Evelyn

I quit coffee 3 days ago :)

... For your support, prayers and listening ears. Hugs

Thanks Saz, working on it

Working my ass of Door. Thank you for your prayers hugs love you hun

I never meant to tell. But you asked, Saz... How I was doing. I've never been more lone

Right now I live for today Tiff. I try not to fall apart

Em, bad. Not good, besides the smoking but that's not my worry I ended up in the ER with OD, em two days ago and got send away after stabalised and drowsy and still sui. No meds yesterday accept one I didn't take to much I stalked my psych and the drugstore to get things fixed. Haven't slepped at all maybe 4 hours which is way to less while I usually take 10 or 11 hours. I'm having a temperature dunno why. And crying my eyes out. IF all things go right tomorrow I can start my meds again and Friday I have all my usual meds but the drugstore and my psych have made a lot of mistakes nad my psych is Friday leaving for vacation. He's has no back up. I'm burned up. Tired, feel like crap and in withdrawls and I'm not sui right now. But still switching from depressed, to angry to extreme hurt and sadness. That;s where I am at. I'm so tired and burned up I can hardly get bread for myself in the store. Nothing that you can do, but pray. That's what keeps e going now, my faith. I've never been so low

NOPE

I will. Another brand new day

Threw them out :)

Finished my last 7 November will be my first smokefree day

Unfortanatly I smoked.

I know that is why I'm posting. I can flee, betraye myself and all of you. I won't. I'll fight.

... My hearts ripped into pieces. And it would be so easy so walk out, buy a pack and light one... but I say NOPE. Please let me, rant shout... I miss my mom so, so badly. Would she be proud? From where I come from? I feel like crying, but I gasp for air. I do not c*t or smoke... I write, I cry. Lord Jesus please soften my mourning, I do not want to give in and be a victim, not any more. I needed to post this, to reach out. NOPE, no excuses, no crap. No matter what - NOPE! I am worth it.

Marlene I'm close to 48 hours and I'm really could sobb my eyes out. Or eat furniture (or candy) but I won't caz sweets only makes it worse so I bought a new Christmas tree (I'm Christmas freak around here) and I was able to smoke 2 packs in 24 and a half hours two days ago: BUT I stick with NOPE

1 1/2 day black on track

And I'm off. NOPE!

Yeah, or suffocating because I NEED a cancerstick so bad. Oh I have sinnutus and a cold. ;) good luck, and I'm glad I do not crave at all for cigs

I'm here first thing in the morning... To stick with NOPE Because smoking doesn't help at all. And right now I've a crappie night behind But NOPE

Tears in my eyes Mq you are so right it didn't help at all.

I failed today. Too much hurt. we prayed and feel worth and have courage. So NOPE And:

Today is the 4th, have you quit? I know what it is to be left with an empty heart :)

I feel like eating the furniture *hungry*