intoxicated yoda

sorry Leroy, elk's easy prey garth

I can't tell though...all I see is burgers and ribeyes

so that's everything

Alicia

i was about that high today!

dusty albino youths

Spano's a ninja

xavier steak

-8

@Kris We will get through this. One of the the problems that I have is that I'm more of a loner and one of the worst things you can do when dealing with addiction is to isolate yourself. As we go through this journey we can start finding out who we really are without the nicotine and start becoming the people other people would enjoy being around. But for right now, I feel your pain in that I really don't want to have to pretend to be sociable right now so meeting new people and making new friends in the real world probably isn't an option for me. Good luck and congrats again on your 4 months.

Thanks for the info. and the conversation. this always seems to be a tough part of the day. maybe that will help me sleep

It's good to have people like you to constantly let people like me know that at some point in time it will be worth it. For that, I thank you. These nightly posts are really just me rallying the troops. Sometimes the troops are just me. Sometimes the troops are lots of people, then I take my medication and it's just me again. LMAO...don't where that came from but I thought it was funny. BTW...will weed through me off track or do you know? or maybe even throw me off track?

silent rants evolve

hoses carry water

most of the time, it takes a lot of years to become an overnight success. i stole that from someone who is much smarter than I, but I hope it's true in this case. I still wonder sometimes why I'm putting myself through this misery. I look at my ticker and think wow, it feels like it was a lifetime ago since i had a cigarette and I'm not even at 2 months yet. I could make a case that the whole physical part being over after 72 hours is a load of shit then I think to myself does it matter? A friend of mine told me that the cravings I have now are only psychological and my response was whoopty-*******-doo. So what do you do about it? Same thing you do when they aren't psychological. You bitch moan complain eat and get fat as shit. So the question is does it matter? I don't think it does. Physical or psychological it's still the same grind. Now the purpose of me writing this is that when I'm at 5 years i can look back and see what an asshole I was going thru the darkness. I do see how people fail though. This daily battle of beating the cravings can and does wear you down. Then I get the advice of don't use will power. That's something I still don't understand and don't think I ever will. What the hell else is there? You want something, you crave it even, but you tell yourself no and stick to it. That's willpower. That's all we got. If you're struggling like this know that you aren't alone. Some people claim that quitting is easy and I'm happy for them, I ****ing hate them right now, but I'm still happy for them. And just because if I were to find out that their dog shit in their mouth while they were asleep I'd laugh like hell doesn't mean I want that to happen them even though I really do. It's more just me wondering what's wrong with me that makes me miss it so much. Maybe I'm defective...."maybe I can't become invisible at all!!!" That's from the movie Mystery Men. Funniest movie ever made in my opinion, but I digress...where was I, oh yeah, something about sleeping dogs and mouthwash or whatever. Crap, now I totally forgot what I was going to say next. Anyway, for the rest of us addicts that have to scratch and claw until our fingers are bloody stumps just to gain a little bit of ground in this battle for what the hell ever we were doing it for...don't give up. Don't ever give up because somewhere out there is a dick that wants us to fail and there will be nothing sweeter than for all of us to collectively piss in that MF'ers eye when we succeed. Y'all have a blessed and peaceful night.

Do you care?

tacos do tempt

Awesome job Kris. Much respect to you!!

For all you addicts out there that racked up another day of going smokeless, congratulations. You have my love, respect and support. If you stumbled today you have my love, respect and support. And if you get back on the train tomorrow I bow to the strength of your resolve. Where ever you are be of good cheer, for it may be true that misery loves company, it's also true that the company can't get away from the miserable fast enough. Have a great night all. Stay strong and stay free.

the breathing exercise I do 2 parts: 1st part...take 3 long slow deep breaths and on the 3rd breath hold it for as long as you can. Ideally you want try to hold it long enough that it takes 15 or seconds to fully recover. once you recovered fully do 2nd part...place the palms of you hands together chest high so you can isometrically press them together. Again, take 3 long slow deep breaths and on the 3rd exhale, completely empty your lungs and press your palms together as hard as you can and hold your breath with the lungs empty for as long as possible. Ideally when you inhale you want to have held it long enough it makes you gasp for air. I just kind of dove into this but it might make sense to ease yourself into these and see how you react. 40% of the time it works everytime for killing cravings

I like this one for bed time. I switch between a few different ones but I think i like this one the most

I'll post some links to some videos i use to try and convince myself that I don't smoke and that it smells horrible even tho I still like the smell of a cigarette. Don't try to figure it out, I'm really screwed up in the head. Here's the first one. I use this one in the mornings and during the day when I have time.

staying late then

been somewhat bitchy