Steven Drojensky

Don't do it. I had the same cycle and it just started getting real old. I was at where you are at yesterday and came on here and posted instead. I am glad you did the same. Keep going. You're on the right track if you simply don't pick up that first one again.

I'll take a large glass of NOPE, please.

All 3 bands are still going pretty strong. My friend Mike works for X, so I've seen them a lot. I haven't seen Los Lobos or the Blasters since the mid 80s. I was in a punk band called the Angry Samoans from 1984-90. A lot of great shows back then.

@Linda Much better on the craving front. Had the worst night trying to get to sleep last night, though. Probably got about 2 1/2 hours in. Feel pretty good otherwise. I got offered 2 free tickets to see X, Los Lobos and the Blasters this coming Sunday, so my mission today is trying to find a ride down to Costa Mesa. Been dying to see some live music.

@Martian5 I was actually more freaked out about the amount of blood I was coughing up in the dream. The addict thinking kicked in when I woke up and started planning how I could sneak a few even after that jarring dream. So I posted up an SOS right away as I walked down to Starbucks for some iced coffee. And a lot of people chimed in right away. It feels good to know that everyone hear has my back. The rest of the day has been pretty good and I am so glad I didn't give in to smoking in real life.

NOPE!

Yes, much better.

@jillar @Linda @johnny5 Thanks so much for responding and for your support. It truly means a lot to me. I know that the first year is difficult according to what I've read on this site. I haven't really gone to many live meetings yet as there are still Covid restrictions down here still. I do tell my smoking friends that I have quit because I know from past experience if I keep it to myself that they will offer my one. I treat it just like alcohol. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. I will get through it. I have to kind of eat more, too. I had a bad week of depression and anxiety and I am eating a little more so my mood will improve. I also started walking a little in the morning because it has been around 90° and really humid lately in the afternoon and evening. I am really determined to keep my quit. I lost a few friends and even my girlfriend Kat to cancer these last few years. I don't want to end up like that. I have been hanging out with Kat's son Sam lately and he just graduated high school and is starting Moorpark College next month. He is glad I don't smell like a cigarette anymore. I am glad, too!

Had the weirdest dream last night. I was coughing up an unusually large amount of blood and then proceeded to start smoking cigarettes. When I woke up, I was having thoughts of going to buy cigarettes. Now THAT'S addict thinking and quite insane. So, I thought I would check in here and not go to the store. I am almost at 2 months now and really want to keep my quit permanent. I also go to AA and have 5 1/2 years sober, but people there still smoke and you folks understand nicotine dependence better. I also have therapy on the phone in a few minutes, so I will definitely bring it up there, too.

The Cowboys is one of my favorite movies from the early 70s. I read that actor Bruce Dern didn't want to take the part originally because he knew people would hate him for shooting and killing John Wayne. And speaking of Bruce Dern, he is one of my favorite actors. Some of my favorite movies of his are "Sillent Running" from the early 70s and even more recent ones like "Nebraska".

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Congratulations on 8 years, Paul!

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Congratulations Kris!

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Congratulations to you, Dianne!

NOPE

Congratulations to you, Gus. I baked a cake!

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@Kate18I also suffer from bipolar anxiety and depression. I would love to know the name of the online group you found. Please message me when you are able. I also came close to smoking recently but put out an SOS here and made it through. It is tough getting through the day sometimes. Lately, I have not been going out much or hanging out with people. I am guarding my quit this time. If I feel like I am going to be manic, I just stay in until it passes. It is difficult sometimes, but I have very few close family and friends that get it. I am also glad this forum exists because smoking will just make my mental state worse. I am very glad that we have a place like this where we can have support.

NOPE