JudiMD

Thanks, Doreen. I’m trying. God knows I’m trying. I just feel so helpless. So weak. I don’t know which way to turn. I wish I could find somebody who has had the HABIT of smoking as long as I have. I really think it makes a difference. It’s all I know. I don’t feel like me. It’s like the Judi I’ve known for 62 years is gone. I guess I’m in mourning. That’s what it feels like, anyway.

Everyone says the cravings you’re feeling today are temporary. If it’s temporary, how come I feel them everyday? How come it seems to be getting harder everyday instead of easier? Can anybody answer theses questions? “You can do this” doesn’t seem to be helping. I seem to always be just one urge, just one puff, just one thought away from a cigarette. I’m so tired of being depressed. Just being honest here; sharing my feelings.

I think that’s what I’ve been doing, too. I do that on Facebook, as well.

Oh my goodness, I’m sorry if it sounded like that’s what I was saying; I certainly was not. I just meant I was having trouble understanding and following the board; that’s all I meant. Probably my foggy brain.

Thanks, everyone. I’m feeling better this morning. Even though I felt like I was going to die yesterday...I didn’t! I’m sure there will be more days ahead of me like yesterday, but hopefully they’ll be fewer and farther between. Thanks again for the support!

This is the second post I’ve put in here. Don’t know where they go. I think I need to find a board that’s easier to follow. Really struggling with this one.

NOPE!!

I hear you, Linda. I just came on to ask the long-timers how they handled the depression. Maybe I’ve been depressed my whole life and didn’t know it because the smoking/nicotine masked it. I’m so tired of feeling sorry for myself. 2020 was a horrible year of loss for everybody, I realize that. But, besides losing my freedom due to Covid, I also lost a couple good friends and a VERY close family member. My only sister moved out of state and neither one of us travel, so I know I’ll never see her again. Then, on December 31st, I found out I have coronary artery disease and they dumped a bunch of medication on me. I hate taking as much as an aspirin; always have. Then, to top it all off, my 3 doctors tell me; a 76 year-old woman who has smoked since she was 13 years young that I have to stop smoking! No warning. No preparation. Wrong mindset. Just do it! No wonder I’m depressed. All I can do is sleep. I don’t want to eat because that just triggers the cigarette crave. When you’ve smoked for 62 years, everything triggers the cigarette crave. It’s all I know. It’s who I am/was. I can’t promise anybody, not even myself, that I’m going to make it. God knows I’m trying. But I’m supposed to be quitting for my health. Well, let me just say...I don’t find depression very healthy.

My son-in-law just told me he thought about it for YEARS before it completely went away. I didn’t need to hear that; bless his heart. I’m not young, so I guess that means I’ll crave one the rest of my life. Not sure that’s how I want to leave this world. Can you tell I’m really struggling today? I mean REALLY struggling.

I dropped a pan of biscuits in the floor today and wound up lying on the kitchen floor crying like a baby. I react pretty much the same way when my husband leaves the lid off the butter dish. Seems to be getting harder for me each day. So please don’t feel alone. We’ll get‘er done one way or the other. Hang on.

Right now is always the best time to stop. Throw away the last seven. I threw away 2 unopened cartons plus 5 packs! I’m not telling you it’s easy, it’s not...but it’s doable. Don’t wait until your doctor tells you your main artery is 100% blocked and you need a stent. And you have a spot on your lung. STOP NOW. Good luck and stick close by and read read read.

NOPE!

NOPE!

Nope!

Thanks, Jeff. Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. We’ll get’er done one NOPE at a time.

NOPE

Thanks, Linda. I’m still quit but I’m surprised I’m still married! LOL I’m so cranky I can’t stand being around myself. I’d like to get away from me, but everywhere I go, there I am. I hope you’re doing it with a happier face than I am. Hang in there.

Thanks, IQ4me.

Well, that’s good news. They’re going to look at it again in 3 months to see if it’s grown. Going to be a long 3 months.

Thanks, Jillar. Dang it’s so hard. But when you just had a stent placed in a main artery of your heart because it was 99% clogged, and they tell you “You have a suspicious spot on your lung,” it really gives you incentive.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I have smoked in the shower. Not easy, but I managed. Argh!

I hear ya. I’m only 2 weeks in. My doctor told me to quit doing the things I associate with smoking. Doesn’t he realize when you’ve smoked everyday for 62 years, you associate everything with smoking. I can’t wait till I hit 3 months. You’re doing great. Hang in there.

Thanks, Johnny. You’re absolutely right.

Well, as long as you guys can see it, I guess that’s all that matters. Believe me, I know how long it’s been, so I don’t need to see it. LOL