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Holski

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  1. Holski

    Note to self!

    By Holski,

    MQ posted this in another post and I need to put it somewhere that I can pop in and see it easily.
     
    ****"It doesn't matter if you feel like you want a cigarette, have a craving or a shitty day, the choice is always there."*****
     
    It may seem obvious to some in fact is sounds obvious to me but to my addicted body... it isn't.
    Hehe. Silly body!!
     
    Not one puff ever.
     
    It doesn't matter how bad you (me) really want a cigarette. You don't smoke. Period.
    Period. Period!
     
    It. doesn't. matter.
     
    You. don't. smoke.
     
    (((Holski)))
  2. Holski
    I'm just glad to still be smoke free.
     
    So to quote something quoted to me my someone who was quoting someone else.....
     
    Sometimes I want to murder my husband with an axe.
    But I don't because I'm not an axe murderer.
     
    HA!!
     
    Sometimes I want to smoke but I don't
    Because I'm a non-smoker!!!
     
    YAY!!!
     
    Thanks quoter. You know who you are.
    ;)
  3. Holski

    I made it.

    By Holski,

    Holy Mackerel, I made it!
    I don't remember being so tired. Ever.
    I'm not kidding either. My feet hurt, my fingertips are raw.....or is that flippertips.
    Anyway, I have alot to do at the new place but it is coming along.
    There was only 1 day that I seriously thought about smoking.
    It was the ole' wake up in the morning and start to romance the cigarette.
    I immediately realised that was what I was doing. I will keep telling myself that smoking has nothing to offer me. Smoking has nothing to offer me. Smoking has nothing to offer me.
    Etc, etc. etc.
    I thought about it for a total of about 1 min. Seems like longer but I know that is the brain distortion I get.
    I got on the board and pledged and took deep breaths and just kept swimming.
     
    Thanks guys and gals, I have you to thank!
    :D
     
    (((QT)))
  4. Holski
    OK, so I am moving this week. On Friday 8/1 and Saturday 8/2 to be more specific.
    I still have packing to do and my little one is acting out. He isn't taking this move as well as the last. I'm sure because he is older, etc. etc. etc.
    Trying to keep my cool. I want to be able to look back at this and laugh, just like I do at previous adventures.
    However, I am pretty stressed. Deep breaths alot and more than the usual amount of cupcakes.
    It will be nice to be settled again so putting 1 foot in front of the other.
    Also, just keep swimming comes to mind. :)
    Just keep swimming...just keep swimming......
     
    Back to work now.
    :wacko: :)
  5. Holski
    So I'm sitting at my desk at lunch and eating an almond joy.
    I just love them. I love chocolate.
    Needless to say, my weight is still the same as well.. too much.
    Not going up, though. Yay.
     
    Anyway, I am so happy to be smoke free today.
    I am going through the process of moving homes.
    My landlord decided to sell the house we (my family) rent.
    She didn't tell us and whamo, a bit over 3 weeks to move.
    What the?!?!
    Anyway, I had a freak out, I almost smoked but then I didn't.
    I know by now that it wouldn't solve anything, just make me feel worse.
    I used the tools I have learned from you people and am still smoke free!
    Can I have a "hallelujiah"!
    Signed a lease on another place and will be moving at the end of the month.
    I am going to buy a house in the next 2 years if it kills me.
     
    I've been comin' round these parts since November of 2011 and I have 28 days today.
    Sometimes it frustrates me. Boooooo!
    Of course, I know that as long as I don't smoke today, it will all be OK.
    I can deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
     
    (((hugs to all of you)))
  7. Holski
    I should have done some blog entries when I was feeling good.
    I will do that, for sure.
    In the meantime,
    Blaaaaach!
    I feel unappreciated at work.
    I feel yucko.
    What do people do who don't drink or smoke for an escape.
    Exercise? Really?
    Eating sounds good but that only goes so far and I'm not loving the weight gain as it is.
    Knitting? I don't know how. Maybe I should learn.
    Read? I love to read but I'm lookin' for something else.
    SOMETHING IS MISSING!!
    Sleeping. That is great!!! However, I can't sleep my life away.
    One foot in front of the other.
    This shizzy feeling will pass.
    It always does.
    Just don't smoke.
    OK.
  8. Holski

    Depression

    By Holski,

    Bummer deal. I could stay in bed all day. Literally.
    I. Don't. Want. To. Do. Anything.
    Catch 22.
    I know that getting up and moving and doing stuff would help.
    However, I don't want to get up and do stuff.
    Imagine the biggest sigh ever that echos through the trees...
    That will be me.
    *Sigh*
    Tomorrow I will force myself.
  9. Holski

    Still hanging in.

    By Holski,

    So last night was really fun! It was great to see my girlfriends. The group of us have been friends since high school.
    Some of them have older children and a couple of us were late bloomers and have young kids.
    We all used to smoke. Bunch of little rebels, or so we thought.
    Anyway, I did end up going to the smoking section outside with them and it was fine. I was OK. I thought about posting If I needed to as I had my phone on me. You guys were there with me and you didn't even know it! :D
    Also, I am the only one who doesn't drink anymore and so I was the designated driver and it was a blast!
    I didn't get home till 1:30 am and got to bed at about 3. My usual bedtime is between 9-10 at night. LOL! I was really tired today (I had taken the day off of work) so I didn't do much of anything.
    I noticed, however, that I was extra cranky today and had little patience.
    I hate feeling like that! My son was driving me nuts! I kept thinking about how less irritable I am when I am smoking.
    Really, I am.
    However, then I thought about what I've learned about, I wouldn't be feeling like this if I didn't smoke in the first place.
    It isn't the quitting that is causing it, it is the smoking that is causing it. Helped me place blame where blame is due.
    Then I went outside. Absolutely lovely weather. I also thought about how I really don't go outside and just sit and relax like I did when I was smoking.
    I did that and got fresh air and read on the board.
    I really need to do that more often. Just go outside and sit and relax.
    A thunderstorm rolled in and that was refreshing!
    I am grateful right now for my smobriety and all that I have learned so far and for all of the people sharing their stories and such.
     
    I thought my head was going to pop off earlier and now I feel so much better and I didn't smoke.
    How cool is that?!
    :)
  10. Holski

    So far so good.

    By Holski,

    Had too much to do today to think about smoking much.
    Tomorrow night is a girls night out and we are going to see Peter Murphy.
    Wooo hoooo! This will be super fun!
    I have 2 girlfriends that still smoke but the other bunch quit years ago.
    Shouldn't be too bad there I don't think. Just gotta stay off of the smoking patio.
    K, I don't have to stay off of the patio, I just don't think I'll go out there because
    it is a big smoke fest. No reason, ya know?
    Anyway, I will keep my quit and I will continue on this journey.
    :)
  11. Holski
    Goodnight Monday. To smokes I say..In your face!! Today was good. I had some craves but with the help of my friend taffy..and the board..and dinner....anyway, I made it through. The elevator ride to my car was probably the the biggest trigger today. LOL Pavlov! Hugs to you all! P.S. I'm planning on getting up early to hit the treadmill. LOL! Let's see how that goes!
  12. Holski
    Ahhh.. I made it another day. I woke up this morning and wanted a smoke. I didn't do it. I worked in the yard. I love that! I thought alot about smoking..especially when my hubs was smoking. I could smell it. I didn't smoke then either. I sat in the shade watching my sweet boy play in the pool. I didn't bite him. Hahaha.. I'm a shark...get it? Anyway a breeze was blowing and it was simply lovely. Thought about smoking. Took deep breaths and didn't smoke. I ate a big giant dinner..no smoking. I'm in bed and sooooo grateful I didn't smoke today. I feels sooo good! What a relief. :)
  13. Holski

    Alright already

    By Holski,

    So this is where I can keep a log of my journey. I really really really have to make this my sticky quit.
    It is. I'm gonna keep saying it. This is my sticky quit.
    THIS IS MY STICKY QUIT!!!!!
    THIS IS MY STICKY QUIT!!!
  14. Holski

    Good Morning Monday

    By Holski,

    Good morning Monday. I would really like to sit here on my couch and drink coffee and not go to work.
    It is usually easier to not smoke during the day when I am at work, however.
    There's a plus.
    Deeep breaths. OK, let's go.

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