Stewbum

Well back in the Er. Had another major issue this morning. They must have missed something when they were in last week. I am going to stabilize and switch to a better hospital 40 miles away.

Incredibly noisy grasshopper

Well put everyone and thank you all for the help and understanding the venting!

Thank also GUS and Johnny. If you guys would have just punched me out as in your picks maybe the stink thinkin would have left sooner....

Jillar thank you to the bestest bunny. Yea a 45 year relationship along with a 38 year marriage and 2 children. Pretty much it's a 10-12 year challenge chasing the past wonderful life and trying to help her disease. Problem over the last years has been keeping secure my children's inheritance. But death from stress is a worse prospect. Ya know looking back when you and Stew the Basket Case first talked (September 8th 2016), as you know this issue was there then. Einstein said the explanation of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well that's a good definition for what i do. I could apply this to the smoking addiction for myself and my previous quits and also trying to chase the past with my wife's addictions. It is always going to be the person themselves that needs the convictions to quit any addiction. Input from others is a benefit but the root has to start within.

Maybe I will start cutting white straw's and put them in a bin to recognize what the volume of coffin nail's were avoided?

Wholly shit that was close!! I checked myself into the ER to have heart test's done of which I failed all. They did an emergency procedure to install another stent. The cardiologist's comment was the artery was at least 95% blocked and another heart attack was imminent. Close call. So 1 day out of the hospital my wife decides to let her alcoholism sneak into the day, stress out of site along with blood pressure and risking additional problems I stayed at my (phycologist) daughter's place. Came home yesterday and another argument ensued. Tried to go to my cabin but this proved to be too much activity. Came home and locked myself in the shop with my motorhome. So my wife still smokes in area's around the house. At about midnight with no real sleep for now a couple days I took a walk around the yard and found an area where her one puff butts were. Shit I guarantee if I had a lighter on me or in sight, I may have lit one up!!! I actually got back in the shop and was half looking for a lighter, I felt something needed to give then went in the Motorhome and sat flipped on the tv and the urge subsided.... This is the very condition's how I lost my last quit. I am ok today and back in my right mind, but the conditions and the addiction were so very strong. I know that time under the belt is key and how far I've come is more than I want to lose along with the heart and life itself being threatened by cigarettes but WHOLLY SHIT that sneaky addiction sombitch. Yes, this morning I went out and threw her butts in a bucket of water sifted the water and dumped the little bucket and everything in the garbage. Moral of the story may be to NEVER believe you are too strong and that you have total control, because the second you let your guard down and start junk thinking is the second the addiction could sneak back into your life. Remember it only takes one!!!

Touchdown Eventually Dismissed.

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.

Simply NOPE!!

Our Unwavering Purpose

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.

Yes Sir perfectly stated, livin better works for me. I will follow your lead and your NOPE!! Stew.

Yea I get horn.......oh I mean Restless alot!! Enlightening and great read. I believe I remember babes posts from QSMB?

Chris Love the pictures, I grew up early on in Louisiana and on a bayou where gators were plentiful, used to smack them in the head with my oar as I was rowin my Perow to a friend's place. Of course the Gators aren't as mean and nasty as your Croc's. It was sure nice to see you here and still NOPIN as you were when I lost my 8 Month quit back in 2017. Over the years I have been following Jillar and the group from the QSMB site and always wishing to be back. Well I'am back and with a little different perspective. Of course heart attacks somehow just give's a person a little different drive to be done with cigs. The quit smoking or die thought becomes reality at some point. Cheers Stew.

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY. Dave, I can smell that butt can right through my laptop. Thats some stench and it was NORMAL to have ashtrays around!

Happy to NOPE!! From the topside of the dirt pile.

Have to NOPE today for tomorrow.

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.

Yes those crazy thoughts, Strengths and Weaknesses all at the same time. The connection to addiction is definitely the key. Really lets one know the reasons for the mental strife's and confusions. Cheers Stew.

Thank you all. And Overcome with that cool personal pilot. Thank you so much for directing me to Allen Carr's book. It has helped me immensely. The toughest part was having already a week down and the book saying not to quit to later in the process of the read. Really made me want to light a few up and follow the teaching's, that crazy addiction mind of a smoker sucks, but I passed my own test and foraged on. Great read and what I take from it is working well for me. Thank's again and thank all for the month congrats. Cheers, Stewbum, Not such a basket case after all, just an addicted monkey..

I commit to a year of being able to take HUGE DEEP BREATHS, smelling like my aftershave all day, not shriveling up and finding my way into the dust, Hell YES I'AM IN!!

NOPE!! NO WAY. NOT TODAY.