Evelyn

I am fascinated by shark but barely tip my toe in the sea

knowing I ALMOST caved yesterday I'm so thrilled I'm stil free and don't desire to smoke . My room smells of Jasmine, I smell nice and f it to all the smokers in the house. :D

And thanks for appreciating my honest post :)

Yeah kick some fags ass!

GREAT job!!! Go on like this :)

NOPE again this morning NOT ONE (BLOODY) PUFF EVER!

I'm touched by the many replies (while i was sleeping) and I watched Joels video 'is relapse a natural proces of quitting;? good vid!!! I was shocked I got so close to throwing it away and it's a warning; you are never a non smoker we are ex smokers; one puff and the hell starts over. That little junkie in your brain can get your on the ridge so closely. We can be done with nicotine but nicotine is never done with us... kinda like that, once you take tha single puff your back to squere one. I'm surrounded by friends here and I'm glad I went to the board last nite. an SOS is Always, ALWAYS better then one puff. But I did felt like a looser bcause I nééded the SOS after such a long time... but it seems all of you friends were glad I did it and so am I when I look back THANKS ALL OF YOU QUIT BUDDIES!

Do you know a suiting video maybe?

Thanks hun. I cried and cried... Lotsa tension in the house and all smokers. I just had to reach out. This craving got me like you said.... wobbly and J had to walk away from a cigarette smoker outside... I did bug it was close call so I posted here. Pigs are guarded so is my quit. Just feel wobbly and after my 3 months I got wobbly and pulled thru but today I got so wobbly even my NOPE almost wasn't enough but it brought me here kicking and screaming... I want a fag... but didn't cave. Close close call.

please don´t be mad. i had to sos to choose safey for my quit

Sorry. sorry sorry. I need to SOS have a huge craving after some posts where I seem to start thinking, the fell back. Why not one why not get an dmn excuse and screw my quit. it seems its normal, in those topics it seems normal to get a set back so why not that little tiny smoke i try to be NOPE I just need to vent. I´m not angry at anyone I just feel screwed by people i live with. there is no freakin´ excuse for lighting one so i won´t i justhad to vent im pissed off people get away with scrweing the rules even not smokingin the livingroom. And I got the idea which is of course never anyones intention it´s normal to relapse after aview months!!! I´m so sad for Jess, and I´m so pissed off, i needed to post an sos i felt pulled in two direction shutting up and give myself space to relapse or post HERE!! Even if it´s stupid thoughts and junkie thinking. I HATE SMOKING. Ok tears falling from my face, thank you for listining and sorry i had to post an sos, i just needed it. i do need it. Now kick under my ass NOT ONE PUFF EVER no discussion possible. I feel such a looser, saying such tough love to others and collapsing myself. Guess too many emotions build up, too many smoking triggers and onehuge craving I am not gonna smoke.

Awesome job!

Awesome!! Congratulations

(Jess I copied this from another topic) I suspect my hotspot CAN be orCAN NOT BE september, my crap and bull month, new season change, bleh but WHY keep a quit for nine months, standing strong and that throw it away like ash. I think and maybe I'm a bitch but it's really bull to loose your quit at that point, I felt agrivvated in Jess topic. Will there be wobbly days Teary AND JESS hell yeah but I don't care how crap i feel i rather break down the house so to speak then to light one. Am I tempted oh yeah I live amung smokers, breathe their smoke and discovered today an asswhole also smokes in the livingroom at nights which makes me pissed off like f it!!! Am I having junkie thinking yup, pity smokers (yeah even let them buy smokes from my money) BUT I rather do a lot of others nasty things before I smoke. If I use it as an excuse for my mental health problems I'd never be able to quit, so do I occasionally harm myself yeah, do I throw mugs thru the room, yeah, cry? Yeah Yell, scream all of that YEAH!!!! BUT NO DAMN SMOKING! If I EVER light sneaky one I'm back to squere one with excuses and pity for myself. I'm a tough lovenow yeah but also for myself. Don't worry about my SH it's rare but it's to show that I rather pt one cut then EVER light one. Scars heal. Lungs are forever practicly damaged. I hope I don't get misunderstood I never encourage someone to cut or ANYTHING if they have that problem but for me it works this way and I accept it and even if I ha'n't quit it would be like this anyway :) PLEASE I'm giving an example of how hard I draw the line no matter what; NOPE no matter what!!! I'm a more ballanced yeah, wiser, yeah, less stinky ;) yeah, a tough love b*tch who starts to gets resemblings of St. and Bakon, yeah. BUT THATS WHAT addiction NEEDS! Do I care for you Jess and TEW yea a lot. I hope did the right thing posting this and sorry it got so personal but it's my way of explaining how deep you need to draw the line in the sand smoker / no smoker!!! Okay I really feel now like I'm gonna hurt someones feelings and I hope people, anyone who needs this post can look further then the kick under the *ss because for real I AM CARING and trying to HELP I want to add, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, dust yourself off, ask yourself is you are ready to quit and what do you need... (((safe hugs)))

I'm gonna copy and paste this to Jess' topic because I want to help her :)

I suspect my hotspot CAN be orCAN NOT BE september, my crap and bull month, new season change, bleh but WHY keep a quit for nine months, standing strong and that throw it away like ash. I think and maybe I'm a bitch but it's really bull to loose your quit at that point, I felt agrivvated in Jess topic. Will there be wobbly days Teary AND JESS hell yeah but I don't care how crap i feel i rather break down the house so to speak then to light one. Am I tempted oh yeah I live amung smokers, breathe their smoke and discovered today an asswhole also smokes in the livingroom at nights which makes me pissed off like f it!!! Am I having junkie thinking yup, pity smokers (yeah even let them buy smokes from my money) BUT I rather do a lot of others nasty things before I smoke. If I use it as an excuse for my mental health problems I'd never be able to quit, so do I occasionally harm myself yeah, do I throw mugs thru the room, yeah, cry? Yeah Yell, scream all of that YEAH!!!! BUT NO DAMN SMOKING! If I EVER light sneaky one I'm back to squere one with excuses and pity for myself. I'm a tough lovenow yeah but also for myself. Don't worry about my SH it's rare but it's to show that I rather pt one cut then EVER light one. Scars heal. Lungs are forever practicly damaged. I hope I don't get misunderstood I never encourage someone to cut or ANYTHING if they have that problem but for me it works this way and I accept it and even if I ha'n't quit it would be like this anyway :) PLEASE I'm giving an example of how hard I draw the line no matter what; NOPE no matter what!!! I'm a more ballanced yeah, wiser, yeah, less stinky ;) yeah, a tough love b*tch who starts to gets resemblings of St. and Bakon, yeah. BUT THATS WHAT addiction NEEDS! Do I care for you Jess and TEW yea a lot. I hope did the right thing posting this and sorry it got so personal but it's my way of explaining how deep you need to draw the line in the sand smoker / no smoker!!! Okay I really feel now like I'm gonna hurt someones feelings and I hope people, anyone who needs this post can look further then the kick under the *ss because for real I AM CARING and trying to HELP

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE

Oh nothing special just a small yin yang for my necklace. as a symbole of wanting to be in balance

Okay no yoga today, no puffer, toolittle time to arrange the f it little things had to cancel, okay next wedneysday new oppurtuniy: my asthma is pretty bad without that extra morning puff despite being smokefree for 7 months. Let's move on for today. Therapy today too, and I keep my finger crossed I find my ordered tiny pendant in the mail :D

NOPE :D

That's large my asthma puff is delayed in mail. But I still go to yoga.. tomorrow I'll puff my other one 2 times extra which is allowed and I'm gonna kick ass in yoga class with healthy smoke free lungs okay first class but hey you gotta start somewhere

Take away the J and O and replace it with just one is no option. Don't make that stinking fag big. Don't let it get big hun.