Breath-of-Power

From what Iv3 gleaned reading some stuff, i think that in order to quit smoking I have to pick a strategy, and as much as Id like to be rational or intelectual, as I understand those qualities, I cant use those as a manner to quit smoking. It seems I have to feel my way out of it. Whatever it is. Id like to say one thing. People fear themselves and dont want to have willpower. What makes me say this? Observations and personal experience. One time i gathered willpower and I remember vividly that when I went to smoke, my body jerked and convulated(?), my willpower felt the tobacco and refused to smoke. That lasted a bit, a bit of not really want to smoke

Self reminder that Quittrain exists when I get to the realization that somehow i wont be a slave to cigarettes.

I havent read all the replies but i want to dive in and tell my experience. Twin brother who also smokes. Lots of people I know that smoke. One time i was 2 weeks quit and venting to a neighbour. This was away from home. As I venting out I see my twin brother coming from affar down the road and that was the end of that quit, to spare the details I smoked right there and then. So, what gives!! There is a lot of psicological thing with me and the fact that I have and share time smoking with my twin.

I read in Allen's Carr book, the easy way method, that if the instructions are followed, one feels happy during the withthrawal phase. So how come is people here going thru 'hard times' when quitting? I've read in this forum quiting is hard, but doable. Do you see my point? Also read in the same book thats as to follow the instructions to escape the trap of tabagism. One step that i feel strange about, and insecure, is that one should 1st get rid of all doubts and fears. I am in that step. I think all the doubts and fears is what people here call 'the rationalizations' . Yes So to say that i'm planning to post my 'rationalizations' to be aware of them and shed off the brainwash that is the thing one should get aware of to kick the habit. I am starting to actively think about smoking, the issue. For example I realize that I smoke and one of the rationalizations that was seen was thst I think 'I got it all figured out'. Like I believe myself to be possessor of knowledge that has a by product of making feel myself important person. And so strange makings make me fall into self celebratory mode and when I smoke i sometimes think before lightning up : "I deserve ..."

Ok hello all. "Why am I thinking that i want to smoke?" -because I want to find a justification for smoking. "Why do I want to find a justification for smoking?" "Because I want to feel fear" "Why do I want to feel Fear?" This for(k)now.

Congratulations for 8 years without smoking!!!

Ok I will stick to this forum. I am always thinking about smoking somehow, even if I am not aware of it, otherwise how could I explain that I keep on smoking. But somehow i am embarassed by my thoughts and so i dont usually post. Anyone ever heard of the internal dialogue? The chattering of the mind. My internal dialogue is like this: ' i want so stop smoking but I cant stop smoking but I need to smoke before i go do *something* but I shouldnt smoke before doing such... ' it throws a lot of 'buts' in there, that cause doubts.

you were not blunt. The moment i stepped on this forum, for some reason I liked your avatar and name. I shall consider your words but please let me skeptic for a bit. I realized i trained my body breathing system to hold the breath, like I do when I smoke. SO this almost equates to not breathing very well when I am not smoking, even though I have that capacity (am still relatively young). Now i tell myself I need to rewire myself to breath and learn to pay attention to my mind while breathing. I am very sensitive to other people's "vibe"s. some people's vibes I purely like, others not so much. and im guessing many people like my vibe sometimes, but i might be wrong on that. its a very vague statement that does not say much, if I understand myself which means it all boils down to me, the way i feel about myself. i guess I'd like to be a nice vibe guy, am able to be that but it feels like a dificult mission. i think I read your words but internalizing them is another story - that is one thing I kindaa got as a lesson in this life. meaning I read your words, they have wisdom, experience, im guessing that is so. internalizing them is another story. i tell myself a lot of bs so that leaves no space for internalizing some other people's words, i have to seek and at the same time i have to make space. thanks for letting me put my stuff out here.

Why do I smoke? I believe it helps me concentrate. Why do I want to stop smoking? Why? I believe in a lot o things, am a person of confrontative nature (self confronting most above all). I'd like a healthy relationship with the spirit of tobacco. The native-american indians, some tribes, reference needed, believe humans were given place on Earth to feed the spirit of tobacco. It goes without saying that there is a spirit of tobacco. Which does not relate to industrial cigarettes. One advice I read about smoking is that it provides visions if it is smoked before night. Another thing i read on the same article is that while you smoke you should think about what you are doing. Just enjoy the relationship. People here porbably know a lot about industrial tobacco. It is, in view of what I read, a twisted and wrongdoing of the original intent of tobacco as an allie, a helper, a spirit helper. Also the same article says to smoke with the left hand, which is closer to the heart. .... I just spent some hours without smoking and now I smoked a hand rolled cigarette. Planning on reducing, perhaps i'm going to do such thing. There is no perfect cigarette, this meaning there is no need to romancing the cigarette smoking - an advice to smokers reading this. I'm trying to make sense of my world and since tobacco is in the center of it, I type these words. cerimonial use of tobacco in shamanic circles. that's not industrial tobacco, it is not industrial tobacco, so it is not a twisted timeless line that starts from no beginning in time. We mankind, it is we that abuse of substances and try to control what nature provides. Nature does not care, and so our trying to control comes right back at us. a blowback. Fanatism does not work for me, and I consider that some users on this forum smoked for a long while, decades if you will, because of twisted world we live in - the matrix. I guess I see myself smoking from time to time, it's grounding and if I udnerstand correctedly can be done with dignity. I don't know, i don't live in a indian tent/hut. I live in a society which has nothing to do with the flow of life, might be wrong about this, might be just my wrecked understanding. If you go visit an indigenous comunity and want to be part of it, i understand our ideas of "tobacco/cigarettes are bad" just are plainly out of place. You'd be expeled and even worse it would sound like a curse to the harmony of spirits/comunity relationship. I would sound fake if I did not take on this view of tobacco as an ally plant. It is a view I adopted. I only wish I had a sacred space to smoke and get insights from those such spirits. Thinking about why some people smoke and some simply never did never will. Some of those "smokers" may have be more prone to spirit talk, herbalism, medicine of plants. In the end it seems as if it is a personal choice if you smoke or not smoke. It seems. "you need cigarettes" indocrination like everything else! and everything all.

It is very hard, i dont know why I am taking this decision. Im doubting myself. Doubt doubt doubt. Doubtsss. Currently i do art in a social program of the governement but i fear if i stay away from this objetive, the objetive being not smoke, or fight to win will power. My body moved rocking-ly as i decided to have a. Smoke but i said no. The feeling is of disbelief.

I smoked this morning. Im trying not to be too demanding with myself but ill stick to this train to get myself keeping on not smoking. I have been reading the thread by QuittingGirl, trying to quit, haiving lots of trouble. I notice her mood improved over time. I want to stay close to this train and navigate the smokeless journey. Please support me? I have a voice that says i shouldnt just vent out here but maybe its thr monster, which is timid, talkinng, the monster talking. I have a mobile phone so ill br checking in. Hell week here i go, The feeling is of desperation and not believing in whatever is taking place.

But i do think im diferent!!!

I didnt make it. Lost my quit. I said to myself I was brainwashing myself into the issue. I said, mentally, <this not wanting to smoke is myself brainwashing myself>. For i didnt know the reason why I wanted to quit. So i considered it being brainwashing myself. And so i then smoked. Now im holding a cigarette butt with some odd reasoning that ill stop. Again.

Its not that i want a cigarette. I just dont know whats going on with me. My quit is a though one, i dont know about others and i dont want to hear "if i can do it, you can" brcause that is a fallacy. It rather works "I can do it, and so can you" everyone can? I dont know. Maybe some people cant. As you can see, it is/seems hard but thnks for this forum.

so far, so good