DenaliBlues

Hey @Pilgrim. Good on you for being accountable for the relapse and coming back here to resume your quit. We've all been there. Glad you're back! I agree with those who have observed that the reason for your relapse is not especially mysterious. We smoke - and we relapse - because we are ADDICTS. Once we truly reckon with that fact we realize that there is no alternative but to take smoking/vaping 100% off the table. It is not easy, especially for those of us who were heavy users. But, at the same time, it can become deceptively "simple." In the words of some wise quitters here on the Train: When cravings strike, there are 1,000,000 things you can do in that moment. There is only one thing you cannot do - stick something in your face and light it on fire. Once your latest nicotine binge clears your system and you come into acceptance of these facts, the struggle does not magically disappear. But it does fade into a kind of background noise. No more dreadful withdrawal symptoms. No more shame from failed quits. No more roulette with your health. No more killing yourself so that others might profit. Won't that be nice? You can do this. Time to grab that freedom with both hands!

nope

Well done @intoxicated yoda! Congrats on your anniversary and thanks for all your help in the early days of my quit.

Glad you are on the countdown to being done @Reciprocity.Hang in there. The fatigue side-effects are no joke, but they are thankfully transient. Hope you get the spring back in your step soon!

NOPE!

N O P E

^^^ Absolutely agree with this @johnny5. I lost many quits before this one by treating quitting as if it was purely an abstinence issue. Which of course it is at the beginning. But the addiction has deep emotional and psychological tap roots. Abstinence by itself, with no other understanding or healing, becomes brittle with time. Breakable. For me, becoming a permanent nonsmoker requires not just abstinence, but deep recovery work - to heal and build resilience, to understand that triggers and cravings may always be there, but I am not controlled by them any longer, because have tools and choices and a supportive community here. Your post is timely @QuittingGirl because just this evening I was watching a move where the protagonist sat on a log outside in the forest and smoked a cigarette. It looked so good. I wanted a smoke too, even after 4+ years of being quit. But I’m not in real danger… because I can recognize that feeling as nostalgia (not a command), and because I have this forum to come share things on. Plus I never ever EVER want to go thru withdrawal again! KTQ friends.

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Yeah, quitting is kinda messy @JoJo. All the yearnings, anger, sorrows and hopes pile up in a big jumble. Things do settle down. Till then, stay busy, dance in your living room, punch a pillow, howl at the moon, whatever it takes to protect that precious quit!

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Welcome to the Train @ParturMadcap! Glad you found us. Participating in a forum like this absolutely increases the odds of having a successful quit. Addiction likes to isolate us, to create an echo chamber for "stinkin thinkin" that calls us back to smoking. Engaging with fellow quitters is a fantastic antidote... it helps us thru rough times, give us insights, keeps us accountable. And this group will also make you laugh out loud, which is a beautiful thing. Six weeks is fantastic! How long had you been smoking, and what's motivating you to find your forever quit now? Looking forward to seeing you around!!!

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Hang in there @Stewbum! Cardiac stuff is scary, but I am glad you are getting yourself an experienced team. Bypass surgeons are hotshots and they know how to help. Something like 400,000 bypasses are done in the US every year, so put yourself in good hands. We’re all pulling for you!

Well done @Mona!!!

GO HAWKS!!!

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No time like the present to begin again! And I agree with @catlover that the reward possibilities are endless. A visit to a nice museum or aquarium… some new art supplies… watching a favorite movie… getting a fresh haircut… Reward yourself often to celebrate your milestones! As you are quitting it also might be helpful to be temporarily a little lenient with yourself on dietary restrictions. It’s great to be healthy. At the same time, it’s important to not feel 100% deprived. Also your blood sugar might go a bit low and you may crave unusual things. It normalizes. Keep us posted!

Good for you @shy. Attaway to turn things around! Yes, every hour you don’t smoke is a big victory. They add up fast! I, too, occasionally used nicotine gum/lozenges as a temporary tool while quitting. Way better than smoking or vaping, when used to protect your quit. Let us know how you do during those first 24 hrs.

Me too @Doreensfree!! I actually STILL have an iPod Mini that I keep audio books and music on… including Queen’s Night at the Opera and Day at the Races! Have been nursing that little ipod along for all these years, and I still listen to it every day. It was a huge part of my quit, too. I kept it in my pocket for power walks and spontaneous boogie sessions.

Thanks for sharing that today is a struggle @Pilgrim. And I am really sorry for the loss of your friend. Posting here instead of smoking is a great coping strategy. It not only helps you, it’s helpful for others who are white-knuckling for whatever reason. At this stage you are still rebuilding your toolkit for self soothing without smoking, which takes a little time. But it’s also a good creative challenge, to think of things you can do that feel comforting. Distraction is also key. As is repeating the list of reasons you don’t want to pick up again. Smoking won’t actually be gratifying, nor will it bring back your friend or solve any problems. The only thing smoking will do is make you want more smokes. No thanks. You can make it! Hang in there.

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Staying busy is a good tactic @shy. We've all been where you are - being tired of the grip smoking had on us but feeling very fearful of quitting, and trying to bargain/reduce our smoking, instead. But the only surefire way to stop smoking is... to actually stop smoking. By weaning yourself down you're basically keeping your brain chemistry in a constantly activated state of withdrawal that's longing for its next fix. Counterintuitively, you may feel way better once you let yourself get through that early withdrawal stage and start to feel free and clean. It feels like a big leap, but the distance may be shorter than you think. And we're all here to catch you and help you along the way. Just let go of the smoking and fall... UP!