Evelyn

Read your post, Bakon. True. I honestly struggle with my guilt. It is correct IF i count 10 months, it isn't undone. I think I need a lessonin self care and LEARNING I did from my bump in the road... And... and... and... no more and or buts. I believe you are right. If I celebrate 1 year in short 2 months I am allowed to do so, it's about the accomplishment, the lesson was tough and no matter what I DID it. The only conclusion I can definetly add is that that one really is a myth and NEVER worth lighting up for. D*amn how can a human being be so friggin complicated. It's nomore or less then what I wrote above and that's it. No more self punishisch and guilt. :D

Babs hun sit ups and leg raises I get but crunches and plank... uhuh what's that

Babs I just hug you

Yeah but can't lie or cheat.

Maybe I'm to hard of a bitch to myself. I did smoke. I feel cheating. I may no be new quiter but i do have to start from zero. So then don't congratulate me if I again have 3 weeks or 5 months. I'm not gonna lie to myself.

I am not 2 weeks quit. I HAVE this 10 months and I am celebrating. Screwed 3 days up? Then my lido denk arrival will be 25 December. If you're married, and you have a fight and leave eachother 3 days the marriage isn't over, right? My freedom life is NOT thrown away. I am still married. With my 3 Guinea pigs. Oh did I mention I LOVE you guys? And YOU Bakon, again let me look through some other glasses. Thank you, I might swear at you in the near future outta frustration but you seemingly are right. That's kinda creepy...

Thanks, for the support. The kicks the hugs. Am I realy worth saying 10 months and 5 days? Maybe I am... I don't FEEL being back to square 1. I ****** up big time 2 weeks ago, smokes and yes cuts. There's no snowflakes in that just feeling I should punish myself for my failure so maybe looking it the other way and say ók i ****** up but I did not throw away my 10 months is a conquer OVER that 3 screwed days. I wish I knew how to anticipate BEFORE. Oh I am so angry for &*^$ I can't undo it, I can only look forward and anticipate differently NEXT time. Honestly should I set my ticker to 10 months?

You have pm bakon

NOPE

I understand your logic porky. Just I fell and I can't prove more then what I'm doing now. Getting back on the train. I'm not gonna try explain how complicated my life is but I DID get up. And I made it 2 weeks. Bakon you've got this fantasy idea of me being this sup human well. I have posted a view struggles and they ARE real. You think it's crap. You find emotions psyche are shit. Well not to me. And shit on me, for some people the world is not the way you see it. I quit here and now but do not judge my life until you walked my shoes.

Thank you sunny

It was on the calendar Nancy

Taken back

Thanks friends

thanks jimmy

And I should be proud even if I THINK others don't notice. I notice and that matters. I worked for it and am proud and sorry and my apologizes for the drama. I KNOW you all appreciate my input and are proud. Just had to stop doubting myself and be proud at MYSELF

Thank you I'm just oversensitive maybe, means a lot :D

Nevermind just would have appreciated it

.

NOPE

Exactly, quiting everybody can but stay quit takes you to go thru hell and back, smelling the smoke without ligthing

Well I rarely think of smoking. Even after my relapse 2 weeks ago, i had9 months. Got it. Just NOW I'm more aware of the monster lying in the grass. Will you get days you con't think of smoking YES, just keep an eye out for junkie thinking (which occurs easier when drinking)

Asswhole, ok, dick too, you are no window licker as you DID NOT light but what lesson have you learned? No drinkin' for now

YOU bakon cannot join go lay under a beertap, open your mouth and fill up