Hello beautiful souls.
As some of you may know I had a 12 year quit and relapsed a few months ago. Ive got bipolar2 and I was in a manic state. If you know anything about this disorder in the very high state you are not "you". You behave recklessly and you have a devil may care attitude. It's not fun at all. I had never experienced this before.
From my first puff it didn't take long to be back to a packet a day. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was a staunch anti smoking activist! After three stop starts and feeling beyond frustrated I joined the Quit Train, and was met with complete love, non judgement and encouragement. I still couldn't do it on my own and reached out for professional help. In that time I learned so much about myself and it gave me time to set a very serious quit date which was the 5th of May. It wasn't easy. About a week in I started "coming down", I struggled with depression, and I had to double up my mood stabilizer. Shortly there after I experienced physical and mental burn out. The fact that I had a severe sinus infection didn't help.
Quite often I would just log on here to read posts, send encouragement or play the games to keep my mind off things.
Today it's a month and I feel heaps better. Despite a rough ride, it never occurred to me that smoking might be a solution.
I feel free again. I feel alive. I'm in control of my health. I had to dig deep but it's been worth it. I continue to work on my inner child issues to have a better life. Not only for me, but for my family too.
If you have read this far, thank you. If you are considering quitting, I can assure you it's a beautiful gift of love you give yourself and there are special caring members here who will give you all the support you need.
I see you. You are valid. Your life counts.
Namaste.
Have a blessed day xox
