JustinHoot99

Sorry to worry anyone. My son, girlfriend, daughter, and SIL were in town for over a week. Turned off my quit site so no one could see the site on the computer (remember son and daughter don't know I smoked). Having so many people around all the time definitely helped control the cravings. Just like with having my wife keep my keys hidden, it really helps control the urges knowing if I smoked, I would come home and people would be able to tell I was smoking. I'm 2 days past my longest period of not smoking. Hurray. Still having memories and triggers though.

Is it true demonic spirits try to steal your soul in no mans land?

Day 32. (180.2) Today I enter the period many refer to as no mans land. I've seen varying dates but generally its referred to as the first few months after month 1. I think of it as the period where the initial excitement of quitting (meme celebrations every couple days, telling your friends, etc) wears down and you just face your life w/o cigarettes. There will still be plenty of triggers/reminders as you continue relearning to do normal activities w/o cigarettes. My plan for getting through this month is: 1) Continue having wife hide the keys during the week. I'm going to keep them Fri evening - Sun evening. Towards the latter part of this month, I will start adding days that I keep them during the week. This is my version of NRT and seems to be working. Plus I'm saving a lot on gas since I ride my bike more. 2) Continue posting a lot. It's my therapy.

Day 31. Made it. Tomorrow I enter no mans land.

Huge congrats on 8 days. I'm at 30 days. For me, the weeks after week 1 have been a turmoil of ups and downs. It's gotten easier to manage after this period, but the cravings or at least "reminders popping up in my head" are still there. So many things I need to relearn to do w/o a smoke. But it can be done and you can get a lot of support here. There are a lot of long term quitters here who will help. Post as often as you like. Often times I will come here and just type something up just to distract myself. It really helps.

Day 30. Wife is still out of town. For some reason, just knowing she will smell check me whenever I return home makes it easier to avoid cravings. Look forward to her return tomorrow. But I'm still enjoying smoke free days.

Day 29. Join me in a smoke free day.

Thanks everyone. I shall celebrate this but celebrate again after 31 days. I can use all the celebrations I can get.

Only from Ace. lol I am under an incredible amount of stress. I have to prepare my own meals for 4 days which hardly seems reasonable. Fortunately, I bought and 8 piece Kroger chicken meal, and my wife made 6 hard boiled eggs and precooked 5 lbs of bacon, + backed chicken for my lunch wraps, so I probably won't starve. I will have to do all the dishes myself. lol

The junkie part of my head could use that.

Day 28. My wife leaves today and will be gone till Friday. My keys will be hidden the entire time. Of course, my junkie mind is working double time. Only a 20min ride to gas station. It would feel so good. Just this once, or maybe just once a month, or only when wife is away on trip. No one would know. It would just be a hiccup, temporary set back, or minor relapse. It wouldn't be a failure cause I would learn something. If you only smoke a few, you could just keep counting up, no need to start at 0 day again. If you smoked, you would be so mad you would never want to smoke again. Blah, blah, blah. It never reminds me how depressed I am when I give in and break my quit. Or how the soonest I have ever had the strength to try another quit has been 6 months and all the other times has been over a year. Or how smoking "just this once" will mean at least 7000 more cigarettes and $5000 wasted. Must remember. 1=ALL. I either smoke none, or I smoke 1 pack/day. The word "just" never applies to an addiction. OK, I'm ready to face the day.

10 pts. This show is a classic amongst classics. More quotes come from this movie than any other, including office space.

Thanks everyone. I knew everyone has experienced all the junkie thoughts I experience, but there is something about hearing/reading others state they had the same thoughts that is incredibly powerful. Sometimes you just need to be told you are not alone even when you are in a crowded room. I shall endeavor to persevere. (10pts for the one who can tell me what movie that phrase is from.)

Day 27. I need to let my thoughts meander. I must admit I was having some urges last night. Not to go smoke right then, but brain kept dropping ideas regarding how I could sneak in a smoke w/o anyone knowing. My brain is using that "nobody will know" logic on me. It started yesterday afternoon when I took some old landscape wood from my home to the park to get rid of it. Now dumping wood at the park is illegal of course. But this is a wooded disc golf course park and I've spent over 500 hrs volunteering to build the course, which includes burning over 100 piles of wood. I dropped the wood in a spot I will be burning more trees and brush, so it will be gone soon. Anyways, burning piles of wood there is an activity I associate w/ smoking. I would get to the park around 5am, start a fire, and work till noon, clearing and burning. That alone was very peaceful and enjoyable. But I would also get a lot of cigarette breaks. Physical activity out in the woods plus plenty of cigarette breaks. I admit it was quite enjoyable. But dumping the landscape wood got me thinking of burning (which I havent needed to burn anything in about 3 months) and strongly triggered the urge to smoke. Nobody would know, right? And I would come come stinking of burning wood so my wife would not smell the cigarette smoke. And then I would be done until the next time I burned wood. I could just do this once a month. That would be the rule. Only once a month, or maybe only when I burned. Of course, I've been down this "just once a month" and "nobody would know" road umpteen thousand times and it always fails. One = All. That is the one truth my brain always wants to either forget, downplay, or ignore. I can not have "just one". I can not smoke, just once a month. It is as impossible to smoke just "now and then" or "only when I burn brush". One = All. I must not forget that.

Day 26. Join me in a smoke free day. I'm driving to the woods in a bit for my workout. Naturally my brain reminds me I don't have any cigarettes and I should stop by the gas station and get some because I always smoke before the w/o to get me motivated.

Well, I had to google that one. Guess I'm a new moon to new moon kind of guy. But what the heck, I'll take celebrations whenever I can find them.

I'm excited. But I'm celebrating my 1 month quit based off of a full 31 days. So I will celebrate Mar 31. I will not be celebrating w/ a smoke however, no matter how many times my junkie brain suggests that is a good idea. lol

Today is day 25. In only 6 days, I will get my "1 month" token. Obviously, every day not smoking is a win. But we celebrate these "special" days to keep our spirits up and give ourselves a little boost. I have a major challenge to face which is being alone for 4 days starting in 3 days. I'll have 0 access to my car during that time to ensure getting access to cigarettes is as inconvenient as I can make it. And obviously I'll be here getting support. Hope everyone has a smoke free day today.

I've been brainstorming:

Day 24. Wife announced she is going to visit our daughter next Monday which is 5 hrs away and she will be gone till Thur. That leaves me most of 4 days alone. I have to admit that makes me nervous. Of course, I will have her leave my car keys hidden while she is gone. But it's not impossible for me to access cigarettes, just inconvenient. It's a good 1.5mi bike ride which I can easily do. My mind is already coming up w/ excuses, trying to negotiate, and looking for compromises as to how I could smoke and not affect my quit. You know, that junkie part of your brain that tries to get you to ignore truth and logic. You wish it would just shut up and forget that you ever smoked, but that trail is already beat down solid in your brain. It may get overgrown w/ brush through time, but it's always going to be there. So next week will actually be my first real challenge. Just have to remember that 1 cigarette would come w/ the 7000 others I would smoke over the next year.

Dat was a cute one.

#8 on the top 10 reasons to stop smoking. You get a lot of cool memes sent to you.

Day 23.

I'm an engineer. My wife says engineers are weird. Probably some truth to that. When we got married, the preacher required you have one counseling discussion w/ her before she would marry you. One of the questions she asked was "How likely do you think it is your marriage will last". I answered "50/50". She was surprised and asked why 50/50. I said "because statistically, 50% of marriages end in divorce". She probably thought I was weird too. lol But my marriage has lasted over 35 years.

The interesting thing about quitting smoking is that in order to prove you finally succeeded in never smoking again, you have to die. Only then can you prove you were right. But I am feeling pretty decent about my quit.