anything, just jumped. Not giving up! I did so well, so overall that is more encouraging than not. I can manage this without taking off for the wilderness which then just postpones the hard part - getting back to civilization and facing the truth of the quit.

So, Shymaid, I know you either really REALLY want one, or you have become too relaxed on the quitting. You might think 'It is just one', but that leads to another and another and another. I know you have problems seeing a bright future now, but no amounts of cigarettes will make that any brighter. On the contrary, it will only make the future bleaker and darker. You hate being a smoker, you start hating and despising yourself for being one, and using that as an excuse to continue instead of doing something about it isn't an option; not anymore! The withdrawal might seem endless, but it isn't. It doesn't really last that long, and when you think it does, it's only in your head. You can do this! Just feel how your body feels now compared when it was drenched in nicotine! Stay the course!

Nope! (Re-pledging!)

Yeah, caffeine isn't the best substitute later in the day! The withdrawal pangs aren't really that bad with nicotine, which is why it can be such a fight with the addiction. It's not like we get seriously ill without it, so if we falter it's so easy to start beating ourselves up for being "weak". And so end up in a bad circle where we end up still getting our nicotine fix one way or the other. Having a plan should make it easier, or at least better mentally prepared. You'll find the way that works best for you!

So, I succumbed to the temptation... No excuses! I failed myself, and I really have no reason to smoke. I suppose one positive thing is that it wasn't even good. I didn't feel any better when it was smoked, on the contrary! I was still dizzy with buzzing nerves throughout my body, and on top of that I got a bit nauseous. So it certainly didn't tempt me to continue! I can already feel my body feeling much better in so many ways, even while it's detoxifying. One of the most irritating things is that today was much easier than yesterday, so there really was no "good" reason to fall off. As I have some chronic fatigue issues, it might be a need for that stimulating effect of nicotine that got to me. It's mostly gone and/or under control, I do get some dips now and then, in particular when the body has some additional strains. It was one of my problems getting into a daily yoga routine over this past year. But I managed to do that, and I will manage to leave the nicotine behind me! So right back on the train! Subliminal music is playing, and I'll be diving back into Allen Carr's book! Hopefully it will be slightly easier to continue from as there is less toxins in my body than there was on Thursday, and all in all the positive effects I feel already is a boost to keep going.

Indeed! I'm in my third hour or so with constant addict talk in my head, on why I should take one - 'it's just one to alleviate the cravings; then you can get straight back onto that train! It's ok!' It's one thing when you CAN'T because there's no tobacco to be had. Quite another when you have to make the CHOICE not to smoke. At times I've wished I could be put into an induced coma for a few days to a week until my body was over the worst cravings. But I'd just start up again, probably, as I wouldn't be prepared for the addict brain. I find myself remembering what that first week was like at the cabin, taking solace that it wasn't that hard to go through AND I was in a very bad place mentally with some stuff that had happened right before (hence the trip, lol). Not sure why I feared coffee so much this time, as I had morning coffee everyday then! Perhaps it was more a fear that I would start binging coffee to get that buzz and having a complete caffeine overdose I've found the music on that channel very helpful as it literally rewrites your brain while you listen to it. Sometimes you need to hear it several times, others might need a few minutes or through one night. At this point I'm less in need of that song, and enjoying silence once again. I'll be taking a looooooong walk very soon, but will back-up with that music just in case. And right now I truly do find solace in 55 non-smoked cigarettes! Every day life has to be changed, even if it stays the same just without cigarettes. And that takes time!

We all have to find our own way through this addiction, and I know you are strong enough to make it through! I had a week off cigarettes while at a cabin in October, and found that it was all in my head. The physical craving was manageable, but my thoughts kept circling over smoking worse than some scavenger bird! And before I'd left the cabin I'd decided to start smoking again when reaching civilization... So this time I've focused on my head, purging the excuses, rationalizations, etc. One thing I've found helpful is hypnosis music, with subliminals (all listed so you know what you get), from the channel Minds in Unison. I've tried several of his tunes, and it's helped me get my head straight. One on forgiving yourself was essential on the day I quit, easing the fear of a smoke-free life. So try it out if you want!

Welcome, Patchy! Just got on the QuitTrain myself, though I'm going Cold Turkey myself. Been working toward this point over the past couple of years, and at this point I've realized the problem is mostly in my mind. I CAN handle the physical withdrawal, it's not really that uncomfortable; unless my mind blows them out of proportion as it has in the past. So getting that under control is the most important aspect for me. I can't advice you on patches, but I can have your back through this journey as much as I can. You can do this!