intoxicated yoda

@Lindayou are doing great as well my dear. I feel honored to be following in the path of such magnificence and success. Cheers to the both of us and may your quit always be 7 months longer than mine!!

3. Cracks

1. Screen protector

Good Evening addicts...it's story time again and yes, yoda is once again Andy DuFresne, belly crawling through a tube of shit towards freedom. Funny thing about being in a crap filled pipe where there is no light, no clean water and putrid smells, when you do get a whiff of fresh air it stands out and makes a mark on your psyche. And I did get a whiff of that fresh air today. It didn't last long but it was a good sign...a welcome sign, like Noah having a bird return with an olive branch in it's beak. I don't know where or how this part of the journey ends but I know the end is out there somewhere and I have more than just hope now. I just gotta keep crawling until I get to it. Which brings me to the point of this installment of Yoda's bed time story...does anyone know what the stats are on relapses as in what is the most common length of time someone quits then relapses? Is it 2 months, 6 months, a year? Just curious because even though we are all different we are all the same. If there is a common thread in a relapse tied to how long someone has been quit there may lie some answers not only about the addiction itself but also about the psyche of man. I figure if we are all going through this maybe we can do something even larger. Don't get me wrong, I do so love to piss and moan about the struggle of quitting and some of the references I make humor me to no end. (i write these posts for my own entertainment, if any of you enjoy them that's even better but when I write them they are for me.) The real reason is to analyze what is taking place in my own mind and the associated physical response. So, let's say someone has been quit for 6 months and doing quite well, then all of the sudden they get an attack of severe cravings. Five minutes goes by and the craving is still there. Hours and then days pass and the cravings just keep coming like the wave of a tsunami. What causes that? I has to be more than just mental or emotional. I mean, after 6 months the nicotine is gone and most of the neurological pathways should be repaired. Even after 2 months I have days that aren't so bad, like today, but I know by reading some of the posts on here that even 10 months or a year out people can get overwhelmed with a crave. So what is taking place? Why would the mind try to trick the body back into the trap? Or is it something from the body triggering the mind? I'm probably just overthinking this whole thing but I'm really wanting to be able at some point to quit quitting and start just being quit. I don't want to be the guy living in a constant state of denial. I want to be done with the demon sticks once and for all and right in this very moment I'm just not sure how to get there. Regardless, the goal is still to become a non smoker. Not just an ex smoker, but a new person that has never smoked. If I can make the memory of the old person disappear then the vices of that old person should disappear as well. I'll try and meditate on that this weekend, in the meantime I should probably try to not sleep to a marathon of Joe Dispenza videos. But that idea that you can reprogram yourself into whatever you want to be intrigues me and I don't see why there can't be a formula to reprogram the smoker right the hell out of all of us. And I'm not talking about cheating the system but understanding the system and using its full potential. Anyway, I've finally gotten around to asking the question to the universe and all of you who read this. I'll patiently wait for the answers I'm looking for and pray for wisdom to not reject the answers if they aren't what I want. I'm sorry for rambling so much and damn was I all over the place this evening. Good night addicts. I do love all of you here and appreciate the interactions.

7. chewing gum

1. make up

7. sticks

5 lawn furniture

3. Leaves

1. snakes...

6. insulation

4. water tank

2. cobwebs

@Linda Man...seeing that gif makes me realize how much smoking has stunted my growth and prematurely aged me.

8. umbrella in the crawl space

3. pet dishes

5. a tractor

-12

2. hay

cause we are born. why does the world turn?

wolves often overrun feral spaces cling

3. moles

1. hair

6. shelves

4. linens