KEL

Welcome. It does get easier. Stick around, read everything you can. Just about any smoking related (or other issue) has been processed on this forum. There is no judgment only a group of folks who, like you, are (were) totally hooked on this deadly addiction. Glad you are here.

Whew. I always think it is good when this stuff comes up in dreams. Its there anyway so best to process in the dream-time as opposed to actually smoking.

I can't relate to the pressure to quit by an external source because that was not my experience. My motivation was that I wanted to feel better, to not be a slave to a substance. I knew that it was never going to be an easy process but dying from smoking was going to be worse. I would think that having a partner who wants you to stick around could be a huge help in a quit, especially if you can communicate openly and honestly about it. This is a drug addiction; no different from heroin or meth. We are junkies and the process of recovery is oftentimes long and winding. The problem is that everyone pays the price for our addiction. Its horrible to watch someone suffer and die under any circumstances. In some ways, the guilt for EVERYONE involved is worse when its death/disease from an addiction because somehow we see this as a "choice." None of us smoked by choice. Rather our brains have been so destroyed by the nicotine that we told ourselves we chose to smoke when the reality was we were addicted. We have all of the information. I don't think anyone "chooses" to get lung cancer or COPD or emphysema. So if we are still smoking its because we are addicted. And so long as we are putting that drug into our system, we don't have any choice.

Yes, thank you. It really helps us keep on keeping on.

NOPE

@GusI know what you meant but I am going to posit something different: The "worst" is dying of this addiction. Withdrawal (at least that is how Allen Carr hooked it up) is the release of the disease-a cause for celebration! We have to be willing to go through the discomfort to get to the other side. Sending love and blessings to everyone on the QT tonight.

It looks like you have been here before @Kdad, maybe a few times? Like all of us? I am attending on line support meetings (Nicotine Anonymous). You may find the fellowship helpful. I certainly am and if I needed any impetus to quit, its understanding that it doesn't get any easier and becomes seriously fatal. Here's the link: http://www.voicesofnicotinerecovery.com. Hope to see you there.

@KdadWelcome and congratulations! It is hard until it isn't. It stays hard as long as we keep using nicotine. Once you get through the withdrawal, life takes on a different glow. In terms of help, read everything on the site. Drink lots and lots of water. Distract yourself mentally by doing whatever it is that you can to occupy yourself. I worked out a lot, cleaned and stuck close to the QT. I made flashcards to remind myself of why I was quitting and to remind myself all I was giving up was an early death. Keep reaching out and, whatever you do, do not smoke. That just starts the whole darn thing all over again. Karen

Nicely done! Keep clearing the way-right behind you!

@GusYou are sweet and I am grateful for you too! I have to keep reminding myself that it takes what it takes. I am (WE ARE) so lucky to be here today. I get caught up in my everyday BS (can anyone relate?) and I keep forgetting that it is a MIRACLE I am not smoking today. And it is a MIRACLE that I have not had to smoke for 128 days. This is the longest I have gone without nicotine (in any form) since 1999. I don't really crave it anymore but I am super mindful of the danger my crappy thinking can get me into. Done it enough times over my smoking history and, as we know, this elevator only going one way (DOWN).

NOPE

@jillarThank you for sharing that. I suppose I am a bit naive. I remember my grandad had a hole in his neck, likely from smoking. But I was only 9 at the time. In my AA meetings over the years, I don't meet end-stage alcoholics as they are usually pickled in the brain. So it is a shock for me to really get what this disease does. Sorry-its just a visceral yuck with a side of sorrow. Blessings to everyone no matter where they are on their quit journey.

So many celebrations of smo-briety today, especially @AceWhite and a 1-year quit! I needed the positivity. Was in an online meeting this morning (NicA). Started out with lots of laughter and hope. Then three people in desperate straights spoke, one right after the other. All headed (shortly) for death as a result of this f-cking addiction. Only thing we all could do was pray for peace and ease on their journey. All three still smoking with end-stage diagnoses. As heavy as this is, as sad as I feel for fellow sufferers, I am very grateful to be a witness to this horror, so very grateful to everyone on the QT, and so very grateful I have my seat today.

congratulations! you are inspiring....

NOPE

What everyone else said. We all have those "special" places (and spaces) that are our relapse triggers. If we didn't, quitting would be easy and its just not. We are addicts. Nicotine has been our go-to to handle all of life's emotions, many of us for decades. The more practice we have dealing with tough situations WITHOUT SMOKING, the easier our life smoke-free becomes. And, in truth, smoking actually makes those tough situations far worse. This is a deadly addiction-there is no way out other than death. I, for one, am not ready to cash it in today and I do like my life more now that I do not smoke.

Ah. Well, relapse is a part of recovery. At least you are here....

Way to go! Glad you are here.

NOPE.

@JudiMDWelcome and you are in my prayers for an easy surgery and successful recovery! It takes what it takes. You are here now and I, for one, am glad.

@SunnysideI agree with everyone about the coffee but I've not given it up. I switch to caffeine-free tea in the afternoons and evenings. There are some lovely brands out there now. It satisfies the ritual of making something and a warm cup to occupy the hands. Godspeed all on the Train!

NOPE.

NOPE.

Yeah we do appreciate the support. And one thing I have learned from being around the "rooms" of recovery for several decades is the best way to protect your sobriety (or smobriety!) is to pay it forward. I had a ten year quit once. It was seamless. Then life happened. Its an interesting thing about prison: some of us feel safer there than in the freedom. Maybe its because we have to take responsibility on the outside? Not sure where that came from but having spent quite a bit of time in prisons (teaching/AA), I can say without a doubt that I do not want to go there again. Or if I do, want to be able to walk out those doors under my own steam. I think I'll stay on the train!

@SunnysideI was never an MJ smoker (I drank and snorted other things though). I have heard people claim smoking MJ helped them quit cigarettes. However, for me it would be too close to the ritual of smoking tobacco. I would think it all has to go. And probably a crappy analogy but I used to drink fake booze in my first years in recovery. Now I have no interest in it but it did help for awhile. It wasn't mood altering though and MJ is so.... But it matters not. The experiment is over. Hopefully the consequences are minimal for great wisdom. Thank you for sharing it with us-our junkie mind is way sneaky.