Hi there Jet, congratulations on your nearly 6 months smoke free. You have come so far!
There are many stages to a quit and right now you're in the bargaining stage. Your addictive mind is trying to justify smoking again and if you continue to allow that you will relapse. How do people relapse? ANSWER: They talk themselves into it by thinking they can smoke a little longer without health issues or that they can smoke just for a while to get through a stressful time and then quit again. What will it hurt right? Smoking doesn't help life stress. It actually adds to it. There is nothing calming about it! No one who smoked for any length of time is immune from potential health problems but clearly the longer you smoke the more damaging the effects are. I smoked for 28 years and I so regret not quitting sooner. I regret the time I spent smoking, searching for a place to smoke and stressing out when I couldn't smoke. I went to Disney with my family and my main focus was finding the smoking areas. Often I didn't travel at all because it was so complicated as a smoker and I would rather smoke. I chose smoking over almost everything. Is this the life you want to return to? What did smoking take away from you? That's where your focus needs to be. Take control of those thoughts and allow yourself to heal. Time helps I promise you that.