Gus

-3

Enchilada

-3

Blimey y’all! I was pulled up out of a deep sleep because I was wanting a cigarette. I was drowning in the want of it. If I’d have had a pack close I would have probably chewed on one while I was trying to get another lit. What on the blinking bloody earth was that?! I mean Bible came to mind....pacing to and fro, looking for whom he might devour. I was kind of frightened there for a second! And my toes and fingers are constantly tingling! Driving me nuts! I know what that is, but it needs to stop. I need to get a sound sleep for once! I’m angry! I literally would smash someone’s face in if they were to talk to me right now and that’s being nice. And this is the one thing I remember from the only other time I ever tried to quit smoking. It’s why my husband drove to the store, bought cigarettes, came home, lit one, shoved it in my mouth and yelled smoke it, just smoke it at me! I could literally kill someone right now. And yet I never reached over, grabbed one of the nicotine patches that I had left and slapped it on. Why is that? Because I’m a quitter that’s why and quitters don’t quit, their quit!!! I was going to delete this before I click submit, like I do most of my posts, but I think this one needs to stay. For me. And now, I think I can find that deep, peaceful sleep that I’ve been longing for. Disclaimer: I stole that title.

Yeah, if it feels like crap. LOL Hoping for a better day tomorrow!

So...if I were to be put in lockdown for a week, I think that it would be because..... when I was 16 I egged an old lady’s house. I couldn’t stand her. But I’ve already done penance for that because when I was a nurses assistant at the age of 19...guess who was placed in the assisted living facility I was employed at. Guess whose behind I now had to wash. Never think that God doesn’t see. Because He sees. He sees it all. I know.

I’ve got more.

I know @jillar I was just trying to cheer Robbie up a bit is all. I didn’t want to bury that attempt on a separate thread that she may never see. LOL

Thank you @Robbie! I am so sick and tired of crying about nothing and over everything. I don’t know which is worse the 3 days of withdrawal I have or all the stupid crying afterwards. I have enough of a problem trying to convince people I’m not mental on a good day. HaHa It’s crazy that are quits are so similar in that way. Anyhow, I can promise you that I will not go through this again. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. I do hope that you are surviving the new lockdown or at least doing it in style. Party lights in the windows, a slammin’ Covid playlist, and I could come up with all kinds of crazy for you to do all week long. LOL Seriously though my thoughts are with you. So...if I were to be put in lockdown for a week I think that it would be because when I was 16 I egged an old lady’s house. I couldn’t stand her. But I’ve already done penance for that because when I was a nurses assistant at the age of 19...guess who was placed in the assisted living facility I was employed at. Guess whose behind I now had to wash. Never think that God doesn’t see. Because He sees. He sees it all. I know. And now I will try to remember other I’ll deeds I’ve done that maybe would get me locked up or down for a week at the time. Oh and please feel free to jump in with your own confession at anytime. But you don’t have to.

Snickers

Egg Roll

Tiramisu

-4

Hello Gene! Just checking in on you to see how you are doing on your quit?

Thanks everyone! I feel somewhat better. I’m assuming I have at least another day of this being short tempered and sad. I’m tired.

Congratulations Sirius and thank you for hanging around for all of us newbies. We appreciate you!!!

Day 1: let’s git r’ done!

Feeling anxious and down today. I will be glad when the withdrawals from the 7mg patch are done. Pretty intense, but not as bad as the initial quit nor stepping down from the 14mg to 7mg patches. I forgot to weaken my coffee, so I am definitely feeling anxious. I am going to get out of the house for awhile and just hope I don’t end up walking around in public with tears streaming down my face. But this too shall pass. I will persevere. I will not go through this ever again.

Awww man. Locked down again?! That really sucks. You get on here as much as you want to. We are here for you and this week will be over before you know it! I am glad that you got to enjoy your birthday though!

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