Breath-of-Power

I am posting an sos. Its my first day smoke free. I must remember the law. I am an addict. I am posting an sos because i know that i am in a state of mind that is keen on grabbing again a smoke. It is there, waiting.

Hi I relapsed but no way im out of the train. No way. Back on it again. Today. Back again. Today morning: The doubt entered my mind when i was rising the bicycle around. I instantly recognized it. The doubt associated with smoking. Another thing that stuck to mymind when i was smoking yesterday at night: as i read somewhere here on this forum, statistics say that i would try again quitting after somr 2 years and lots of cigarettes. This concerns the average user. I strongly protested in my mind: " no way im going to forget quitting for another years!" so here I am, sticking to. The forum. Holding tight to allen carrs book!! I slept with my phone on and with this forum opened on the browser of the phone. just did so. I am 33 years old and mental health diagnozed. Schizo. In search of my "WHY". As in Why do I want to quit. Ill be seeing you guise. For I need help.

ok @Doreensfree

@Reciprocity thanks! I will try and try again. If I fail 100x times, I will try 101 times!

hey all. im not in my best state now because relapsed aand here-I-am---- or should I say nevertheless I am here! I do want to say something. Everything is possible. & hardly we ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives in the blink on an eye. It not about being doable or not doable. easy or hard. it is what it is . what is easy? what is not-easy?? blessing or curse? dualism type thinking.! just resolve to quit smoking, intend it, use techniques like throwing all apparatus of smoking away. our lives never depended on smoking; never did, never will. - this might be a good mantra.

great post!

gee...back on smoking again. I realize I am a mess. I don't know who I am. if i'd go into details you'd understand that I am not tuned with society. Schizo, living in my world of thinking, and don't have much to show for to other people. They just lower the eyes when I pass, or do the opposite and take a bite at me. No job, no money, only mom and rest of family which shies away from me. SO I dont really have friends. I understand that I need to show who I am. And that is by showing up. With the pandemic I retreated out of society. Even more. So I live in my world. It's dangerous to be a nobody.

I commit to integrate into this community of people who have smoked and quit! I Still am struggling, sorry, I'm reading NTAP by Joel Spitzer. I romanticize the cigarette. I am sticking to this forum for exchange of ideas. The last time I cold turkey-ed, I made it 2 weeks. Then self-pity hit me and as if a "gift from the skies" sure enough my brother, a smoker, crossed path with me and I succumbed. I believe that was the final barrier before becoming an ex-smoker. Self-pity - me whining about whatever, poor-me, poor-me. A cigarrete and I was and am hooked again.!

Why quit smoking? And why admit to being a nico-a-holic? My phone is running out of battery so I only write these words.

Not One Puff Ever!

You are not alone. I hope to see you feeling better.

NOPE

I'm back again on the train. I am used to think that kicking the habit requires a lot of willpower. I have been on this loop for some years now (5+). Allen Carr says it does not require willpower, which is something I honestly, deep down, don't believe, honestly. I really believe it is willpower, but I am also open, really, to eye opening comments on wether or not it is a question of willpower. Now we would have to define willpower here, I suppose. Willpower, and there is also another term that is not willpower but is related to it: mindpower. I don't think I have willpower, nor mindpower. as stated above I have tried willpowering my way into a quit. failed failed failed. One thing I really like about Allen Carr is is realization that he had one day. It resonates with some books I read (not about smoking). There is deep down a point where one can realize that it is easy to cut down on anything just like that. I believe Allen reached that "point". And that is what he carries with him to help smokers. and trully be an advocate of this "point of realization" that exists in each human being. I plan to linger in this forum to help me quit. Helping myself. And please be open to debunk my thoughts/ideas in this forum and in this thread. love to all

NOPE

Trying to come up with a mantra that when thought about, or recited, calls awareness to what we read about tobacco, quitting, and all related. For start, it has to be positive in the sense that it is affirmation that does not include words like (no, not, don't). It also should/could be directed to the collective unconscious of the smoking habit. examples: (to be thought about.)

I relapsed after my last quit. Made two weeks, but at that point my self-pity was immense. I was picking garbage on the road ride. I really was suffering from self-comiseration. I stopped coming here because I re-started smokiing so I felt embarassed to come here. and that seems like a mind-lie. I notice that while reading the posts in the forum, some words/phrases have a special shine, that calls my attention(and other users). I think writing them down may , the words, sound reasonable. There is also talk about having faith in ourselves. That is a nice direction and should be explored more. So far, the practice of the faith-of-not-smoking seems to be writing down NOPE. My wish, my wish is to come up with a mantra. Reading this forum, seeing the material, reading, is important. Now the aspect of faith is not being explored. A mantra that helps, through recitation, to fixate and bring to awareness the shines we get from our studies here (and elsewhere). Faith into action - call it that way.

@Brioski Hello. how is is it going now? Not a native english speaker here. and I make an effort to talk to you ,Brioski, and all, hm I imagine in a couple of days, since I quit yesterday, I'll be starting my personal style of communicating, which is confessional - self-pity kind of thing - looking for solace. ------ go brioski, your quit and sticking to it is directly correlated to the words of the members in this forum and in this thread. that is how I feel about your quit. directly correlated means that after you show some strenght,and/or while you show some strength, by posting or doing something else means that you are strong, you atract the strong people - that is what is happening on this thread. I don't know you Brioski and lately I find that people trully are diferent from each other. to each its own quirks. and they are many!?

I'm back on the train. I like to spend money. I threw away my tobacco now. day 0

Still noping

Nope.

Nope.

This is a serious thread, you guys! no humour is allowed. studies(no reference) show that laughing improve quality of life(what is life?), do you want such a thing for y'erselves? and the community!

.........................................NOPE!

NOPE.

I have been a little bit checking in the forum. With the exception of 3 cigarettes 3 nights ago that put me back where I started (more or less, I guess?) nicotine-wise, It's been 5 days. But doing the math, it's been 3 x 24 hour-cycles (=72 hours). The dreadful first 3 days. Now I'm after the dreadful first 2 weeks. But I want to share with you some thoughts. What is not-smoking? The air has polluents in it, we go by other smokers and to those with keen noses, I would think that we notice the smoke. We have noses that smell. City. Movements, currents of air. presence of Smoke. A room where someone is smoking. again, presence of smoke. There was something truthful in those 3 cigarettes I smoked 3 nights ago, er. Then back on the train. But what I want to share is that I'm after development of a strong quit, and development of will. Will power, strenght, capacity, mind power. will. Without further due I present my near-smoking experience. these last days: I felt something was off. My quit consisted of what the users do here, I guess, meaning education on tobacco (Death in the West great doc), and coming here for support. But something was off. I did not feel I was addressing the issue, whatever it is and still is, the way I wanted, meaning boldly.(whatever this means.) Night. Guided by intuition I went to a spot in the house, back "yard", where I smoked many cigarettes. I was after something... I checked and the rolling tobacco pouch had tobacco in it. I smelled it. It smelt good. I also checked and found rolling paper and filters. Lighter, always had it with me. Then it begun. A debate wether I, and this is the tricky part, "should" or shouldn't" smoke. This is tricky to explain. Hence the question what is smoking but. At one point I thought to myself "oh, I have already decided, I am going to smoke". this is tricky to explain. I still don't know what happened, but sure was more akin to what I'm looking for (and finding). I got up and went inside. I didn't smoke. Seemingly this whole experience had an effect on my mind and body. Including a vision/feeling/after experience memory vision of my body steaming smoke from a sitted position (i was sitting). This is what I'm after. The will power where even I am convinced that oh I am about to smoke and yet I gather myself and draw the line. Because I want to be strong, and to be strong I gotta make myself strong. PS: I didnt want the challenge of going again thru nicotine withdrawal, but I sure wanted to be near the sharks. I can't say I reccomend this for anyone or everyone, remember these are words from a "stranger" on the web displayed at your computer screen. This is just my style. I know I will hear different opinions on the matter, it's normal, we are human beings. I'm not a bot Also why not have a near-smoking experience thread. Like if you pass near someone smoking that is a near smoking experience. Maybe you want to share thoughts on that kind of experience. This near-smoking experience was (obviously self induced. Reasoning out: there will be smoking cues further on down the road. To prepare for it, I went to/thru this experience.