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Jenny

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Blog Entries posted by Jenny

  1. Jenny

    The storm

    By Jenny,

    Posted 27 July 2012 - 01:58 AM
     
    ...And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in..." ~ Haruki Murakami
     
    ~Jenny
  2. Jenny
    Posted 25 November 2012 - 04:40 PM
     
    I was talking with someone at work the other day who is quitting smoking. She is quitting after starting again in September during a stressful time. She was quit for 14 YEARS!!! I was completely blown away that she would start again after all that time. She said she is really struggling too. It was a good reminder to protect your quit at all costs. She was happy being quit. Was not even thinking about it anymore, but then was offered a cig in a crisis moment and took it. No matter how long you are quit you can never forget that one puff always leads to another.
     
    ~Jenny
  3. Jenny

    Arrghh...

    By Jenny,

    Posted 06 August 2012 - 01:21 AM
     
    The last few days have not been the best. I am stressed due to a project at work and stress appears to be the strongest trigger for me. I go along just fine, hardly thinking about a cigarette & happy to be a non-smoker. I get little craves, but they are easy to dismiss. My only difficulty are days when the stess level goes up. It does not appear to be getting weaker either with each stressfull situation in which I do not smoke.
    I'm sure I have just not given it enough time...I guess I just want to complain a bit. Days like this where I crave all day make me so mad!! :evil:
     
     
    ~Jenny
  4. Jenny

    Two Months!

    By Jenny,

    Posted 24 July 2012 - 01:05 AM
     
    Today I reached two months in this journey to be smoke free. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. I smoked one pack a day for 28yrs and thought I would be chained to it forever. I cannot believe how long it took me to quit. I am 44 years old and have had many medical issues directly related to smoking. In my mid 30's I began to experience wheezing, especially when I lay down--and still I continued to smoke. At 38 I began to have severe pain when I walked more than a few feet. After some testing it was discovered that I was not getting adequate blood flow to my legs. I had a stent put in to my artery to help--I smoked on the way home from that procedure. Two years ago I had a blood clot go to my lung and was hospitalized for two weeks. I was told to quit smoking---this could have been fatal--and I smoked the moment I was released.
    I felt guilty constantly, I felt weak and inadequate. Since I quit smoking, I have no need to feel guilty. I have no need to worry about what I am doing to myself and my family. I am stronger than I have ever been before. I am no longer chained to an addiction that kept me from enjoying my life.
     
    I am not as good with words as some of you are here or as forthcoming with what I am feeling etc... Thank you all so much for helping me to get my life back. A life I had forgotten even existed.
     
    ~Jenny
  5. Jenny
    Posted 01 June 2012 - 11:51 PM
     
     
    8 days for me and tonight am not doing so well. I keep telling myself it will not always be this hard. I hope that's true. I've been reading posts here since before my quit. I am in awe of you all.
     
    ~Jenny
  6. Jenny

    Almost smoked today...

    By Jenny,

    Posted 15 July 2012 - 05:08 PM
     
     
    Today I have been feeling stressed, overwhelmed. Dropped my kids at a friends house and on the way home was really, really craving a cigarette...drove by several stores and it was all I could do to keep driving until I made it home. I would say that it was the most powerful urge I have had since the first few days to blow my quit. Scared me....I will need to be on my toes for sure. I simply cannot smoke NO MATTER WHAT.
    Thanks for "listening".
     
    ~Jenny
  7. Jenny
    Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:20 PM
     
    I really didn't think I would feel that much different on a Holiday versus any other day.........WRONG. Beginning yesterday I have been craving a cigarette practically non stop. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!! :evil: Family dinner is done and I am thankful to be home now :) :) . It felt so strange to be with the family the whole time. Strange that I thought that was strange...!?!? No going out and hiding behind the house for a smoke. I made it through. I am hopeful everyone has faired well and were able to enjoy. :) :mrgreen:
     
     
    ~Jenny
  8. Jenny

    A friend quit smoking

    By Jenny,

    Posted 15 November 2012 - 01:37 AM
    One of my co-workers announced she had quit smoking today! I have not spoken with her much recently because the only time we really saw each other was on smoke breaks...So she announced she had quit and I was so happy for her. She has smoked about 30 years. We were talking and I was sharing with her the things I had learned here and letting her know how much better it gets (she is about 1 week quit). Then she says she is still smoking 2 cigarettes a day?! She really feels that only smoking two cigs a day is the same as being quit? We all know it is not likely she will quit that way. You either smoke or you don't...
     
    ~Jenny
  9. Jenny

    Bad day

    By Jenny,

    Posted 11 November 2012 - 10:33 PM
     
    It's been a difficult week. Had to put my Cat down a few days ago. He was nearly 17 years old but had cancer and was suffering towards the end. Of course sad and anxious times are triggers for smoking. I have chosen not to smoke no matter what---and I won't. Thanks to you all for teaching me that smoking will not help. In fact it makes things worse. Had I not had the strength of the things I have learned here there might have been a different outcome today. This board is so very AWESOME!!
     
    ~Jenny
  10. Jenny

    Found Cigarettes

    By Jenny,

    Posted 09 November 2012 - 02:07 AM
     
    My daughter age 9, found a pack of cigs in a drawer today. She was so upset thinking I was smoking again. Broke my heart to see the look on her face. Of course I am not smoking again and had no idea they were there. I told her to dunk them in water and throw them away. It was a good reminder of how much my smoking affected my kids and also a good reminder of why I need to stay quit.
     
    ~Jenny
  11. Jenny

    Today

    By Jenny,

    Posted 03 November 2012 - 04:53 PM
    Some days are just more difficult than others....Some days I miss not having the nagging anxiety a cigarette seemed to solve---until I remember that I did have anxiety when I smoked. Not sure why I did not identify it as such. So often when having a cigarette was not possible I would be crawling out of my skin until I could light up again. I remember standing out in the rain, snow, wind. Burning my clothes, car and furniture. SMELLING terrible---as my kids so often reminded me. Feeling guilty that I was destroying my health and the health of those around me. How could something have so much negative attached to it and still be craved?! I am going to give thanks today that all I am experiencing is the anxiety---without the rest of the ugliness that goes with smoking.
    KTQ!
     
    ~Jenny
  12. Jenny

    3 months quit!!!

    By Jenny,

    Posted 25 August 2012 - 12:35 AM
     
    I am so flippin excited!!! Before I quit I found it difficult to go 3 hours without smoking!! Glad to be taking this journey with all of you. :D
     
     
    ~Jenny
  13. Jenny

    No smoking section

    By Jenny,

    Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:44 PM
     
    Today while doing my laundry at my mums (my washer is broken) I had to keep walking through my brothers bedroom while he was smoking...and not once did I feel a crave to smoke.
    I do not come face to face with smoking very often. No one in my life smokes--It was always just me...
    I don't know if next week I will feel differently but for today it was such a good feeling to witness him puffing away and not feel bad that I was not doing the same. I know I will not smoke again. Smoking is not an option for me anymore and I am starting to feel like there will be a time where smoking is a distant memory and not a daily thought. I am so excited for all that is to come with my new life in the no smoking section. :D
     
    ~Jenny
  14. Jenny

    Smoking Dreams

    By Jenny,

    Posted 25 July 2012 - 12:01 PM
     
    I had a dream last night that everyone in my office was smoking---except me. They said it was too bad I had quit and could not smoke with them. What is really strange is that no one in my office smokes. It used to be just me. I felt sad when I woke up. Kind of like the early days of my quit. Still feeling a bit down which is foolish I know because it was just a dream. I have been so proud to have recently reached two months smoke free and as time goes by I feel better and better mentally and physically about being a non smoker. Just a strange dream is all. I hope I am not "romancing" smoking without being aware of it...
     
    ~Jenny
  15. Jenny

    Depressed

    By Jenny,

    Posted 06 June 2012 - 09:17 PM
     
    It has been 13 days since I quit. Using Chantix. I have spent the last 3-4 days crying, sobbing really. Seems like non stop. Went to my doc today and was advised to cut back on the chantix and she put me on Prozac...Anything to stop this crying.
    On the plus side I had moments today when I did not think of a cigarette. Fleeting, but still...
     
    ~Jenny
  16. Jenny

    A good day!

    By Jenny,

    Posted 13 July 2012 - 12:32 AM
     
    Today was a really good day. Hardly any craves at all. The 3-4 days prior to that were like one big lonnnnnggg crave. No difference that I can see in today from the other days, but I am grateful for the relief :D . I am also grateful for this board. It helps so much to be able to come here and read your experiences. At one time I truly thought that I could never quit smoking, never even tried. I am still amazed to have found that just was not true! I have quit! and I am proud to be able to say that. It is different getting used to this non-smoking life. I feel a bit lost at times... Even a bit scared but not as scared as I was to die of cancer. :D :D
     
     
    ~Jenny
  17. Jenny

    Survived camping...

    By Jenny,

    Posted 06 July 2012 - 01:19 AM
     
    Just got back from camp. I was worried I would be miserable the entire time because I used to smoke a lot at camp, but it was really not that bad. A few moments of discomfort but basically had a great time with my kids and other extended family. I am fortunate that no one smokes so I did not have that to deal with---just my own thoughts---actually my time with my kids has improved so much since I quit. It makes me sad sometimes when I think of the things I missed due to smoking or thinking about when I was going to smoke again. It was also really awesome to be able to tell my Dad that I quit. He has wanted that for a long time.
     
    ~Jenny
  18. Jenny

    1 Month!

    By Jenny,

    Posted 24 June 2012 - 02:02 PM
    I cannot believe it has been one month already! Not to say the past few weeks were easy, but I can remember looking at the tickers of others the first few days of my quit and thinking anyone with a month or more was sooo very strong! I wanted to be just like that and now I am! I have never really tried to quit smoking before. For 28 years smoking ruled my life. I thought I would never be able to do it and now I wonder why I ever thought that? Just the addiction I guess. I am so proud that I can finally set the example I want to my 2 young daughters who hated my smoking . The encouragement & education I have received from this site have made all the difference in my success. Thank you all for inspiring me on a daily basis I wish you success in your journey to be smoke and nicotine free.
     
    ~Jenny

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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