helmethermit

thank you boo, yes, used to be the only way a navy instructor could come up with on how to teach the cadets to swim. push them in and let them figure it out. yes, now that i have 4 days or 5760 minutes or 345600 seconds smoke free i should not blow up my account. wow, that feels huge. love the answer to the second question, lol. thank you for the motivation and your positive energy

thank you johnny5, yes, now i realize how dangerous this so called love affair is. all folk out here are really helpful , motivating and keep you standing up and never let you stumble on this tough to walk on path. so far it has been good but then this is isolation and so things in favour of the quit are loaded. stil, a smoke free minute is a minute down - no matter what the reasons. thank you again and yes, i am going through a lot of stuff from the resources here to imprint the terror in my mind.

maybe i read too much stuff and made it into this game kind of thing but i do feel these things i mention physically too. like the flow of some invisible liquid spilled inside my brain when the crave dies. or maybe i am letting go of my sanity finally, lol day 4 today and i shall mark day 6 on the calendar.

hi dorrensfree, i was always making enough money to be happy - or on second thoughts now - i was always happy by default and managed in whatever i earned. i lost my career at sea due to reasons that led back to smoking. although i was laid off for nearly 6 years after that during which i was not earning a dime i still felt rich as i had food on the table and a roof over my head. money was never an issue and i was so broke at times i had to sell stuff to survive. i risked some small money and taught myself to day trade forex and making enough to make a living took me a bit more than 3 years to learn. How to be almost consistently so money wise i have no motivation to stop really. i could take an extra trade and easily afford to smoke twice what i used to financially. and i never wanted to be rich in the money sense ever. so money saving motivation is non existent. healthwise - i still trek but get tired far too easily than i used too. Have been a tent guy and spent most of my life in the great outdoors. i was re-reading ian bakers 'The heart of the world' when i realized 'out of the blue' that despite my great love for nature i needed chemicals to dictate my happiness and survival. it was not that my health was deteriorating (which it is due to smoking obviously and apparently) or that i wanted to live longer or better. i realized that by smoking i was out of sync with nature. i wished that day that i could find the strength to quit someday and feel like the part of creation i was meant to be. i felt that if i gave up smoking i could talk back to nature and be a part of it in some bigger way, lol. weird but blame withdrawal for the nonsense i write off late. you are a fighter - i can see how you feel in a much smaller way. you had it rough and i am glad you decided to quit when you did if not sooner. it must have been horrible even facing the eventuality that you mention. after reading your post i realize that health reasons to give up are huge and so dire. what you say is so true - ' There is only one rule to quit .... Don't stick anything in your mouth and set fire to it ....' ....

hi all, this is NOT the kind of music i am into but some of these normal folks just surpass the barriers of everyday life and inspire, touch and shake up your soul at times. i feel inspired by a lot of these folks and how they bounce back or simply stun the world with their passion. too many words here - let me stop and let the posting do the talking. feel free to post something similar if you find it to be a soul bleeder

thank you so much for the spot on video i needed as i am confused and suspect strongly - whether this unplanned and unprepared quit has the power to sustain under normal conditions. i will know the truth only once the tide subsides i guess. i feel i need to safeguard against the reflex action of habit more than these occasional cravings. thank you so much like always. you are a lifesaver.

nope

thank you darcy for sharing and inspiring, glad to know that there are others fighting and winning the war too. if i knew it was going to be so easy i would have quit eons ago. but then maybe i would have relapsed in all probability. because the conscious effort on my part is negligible. maybe it is not a want anymore. like the Buddhist say - just retain the needs, discard the wants. this was not a 'want to quit' but a simple 'need to quit'. i feel a physical sensation which is not painful in the front part of my head at times (when a crave is setting in i suspect). after a while next i feel like something is bursting outwards from the top of my head inside and once that happens i feel kind of relaxed but tired. but then i could be imagining things too. but i feel that sensation each time i experience a crave and once that bursting is done my head feels kind of cool to myself and i feel relaxed. just felt the above sensation once again and i had to stop writing for a while. the urge to smoke is not so strong but if things were normal i might have reached out for the stick out of habit and instinct rather than a need or want or desire or breakdown of will power etc. that is what i will have to guard against. like you are doing right i must find things to keep me busy and hold onto the quit. agree wholeheartedly to you - nope, nope and nope and nope again.

hello again, see - i was right about the energy generator that you are. that is so thoughtful, so sweet, so adorable and the most precious gift i could ever wish for. true - you are a strong woman and so i must shamelessly steal a lot of your strength and the energy, yes - the energy - that you radiate is so wondrous and so so positive in its strength. thank you so much - the queen of energy, for all the positive rays you spread out here and let the weak bask in, thank you so much again.

hi angeleek, thank you and i am glad that there are so many positive folks on the forum. what you say is true. i am some maybe 3 days - hmm, the last puff was on 21st mar pm so i guess the 72 hrs are near by now and coming to a close. so far so good. had one big and one manageable craving. the lockdown helped in the first case. that was yesterday first thing after i woke and was more habit than a need in a way. rest has been fine. no anger or any kind of over-reaction due to the quit. just feel a lot sleepy - is that a side effect?? lol, slept like a log but longing to go back to sleep again. thank you so much and only a newbie will know how awesome your help at this stage is. believe me - it is huge and really a true lifesaver. take care and stay safe.

hello Sazerac, you know what i loved best in you - you generate this positive energy so easily and so effortlessly. spreading a huge smile on a unknown face is your strength. you must be a positive ion generator in real life - that i am sure of. a great fun person to be around with. i love how you made the quit look - simple, no-nonsense, no big talk, to the point and so uncomplicated. its so refreshing and so beautiful when you put it that way. but you also expose that serious side of yours when you refer to the effort of the education and 'know thy enemy' strategy. right now i feel no elation, no anger, do not hate the cigarettes, do not have any smoke free dreams. just feels like an relationship has come to an end. a relationship in which there was a little love and a lot of abuse. i do not carry any hate with me out the door but the nagging feeling that i always knew that the only way we could have lasted forever was if i ended up in the grave. there was no other way this could work out. too late but i am glad i stood up for myself and had the strength to walk out the door - stood up for myself in this relationship for the first time. no more abuse. i carry no hate, but i cannot carry any love too anymore. i just do not feel anything. just numb and a longing to be alone. too many scars and these run too deep. 'my lover' will find somebody else while i nearly and almost lost myself in this journey. this time i guess i will not let myself go - i just cannot afford to.i must not. thank you so so much for all the positive energy - you made my day with your infectious energy, thank you again.

thank you jillar, maybe what you mention is true. maybe it was my sub-conscious that finally decided to keep 'me' out of the loop. else, i would have panicked. otherwise and foiled the attempt. for now it seems easy as it is more of a surprise shock that has me paralyzed and numb. the good thing is that i just read how tough the first 72 hrs usually are and i have almost sailed through the same without even realizing the enormity of the quitting process. that is a lucky break and so i must hold onto this lucky streak and not throw it away now. else i have to start all over again whenever i feel the need to quit which may never arise or take real long to come by. and like you say so rightly - next time the odds may not be so favorable. you nailed it - ..'Don't be stupid, dragging around an oxygen hose 24/7 sucks....'.. that is so raw, scary, powerful and the hard truth. have a great day and thank you for being a 'shining light' and a hero to me as i am sure you are to others out here. thank you again.

hi all, when the lockdown was announced (coronovirus) i subconsciously did not stock up on any packs. i knew that it would be difficult or near impossible to buy any packs as long as this lockdown that could go on for a week or more would be in force. but somehow and for some strange reason i ignored this warning. it has been some 2 days now and i feel both weird and freaked out. i thought i would feel proud but i just feel nothing of that sort. i just felt a few craves but nothing serious. a part of me whispers that it is alright as i will go back to the devil once things get normal. i do not believe the fact that i can quit and/or defend my quit. a weak whisper that i will not get a better chance to quit. this is the only positive voice in my head. i have never been clean so long (never intentionally - beyond 24 hours) so i guess in a way this is my best quit chance. i do not know what i am typing right now too. i know i can give up but not too sure if i want to. i just want and need to prove to myself that i can break the addiction for good for some strange reason. The money saving and health benefits do not motivate me really to be honest. Anyway some 30 years of puffing some 40 a day - this is an ex sailor who just quit cold turkey by accident, lol. whether he defended his quit only time will tell. a confused isolated accidental quitter for now, take care all.