Kris

You have not only created a better situation for you but for others in your community. For so many healthcare is neglected because they do not have the means to travel any distance just to see a doctor. This is compounded when your health is bad and you do not have the strength or energy to get there. I applaud you for being an advocate for so many, I just wish you did not have to struggle. Most people can not imagine what you have to do to just to see a doctor. I get it, you have to load up oxygen, walkers, wheelchairs, blankets, pillows, food and drink just to be out of the house for a few hours. I live in a large metro area and the doctors are here and it still is an ordeal for so many. I ask those of you that are able bodied to be aware of people that are struggling. Offer to help them unload a wheelchair, if you have time offer to see them to the doctors office, Carry bags, open doors. push the wheelchair etc., it makes a real difference.

It is still out there, my daughter in law (vaccinated) had a positive test yesterday. It is not a bad case, my son says it is like she has a really bad head cold for now. No fever yet, has lost taste. They are in quartine at home. Son says he is fine but will be tested tomorrow. Grandson has not been vaccinated yet but he will go to the doc next week for a test and vaccine. Needless to say not what we wanted for Christmas. Continue to wear your mask, wash your hands and social distance. This is not only for your safety but helps keep others safe.

Sorry to meet you this way, but happy, you are young, the world is yours for the taking. You have done this so you know you can do it again. This time if will be your forever quit. Value yourself and your health. Time stretches out before you, so many of us wished we would have quit along time ago. k

My favorite was Aunt Bea coming to take care of Opie. She could not do anything to make that little boy happy. She had given up and was leaving, when Opie ran out in his pajamas "Aunt Bea could not leave, she don't know how to do anything! Who will take care of her!" It makes me cry everytime. Just for the record, I am not afraid of frogs or lizards and I spent many happy days wading in the creek catching tadpoles with my son.

I am so happy you have Lily in your life. Our pups get us thru everyday; I do not what I would do without mine. I have three but I still find myself looking for another.

It was all or nothing for me. I was going to do it or I was not. I picked all, it has not been pleasant or easy but I am almost to six months. You will struggle and you will think is it worth it; Yes you are worth it and yes we can do it. Just take it each day and you will find out you are strong and you do matter.

Tell me about your babies. I must have missed you have furbabies. K

Lord God. Cannot sleep, up again. Getting ready to cook some bacon and make some fried eggs for the dogs. It is that time of month for their heart worm medication an they take it well when mashed in an egg. I have given up on shoving down their throats and take the easy way out.

Panic, panic how to just get thru another day, even before I quit, I had it everyday. How could I get thru everyday without the fear of everything. Then I realized I have lived to see another day despite my fears. No, I am not like everyone else and never will be but I can be content if I just stop fightng the fear. If something is going to happen it will, I have not control over it. It is okay to be fearful, to panic but I want to enjoy what I can when I can. If I drop dead at the mall, in a bowling alley, at a wedding at least they are things I would not have missed. I quit smoking to have the possibities of all I might see, all I might do. We only have one chance, I don't want to throw them away. You are young with so may adventures and possiblites. Do not throw that away lightly, smoking will only cause terrible things for you health. Keep you from the life you deserve. Be proud and stand strong the world awaits you!!

Rain is underated, I love it! Been in the bed all day with migraine. Got up and thru together a nice pasta salad and went to get wine. Watching Andy Griffith, been in love with that man since I was a little girl so my mom told me. My dad died when I was only three. He was in the air force. I would run to any man in a uniform because I thought he was my dad. My nick name was kissy bug, that he gave me. I tried to be worthy.

I will totally say I am glad I do not have to work any more. That I have to subject myself to a bunch a people who act like they are in junior high. You would think that now they are adults they could see the damage they make by being selfcentered, selfish and unkind. That there are people around them that are struggling with real hardships, health, family and just keeping the bills paid and food on the table. Life as adult shoud not be a popularity contest instead focus on things you can do to make someone else's live better.

@Linda. I am sorry to hear you are having a bad day. Things are not great here just mental stuff that comes with the seaason and living alone. I know you get it. It can get hard to fill up the day around the holidays. The plan was to go out and get get a small christmas tree...I have not had one up in years. Somehow I could not get dressed and go out. I have just tried to be busy here at home, cooking for the week. Playing chase with the dogs in the yard still in my PJs. Hopefully we will all sleep well tonight. I am not going to lie, it would be comforting to smoke but I know that is not a part of my life anymore, but I do wish I had not run out of wine. LOL Thanks for being here!

Thanks, let's face it sometime we girls just need a good old fashioned cry, somehow it brings some kind of peace. @Linda, as luck would have it my son called to see if he and my grandson could spend the night next saturday. My DIL is having a slumber party with her girlfriends. I hope I can take the boys out for an evening at a giant arcade and some bowling. Then have a dinner out. Yes, Kris, there is a Santa Claus! I still would like to visit that cabin, in the woods, can I have it overlook the lake? Can I bring the dogs for long walks?Can I have it prestocked with food and drink? Can there be a hot tub and a huge bed as soft as clouds? If I am going to have a fantasy, I want to make sure I don't forget aything. Thanks for my pretend memories!

Linda, having a huge influx of emotion, makes sense to me at this time of year. I know I need to have abreakdown and it get it out but thanks to antidpressants I am a walking door knob. Can't muster up anger, hate, sadness, grief. I think I need a nice cleansing bottle of booze. A good hours long crying screaming pity party, so that is my plan

Well when the family was still here it was a prime rib roast and and all the fixings, There are not many of us left and we don't get together. I will do a layered egg an mushroom dish, with sausage balls, biscuits and honey butter. Dinner a small filet and lobster with veg. Since it is only me I just keep it simple

@Katgirl I am not only proud of you for your quit but in also sharing your story of anxienty. Those who suffer anxiety/panic disorders have been forced to long to hide. Your words have given others not only the courage to quit smoking but have enabled them to reach out for help with anxiety'. It is time the world knew we are out here, we suffer and often can't function in the real world so to speak. I have been suffering my entire life, I have no idea what it is to be so called normal. I wish I could feel it at least once. To have no fear in any situation. It gives me great comfort to know that there are many of us that struggle everyday. I think smoking played a great deal in my struggle to fit somewhere. I have come to accept that place does not exist. I still have the anxiety and panic attacks and that they will all ways be present. I do have some peace that I am trying in other ways to better my health. Thanks for sharing your struggle.

I am proud and happy for you! Thank you for bringing us positive things to think about. It is wonderful know you are here for us all even through your own battles and I want you know I really appreciate it K

@darcy I am happy you are geeting more mobile. When I was young, I was a water baby. I was on the high school swim team. Such a relaxing way to get excersize and give you time to clear your mind, I have found a local pool where I can do lap swimming. I used to swim every week at my inlaws, they have passed now. It is hard to describe to others the peace you find in the water, your body lets go of tension and there is only the movement that makes you graceful, content with every stroke, the freedom to move without pain. You inhale the scent of chlorine, it is like a drug to a true swimmer. If you are lucky the only sound you hear is the light splash of other swimmers gliding thru the water.

@Opah No need to worry, my son does the yard work now, just running behind right now due to a heavy work schedule. He has his own home to do, mine and his his MIL that also was widowed last year. I am sure I can handle the plumbing isssues, just depression is holding me down right now, if I can't get it done I will call the plumber. The truth is I just like to feel I can take care of things. If I can't I can hire help, I just don't like strangers in my home unless necessary and I don't want to pay someone else when I can do it. Yeah, I am stubborn!

@Opah I have been off the board dealing with my own struggles for a week or more. It is so hard to come to grips with aging and the things that come with it. I could not have imagined a time that I could not do my own yard workl. That I could not get up a step ladder to change light bulbs and dust my cieling fans... but the reality of the situations devastate you. All my life I have done things that most women left to the husband. My husband was dedicated to his work, his job, above all things so I learned to take care of many things around the house. I was not upset about this, I saw it as things I could do so we would have more time together as a family. Now he is gone, I find that I can't do what I used to do with ease. Old age has come, sneaked up and torn away my confidence. I have to stand back and look at each thing, to see if I can do it. I can still get down but getting up is whole different thing. I have plumbing I need to deal with in a couple of bathrooms that were not a problem in the past but are a different thing with limitations that are age related. I am angry that I can not do things I have done in the past. I do not like asking for help. No one does! We are still the same person in our minds but our bodies betray us. I find that as these problems weigh on me it increases my desire to smoke again, like if, if I can only fix that toilet, dust that fan and so forth, I can take a break and have a smoke. The reality, if we get it done, we still can't have that so called reward, a smoke break on the patio. And so I live with a toilet not running well, I leave the ceiling fans on so visitors won't see the dust and I keep my quit. We have to step back and survey the landscape of our lives, what is most important. At this point I am choosing my health and a longer life so I can see my grandchildren grow up. So I can take them to the park and play without being short of breath. Yes, we are older but we at least have a choice in how we want to be older, we can recognize what is truly important. If I did not have anything else I wanted to see in my lifetime I would continue to smoke, a slow suicide. We must admit there is so much to do and see before we leave this earth, that will be our strength, determination and end goal. We want to leave our families knowing we choose them first above all things!

I wish I could help but the truth is still that I want to smoke. It does make a difference that there are people here have been able to do this. You are right...it will pass. We just have to be patient.

Mass at church

Edwin

@Kel, You have committed to a lifestyle that many of us could not ever dream of living. Gluten free, vegan, nicotine and alcohol free. So please don't say you do not have anything to enjoy on this holiday. You have everything and are doing everything that contributes to your health and well being. You are having a true thanksgiving that many of us are jealous of. You have set goals that you are achieving, You should be proud. K

Thanks @Linda I hope you are spoiling yourself as well. I may not feel good later after I over eat but I am going to enjoy it! K