Brioski

Ok cool I will! You’ve convinced me lol. I’m doing good, just made a post in my topic, not great-omg-I-never-crave-them, but def good lol. I don’t miss them way more often than I do miss them. Actually, today I got up and made coffee, did not think of them until now. Like even logging on quit train wasn’t craving/thinking of them this time. Weird lol. Have fun at your outing!! Omg that’s cool abt your sister, don’t tell me specifics but is she northern or south jersey? I’m way up top north jersey. have a great day sp!!

I had Jillar’s voice in my head to do a quick update here . Also pictured (literally a frog smiling) Dor nodding and smiling in approval. So yesterday I got SO aggravated after a naturopath doctor appt ($$$) which was a follow up to a blood test, only to be told to “fix” all that’s wrong w me is to enroll in a thousands-of-dollar-class w her in a group….to which I said quite a number of expletives. Lesson learned. Eff off lady. I’ve been really working on myself…going to therapy, I tried reiki and reflexology (cool but prob won’t do again lol), cardiologist, pulmonologist to make sure I’m ok, exercising a tad, etc. Anyway after this appt I was so angry, but my first thing wasn’t dyingggg to go buy cigs. I did use my air cig and told hubs why don’t I just get a pack, even everything I’m doing this quack says I still have toxins, inflammation, and parasites in me - eff it! And he was sweet but I also wasn’t super serious like I was earlier in my quit. There has been many days where I don’t think abt cigs or smoking. Which is pretty cool. I still get upset abt stuff but only a couple times now abt cigs. I think I’m feeling real emotions….abt my late dad, late dog, miscarriages, health journey/loosing weight, etc. just more often bc I’m not using cigs to cope or cover up when im feeling sad. I think too for a while there I didn’t want to admit that I was feeling happier bc I was feeling better (breathing, not crying every other hour for cigs, etc). But now I can def say I feel happier….but still def think of cigs often….not necessarily crave them but sometimes want them. The other weekend though it was raining hard, I was folding laundry in my spare bedroom, I had on a 90s sitcom, and I had the thought that I’m glad I don’t smoke, this is a nice feeling. yea I couldn’t believe it either. I also craved them later in the day lol. So that’s it. I’m gonna keep chugging along but still early in my journey. Btw, we’re getting an in ground pool, just signed for it, so I’m very excited. (Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t saved enough from quitting to get a pool, it’s something we’ve talked abt for years )

Day 6 is literally amazing SP!! And also amazing is your community project! I looked up community classes but haven’t signed up for any. I should’ve lol. You’re doing beautifully well done

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Amazing job SP….I think you’re right…he’d be semi happy if things just went back to “normal”. But there will be a new normal which I know sounds sucky, but it’s really the same lol just can breathe better. I know it sounds cliche and I was like wtf that won’t help (but it really did lol), forcing to drink water and deep breaths. It really does help. I used to go out to the garage and smoke and go on TikTok so if I’m having a hard time I just go on TikTok outside or on my couch and do the air cig. It soo helps. You’re doing amazing girl, keep rewarding yourself every hour you’re smoke free

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SP it’s totally different for everyone like Jillar said…and I’m just being honest w u about my experience. Literally take it hour by hour, day by day. They add up quick you’ll be surprised. You’re doing amazing

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Congratulations, @Katgirl!!! 2 years is amazingggg!!! And congrats on your wedding!! That’s a good day, 10/7. (It’s also my birthday that day lol) Way to go girl!

I totally get you SP!! The whole waiting to go to bed, watching the hours go by, wondering why go through life without any enjoyment…both times I quit I’m like wtf what the heck is there to life now, not happy, etc. it totally does get better. Life does get back to some points of normal and just keeps improving I’m guessing lol. You don’t believe it or think it will but it does. I was crying my eyes out, guttural sobbing on day 20-something…by day 31ish things were better. Almost four days go girl!

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Awesome SP!!! Yes when the cravings are there they. are. right. there. Lol and it doesn’t seem like they’ll end but they do after some time. It really helps me to keep reading abt this addiction, even if you don’t know how to feel or what to think. I’m super proud of u bc these days are hard.

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@Slow progress I absolutely do find it easier now….and that’s coming from me who literally days ago was cursing everything out, saying eff it I’ll just go back to normal….for a while there I didn’t know who I was. I was friggin angry, crying crying crying, I couldn’t breathe, my joints ached, and I was like wtf I thought shit’s supposed to get better after stopping. But I’m on day 79 and u know what, I’ve had hours (not full days yet lol) that I don’t think abt them. So to me that’s progress, and I’m almost thinking like ok what’s 3 months have for me? 5 months? To see if I’ll actually not think of smoking, bc damn I still do. I smelled someone smoking a cig yest at the shop and I’m sorry but it smelled good lol. But I just enjoyed smelling that I didn’t feel the agonizing need to go buy them. Idk. You got this girl I believe in u

Proud of u, SP I’m going to lay down and read. Goodnight

Wtg, SP! You are deserving of encouragement. I kept reading and reading about the addiction and what it tells us, how it manipulates us, both here and over on Reddit. Also forcing myself to drink water. Air cig (straws and cotton ball). Analog clock to watch the hours go by. Sugar free red vines. TikTok. Trashy reality tv. And u know what, I still want them sometimes, I think it’s just gonna suck for awhile. But u know what I have had a few not super sucky days so there’s that. Lol. Here for u!

9. Throw them back in the ocean

Wait what happened lol Dor…-12 Jillar -13 Dor -14 Jill -15 me -16

Just got home from the shop…me and hubs own a screen printing and embroidery business. I used to teach special education K-2 but resigned last year. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life . But me, now, Just crashed on the couch for a bit before making dinner.

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