Hugs to all of you! Thank you so much for being here for me!!! I have tears in my eyes. I am grateful to be here and I really don’t want to smoke!! Here I am rolling into my first 24 hours. This is probably my 1000th first 24 hours. Mornings are always the worst. And when I crave the most! So here it is morning. And here’s my routine as a smoker: After my husband leaves for work I have been going out shortly after to buy myself my daily ration of cigarettes (about 5) in which I come home and proceed to smoke one right after the other. Oh, and the rest of the pack I have crumbled and discarded so I won’t smoke anymore for the day. Sometimes I’ll leave the open pack of cigarettes at the store on top of the trash can so somebody else can grab the rest of the pack. Gheez! Ok, so today I won’t be running to the store.
I know all too well what smoking does to your health. I had a health scare 1 and a half years ago. I had my right lower lung removed because I was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer. Yes, I quit smoking. I have quit and started at least 3 times since my cancer diagnosis. I quit at least 10 times before my diagnosis for various amounts of time. At 65 years old I don’t have a whole lot of chances left. Yesterday I almost used fear as my reason to smoke. I have my 6 month scan the end of this week. I sure would feel a lot better about going if I had successfully quit smoking sooner. Like I initially said, I did this to myself. Time to go look in the mirror and say, I love you! Time to dig and find more reading on quit train.