KEL

Sending wishes for (speedier!) recovery....

Found this while poking around on Joel's YouTube channel and felt it was worth posting. I am sure he won't mind.... The Smoker's Vow By Joel Spitzer To be said just before taking your first puff after having quit for any appreciable period of time: With this puff I enslave myself to a lifetime of addiction. While I can't promise to always love you, I do promise to obey every craving and support my addiction to you no matter how expensive you become. I will let no husband or wife, no family member or friend, no doctor or any other health professional, no employer or government policy, no burns or no stench, no cough or raspy voice, no cancer or emphysema, no heart attack or stroke, no threat of loss of life or limbs, come between us. I will smoke you forever from this day forth, for better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part! "You may now light the cigarette." "I now pronounce you a full-fledged smoker."

NOPE

Me too. But remember, this is what I HEARD. I am sharing this to demonstrate how tricky our junkie mind can be. My experience of this doctor is that he is wholly loving and kind. So its out of character and maybe that is just what part of me WANTED to hear? Maybe it was just to get me to think about how grateful I am that I quit and how many blessings flow from that choice? Don't know. But what I do know is that the demon is rearing its ugly head and its not a frontal assault. So I remain vigilant.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist to help with some issues unrelated to smoking cessation. We were talking today and he said, "I just hope you didn't quit smoking in order to punish yourself further." I explained that smoking had "turned" on me and quitting was the best thing I had done for myself. Even though it seemed to serve as a consolation for so many years and I quit during a really challenging time on all levels of my existence, I now understood how it actually made the challenges worse. I am sharing this as it could have gone in the direction of justifying picking up again, i.e. "well, my doctor (and he is an MD) thinks that I might have quit too soon so maybe I should pick up again so I won't feel so 'punished.'" I did ask him whether he had ever smoked. He said he tried but it "didn't take." He followed up with, "I can see how quitting would give you a sense of accomplishment." Oh and last night I had smoking dreams all night! Seems I am still subconsciously romancing the smoke. I am sharing this with my QT buddies to keep myself completely honest in my addiction. Thank you for listening-blessings to all for a peaceful and smoke-free day. K

I did for a bit. However, I preferred the gum. And greatly prefer nothing as I think it gets us out of the nicotine loop faster. Blessing to you.

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What they said. It does get easier but it won't so long as we cave to the crave. Have patience with yourself. Know and trust that it will pass. I think we can trust @jillar and @Doreensfree on that score. I am experiencing much more freedom these days so I can safely represent that. But I don't know (yet) what it feels like to be fully out of the woods. I am very vigilant. Spent about an hour on here just looking at relapse stories. Not sure why but I am really grateful for those who posted. Keeps me honest. Thank you everyone-hope your day(s) are going well!

Staying busy AND productive does help. Not only does it distract us from the craving but we begin to feel better about ourselves. I'm glad you are doing well!

Congratulations. That is amazing.

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@JohnRPolitoThank you. I appreciate your insight and really grateful you are taking the time to help those of us in the early stages. Karen

That's positively frightening.

I admire your tenacity and willingness. Sending prayers for strength and determination your way.

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Congratulations! Hope your day is wonderful. Thanks for being here.

Congratulations! It just keeps getting better....

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That is truly amazing. Yes, there will be challenging days ahead. But, IMHO, getting a week down especially because it can be so challenging makes us really want to keep going. And every day, no matter how tough, is better without smoking!

@KrisCongratulations! I am hoping the gifts of quitting are making their way to you. I know its been a tough road but you haven't given up and have been an inspiration to a lot of people here, including me. Thank you-sending love and blessings your way for a wonderful day and continued FREEDOM!

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@SunshineValerian is an herb you can get in any health-food store and online. It smells something awful but it sure does work to help with consistent sleep absent the drug component which you don't really want to do. I started taking it when I first got sober and go through stages but it always helps to regulate my sleep. Guided meditation is a good one-I like Kelly Howell (she is on YouTube).

That is the spirit! Pretty soon you will be on the Lido deck with @Gus!

You stayed the course. Such an inspiration. Thank you Gus!