DenaliBlues

sweet

yam

Hi, @Matthew0225. My thoughts on motivation might be controversial, and they may not apply to you. But perhaps it will be useful to someone else another time, so here goes: Do not feel ashamed of your relapse. Shame is a trap. For me, feeling ashamed about my inability to self-regulate intensified my urge to smoke, to try to numb those feelings of failure. That created a closed-loop system of feeling awful, then smoking, then feeling awful, then smoking. My shame fed the cycle. Shame also impedes our ability to be honest with ourselves. Because shame is excruciating, it’s human nature to avoid feeling that way. So we engage in denial instead. “I’m smoking so much less than I used to… it’s not affecting my health… I really love smoking… it’s my free choice… everybody’s got to die from something…” You know the narrative. It’s 100% BS, of course. But shame feeds the distortions, which tightens the grip of the addiction even more. I wish I had understood this cycle earlier. It undermined my motivation to quit for a long time. But better late than never. So my advice now, for what it’s worth: If you’re in a shame cycle, break it. Regrets? Plenty. Sorrow? You bet. Anger? Absolutely. Longing for freedom? Great. Channel all those squirmy feelings into energy that helps you commit to your forever quit. But along the way, tell shame to take a hike.

Koalas eat leaves.

Damp. Leaky yurt.

leper

darjeeling

I have tried sucking on straws and hollow licorice. There is a brand of mentholated straws called QuitGo that I found helpful on occasion. I also got some aromatherapy inhalers in calming and pleasant scents. None of these things are magic, but they are part of a large toolkit that supports my quit. NRT (the patch and occasional lozenges) was my main strategy, but I found that I needed dozens of different tactics to mix and match to manage my cravings. It's actually a surprisingly creative exercise to come up with different things to keep one's mind, hands and mouth occupied. And if you're feeling stuck or stumped, there are great lists of tips and tricks available on this site. Fishing around for posts like that got me past many a crave-wave! I personally have avoided zero nicotine ecigs/vapes. Mostly because I am trying to break my association with smoking as a stress response, and I don't want to do anything that intensifies my longing for inhaled nicotine. (Plus I'm not entirely certain about ingredient disclosure.) I guess my bottom line is that there is no one strategy that, by itself, has the power to keep my quit. I need to combine a lot of different things - physical and behavioral. It is doable!

Thanks, everyone, for the positive reinforcement, the honest discussion of tough issues, and the LMAO moments, too. I seriously doubt I would have made it this far just rattling around in my own head. You all are the best!

Great to have you back on the Train and breathing free!

Hi, @Marie71. So glad you have joined this forum and are putting a plan in place to quit! There is information, community wisdom and moral support here that have helped a lot of people stop smoking, including me. I'm only at the two-month mark, so I can relate to the feelings of worry and dread you describe. But the fact that you have 46 years of NON-smoking life experience to draw on will strengthen your quit. You have already coped with difficult events and emotions without nicotine. You can do it again. IMHO, any quit that actually happens is a good quit. I don't believe one method vs. another is superior. They all have pros and cons. I was a very heavy smoker, and for a variety of reasons the patch was my method of choice. It worked for me. If you ever want to talk about what that was like, I'd be happy to personal message with you or start a separate post/thread about it. Quits that stick require us to wrestle with the fact that smoking is an addiction. There are emotional and social dimensions of quitting on top of the chemical withdrawal to manage. That is why it's useful to line up a support system (friends, family, support groups, therapists, whoever you can trust to be kind and patient) as part of a quit plan. For me, this QuitTrain forum has been especially helpful. People here "get it." The emotional, physical and mental pain of quitting is real - I won't minimize it. But it does not last forever and it CAN be overcome! I delayed quitting for many reasons, but among them was fear of failure - fear that I would be overwhelmed and unable to handle the withdrawal distress. In retrospect, I think my nicotine addiction distorted that thinking and fed me fear to keep itself in control. It was not an accurate self-assessment of my ability. We are all - every one of us - capable of so much more in life than nicotine wants us to believe.

Glad you're doing well and keeping your quit. Yep, triggers abound - this experience is a pretty intense obstacle course. But if you've made it this far, you've got the agility to go the distance.

Eleven months is amazing @Katgirl! You’re a NOPE superhero! We’re all so pumped about your wonderful quit.

Congratulations @JudiMD. Two months into your new life of freedom! Thanks for being part of my quit crew… it’s so helpful to be on this journey with you.

lentil stew

Donned elaborate lederhosen.

chime

I’m sorry to hear about your week @intoxicated yoda. It’s difficult to metabolize loss and to know what we want or need during those times. Try to be kind to yourself while you are coping. As for me, I’m lying on the couch tonight with a snoring cat on my lap and am pretty much unable to move because I busted my butt this afternoon. A big storm broke a bunch of trees in our yard – sad to see all the damage. Today was about revving up the chain saw, bucking up firewood, and bundling all the small stuff for the county to haul away for mulch. A job well done, but I’m so bleeping sore that it’s going to take me a couple of tries to roll off the couch and lurch to bed. I think even my hair hurts. This is all the adrenalin I need, thanks – no skydiving required. I totally relate to the idea that nicotine hijacks the brain’s reward centers. Mine are totally screwed up, and yes sometimes the thought of smoking looms large. A different recovery program I once participated in promised that the family problem would eventually “lose its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.” I’m hopeful that the same will become true of smoking. In the meantime, I’m wishing you ease. Take good care.

Excitable Vikings emitted raucous yells. smite

eating yellowfin ahi

Icee

dialed rotary telephone