DenaliBlues

My quit is really being tested right now. My mother is lying in a hospital bed with seven staples in her skull after taking a bad fall. My urge to smoke at this time is ferocious, it's a pulling sensation deep in my body. I can hear the siren song of my nicotine addiction so loudly. I want to smoke away my feelings of helplessness and anxiety. I want the “ahh” sensation of having a chemical craving satisfied. Smoking would help me to gather myself. It would be soothing, it would help me cope… That is all a load of crap, of course. A web of falsehoods and illusions spun by my ingrained addict mind, romancing the smoke to lure me back. Time to dig deep to defend my quit. Instead of lighting up, I will visit this Train and ask for help. I will make a list of the reasons it’s worth fighting against a relapse. Maybe hammering them into a keyboard can hammer them into my head, too. I choose not to smoke today: Because there is no such thing as smoking “just one” cigarette. One would inevitably lead to more. That’s the way nicotine addiction works. Because there is no true solace or gratification to be found in smoking. That’s a false narrative created by my nicotine addiction. The reality is that smoking would trigger an endless cycle of chemically induced “chasing”… chasing a sensation of completion that never actually arrives. Been there. Done that. No thanks. Because withdrawal was awful. I don’t want to go through it all over again. Because I would feel lousy about relapsing. And I don’t want to feel lousy. In my current situation I don’t have the bandwidth for it, actually. Because it’s a lot easier to navigate hospitals without being a smoker. Though I would rather not have made this discovery, it is a silver lining. No more biting my nails till my next chance to smoke. No more missing doctor’s rounds because I was off somewhere feeding my addiction. No more dashing multiple blocks through the rain to get off the nonsmoking campus, no more sucking down a few frantic and pathetic puffs, no more dashing back cold and drenched and stinky. Because if I’m honest with myself and tell junkie mind to shush for a minute, I can't recall that smoking ever actually fixed anything that was broken. I know I’m not the only one who’s had to make it through hard times without smoking. How did you make it through? What were YOUR reasons for not relapsing? How did you protect your quit? Part of the magic of this community is helping each other rally… thanks for letting me lean on some of that collective strength today.

-4

6. Clean awkward cracks and crevices

3. Climb a mountain

NOPE (even when it’s really hard)

Well done, Sal!

10. Rinse beans 10 things to do with… a toothpick.

steak

marshmallow

bunch of grapes

-3

NOPE

Way to go! Happy 5 months!!

loud and clear

4. Getting a colonoscopy

2. seeing the dentist

ten thousand years

plowed the field

8. See the Grand Canyon Let's try 8 things most people have... procrastinated doing.