Brioski

Floss-er them teeth! edit: where tf was I looking?

-13

Life is like a box of chocol….oh wait, that’s momma that says that And that’s when he shrieked out in terror that….

-10

-7

-5

-3

-5

-5

-3

-2

-1

0

-1

1

00

00

-2

Thank you, thank you…. Hearing your responses (lol hearing…reading your responses) really helps. It’s one of the very few things that helps me is knowing some of you guys went through this same shit. Jillar I’ve thought of getting some old plates and throwing them at the rocks behind my house, I have a lot of acres so it wouldn’t matter but I would worry abt the animals/wildlife stepping on them so I’ll look for a place like that to go to. Great idea. I also called a few ppl to get started w a therapist. And plan to talk to my dr abt this weird depressed state, I don’t want to go on more meds but if that’s what I need so be it. Your words mean so much Jillar thank you. The brats were salty lol. Christian those words were powerful. I sense a lot of similarities btwn our quits although it sounds like many many ppl go through this too. I think that’s it, I just have to literally force myself to do things that were once nothing day to day tasks that now seem utterly impossible, even painful, and accept that my mind is gonna wreck havoc on my mental and emotional state due to this addiction while going through the motions of life. It’s just scary as you mentioned that it seems like it’ll never go away. I trust you, and the others, that it will one day. I pray for that day to come. By the way, thanks for telling me all of that. I have to admit something bad too….when hubs came home and I was a mess, a puddle, almost throwing and punching stuff…he said “why don’t you post on your train? Have you written to the people on the train and see what they say?”…and I said “**** that train!!” And for that I’m sorry.

Those all sound great, @darcy I’m sorry you’re having a rough go, so am I. Hubs came home to me sobbing, like gutted sobbing, at the sink doing dishes. I said I seriously want to go buy a pack. Had keys in hand, crying. I feel like I’ve never felt before….depressed, unmotivated, sad, anxious, lazy, mad…like rage…like wanted to shove my metal fruit basket out of the window and break the kitchen window. I took a bottle of water and my anxiety med and went from just sat there staring out blankly for a while, to literally having a war within my head of going out to buy a pack to relieve this scary place I’m in or to suffer, literally feel like torture suffering until…who knows when bc it’s different for everybody. Then I smoked some weed. Then used my straw air cigarette. That helped I think. And now I’m typing to you guys. Hubs is making brats on the grill. I feel bad I’m such a wacko to him but he says it’s ok. Am I ok I don’t know.

-2

20!!! line up, sticks

-18

-18