Evelyn

I'm so emotional. And so pissed off at my body. I'm pissed off enough to go downstairs and light a cigarette at my neighbor. But I won't I'm obstinate and feel like raging. Thin ice here. It's that I don't want to quit all over again. So I won't fall for my own excuses. But boy wish I could cry on someones shoulder.

I feel awfull. Completely drained. Tired so easily. With cold sores. Tomorrow I have to do bloodwork. Since I was on the ICU after an overdose (that was when i was away) and got admitted in the mental clinic... I started to get more tired... first had to recover from my OD and after going back to my old schedule of meds I first experienced lots of tiredness as a side-effect. That's gone now. I don't nap anymore... but whenever I do something I end up drained. I'm tired, feel screwed and keep in the back of my head it miight be lymes disease, whicj I got antibiotics for. I'm done with feeling so through and fighting every day (not suicidal) but I'd sure fancy a cigarette. The excuses go round in my head and I just need to vent. I hate it my body seems to let me down... I'm tired, emotionally and physically. And I'll say NOPE but I'm very tempted.

in the pocket

NOPE

NOPE

Morning, it's a NOPE

Forgot to NOPE

NOPE, a little late but ok

NOPE

NOPE for today

Am in my bed going to read a book. My neighbor surprised me with a visit but I didn't ask cigarettes

Just had a hell of a day, emotional flashbacks and relivings from my trauma childhood. THIS used to be the reason I caved often. Not now :)

Not going to die the same way my parents did (lungcancer)

Today I will not smoke NOT ONE PUFF EVER, just for today.

Pigs are fine, better then me actually.

I'm an emotional mess and when that happened I tend to crave cigarettes. Close to caving in. I can handle being at my smoking (no longer drinking) neibhbor and her visiting me but NOW I'm having flashbacks and emotional a wreck and I do not want to to blow my quit although 11 September isn't really the best quitdate (that's an excuse you see) with 9/11/2001 I feel like screaming, cried my eyes out and although I have my one week anniversery, I 'd almost go to the store for those bloody fags. Writing is good. Keeps me occupied from smoking.

NOPE

Been away a while... long story. Made some bad decisions not only about smoking. Back on track...

NOPE

NOPE for me

NOPE

And I say a huge NOPE

And I say a huge NOPE

Awesome job, way to go; congratulations

I'm going for NOPE today, who's with me