Genecanuck

Love Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love Judist Priest: Turbo Lover

Humour! This quitnet post made me laugh. Keep the quit! The Postman repost~~~ A MUST for your library!! From Leslipaige on 5/27/2004 7:24:31 PM Day One: ****. Day One again only the next day: Have tried to kill husband twice. Decide against washing dishes as always have cigarette when done. Same for bathroom. Am suddenly thinking this has upside. Eating dried fruit, apricots, pears, and brown things that look like squished roaches, which remind me of doobie roaches, which remind me of cigarettes. Watch husband light a cigarette; look at him pitifully. Eat leftover beans from last night – that’ll show him. Walk by computer and wave occasionally. Can’t sit and write or surf as this has been main smoking area. It’s about four-o’clock now; I could have just one, I could have just one, I could have just one. That’s Mr. Nicotine. He lives with me; ‘he’ could be a chick, but frankly, right now, I don’t frigging care. Decide to play fantasy game on Playstation. Spend next three hours breeding Chocobos so game hero can save world. World doomed in my opinion. Day two, morning: Woke up two hours earlier than usual. Great; two extra hours of fencing practice with the RJ Reynolds Company and spawn. Seriously considering finding some hallucinogens as never had desire for nicotine during a really good walk through a wall. Woke up six times during night to pee because I drank four gallons of water "to assist my system flush poison." Am feeling unusually testy as result of lack of sleep and deep-seated oral fixation fantasies. Decide to either kill or have sex with mail carrier when post arrives. Probably both. Day 2, afternoon: See husband off to airport for business trip. Clean closets. Nothing new in mail. Did all laundry out of necessity – body of dead mail carrier would not fit in dryer otherwise. Put in extra dryer sheets (Arm and Hammer, biodegradable.) Decide to take walk. Meet neighbor who asks if mail came yet. She is smoking a cigarette. I tell her no out of spite. Day 3, morning: Go through dead man’s mail bag; keep catalogues for joyous Christmas shopping. Feed rest down garbage disposal. Day 3, Afternoon: Call garbage disposal repair. Day 4: Receive visitor. Police looking for missing mail carrier – received anonymous tip from garbage disposal repair person. Make coffee and offer fat-free cookies and dried fruit. Arrange dried fruit to make smiley faces on plate. Police officer asks if I mind if he smokes. Burst in to tears. Confess. Day 472: Sentenced to death in murder of Postal Employee. Federal crime. Day 478: Beaten by seven large women in prison for having no cigarettes to trade. Able to sing better now; make up prison blues songs. Day 552: Receive divorce papers: husband marrying tobacco heiress. Cell-mate offers to have ex husband whacked. Wants twelve cartons of cigarettes and one pair Doc Marten boots. Decide husband will live as price too steep. Day 558: Secure two cartons of cigarettes for payment to cell-mate to have defense attorney whacked. Feel better. Day 691: Served last meal – minister asks if anything wanted at last moments. Think back to how good cigarette after meals used to be. Request one last smoke. Minister reluctant, no smoking in federal building, but sneaks one in. Sit back, relax, smoke. Ahhhhh. Feel slightly dizzy, giddy, euphoric. Warden enters cell excitedly; Governor issues full pardon due to new Federal "It Takes a Village" crimes statute: allows for defense appeal of insanity by reason of severe nicotine withdrawal. Day 1: ****.

Not one smoke ever!!

Good morning, I feel like I am returning to my normal state feeling like a non smoker again. Hubby has been working out of town for the past week and is coming home on Sunday. I had been a nonsmoker for a long time before we started dating. Met him in the midst of grieving my former spouse. He became the new love of my life in the midst of grief. This felt bittersweet. Funny how life works that way sometimes. But the new love of my life was a smoker. I knew that was the one thing I did not like about him but I made a conscious decision to accept him into my life anyways. Unfortunately, what awakened in me was the old triggers of associating smoking with pleasure. I observed him having fun and smoking. Taking breaks and smoking. Dealing with his stressors and smoking. For every event in life, smoking. Smoking for him was a life exclamation point event. And that became a pathway for me to relapse. Yes, those old triggers to want to smoke returned in me. And suddenly, all the stinking thinking about believing that smoking could enhance pleasure, help with stress and help me relax, all returned. The stinking thinking belief that I had to resist the urge to smoke. On reflection, I realize that I was on the road to relapse long before I had that first cigarette with him. And once again, I was in fight or flight mode and thinking that I had to FIGHT the urge to smoke. All the psychological triggers to want to smoke had returned. I am almost three weeks into this quit and I am returning to a state of equilibrium. And I am finding that balance again because I am not smoking. When hubby comes home on Sunday, I will observe him on that smoking treadmill, thinking that he needs to smoke to cope with life events. I can walk with him in life, but I choose not to smoke with him. He may never quit smoking, but that is not about me. Those old psychological triggers to want to smoke when he is around will go away as long as I don't smoke again. I'm keeping the quit.

**********Leaving the City of Regret -repost********** Good morning, I found inspiriation in this post years ago when I had slipped. I won't go down this road again. Not one puff ever! *******From AngelLady on 2/10/2001 4:52:20 PM****** I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip." I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town. As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there. First, there would be the Done family, you know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Then Shattered Dreams would surely make an appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It. Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be canceled by ME! I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them. So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myself and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. GOD BLESS you in finding this great place. If you can find it -- it's in your own heart -- please look me up. I live on I Can Do It Street.

This is going right into my quit relapse prevention library. Many thanks

Good morning, I think this quitnet gem reminds us that we have to change the way we think about our quits. This is an important part of recovering form nicotine addiction. Smoking cigarettes never had anything to do with helping us overcome any anger, depression, anxiety or stress in our lives. So, lets stop giving it that power and change the way we think about living a smoke free life. Keep the quit. Adopt ~ Adapt ~ Improve: Repost From Hart1800 on 11/17/2005 9:02:20 AM As quitters, we are going to experience all kinds of unpleasant symptoms. But like a virus, there is nothing that will take them away; they need to run their course. Therefore, we need to develop ways to handle them. I keep reading posts along the lines of, "I'm not going to smoke, but I really want or need a cigarette right now." This is treading on dangerous ground. By saying this, we're giving cigarettes more power. The reason we want this cigarette is because we still believe that smoking is the cure for what ails us - stress, anger, and depression. We need to change this way of thinking: Adopt Adapt and Improve. ADOPT: “to Accept or Embrace” Adopt a new way of thinking. Smoking is not an option. When we’re feeling anxious, tense and/or depressed, we need to quit thinking it’s our bodies telling us it wants a cigarette. We need to recognize what it really is: Our bodies telling us its anxious, tense and/or depressed. Our bodies do not need a cigarette, nor have they ever "needed" a cigarette. ADAPT: “To change or Familiarize” Now that we recognize what’s really going on with our bodies, we need to adapt new, healthy ways of dealing with how we feel. Change our routines, change our attitude, and familiarize us with the symptoms of quitting. Read, read, and read. Post, post, post. Be prepared. And of course, take a few deep breaths, drink lots of water, and visit our friends at the Q. IMPROVE: “To Get Better” I think this speaks for itself. Every day we don't smoke, we are improving our lives. KTQ ~ Sue

We are all familair with the Quitting Paradox. We need to support people wherever they are at in their process. Not one puff ever! Gene The Quitting Paradox From Alan (QuitNet Staff) on 9/9/2004 3:46:25 PM Hi, everyone: I'm Alan, head of QuitNet's Counseling Department. We rarely venture into public forums because the Qmunity works best member to member, but myself, Liane and Christine felt compelled to weigh in on the recent slips & relapses debates. The slips argument is so intense and eternal because members are fighting from two mutually exclusive points of view, both valid. When you're quit, the only philosophy to live by is: Not One Puff Ever. "Just one" can undo all your hard work, and you can never guarantee another recovery. But if you slip, the most important thing is to avoid the Abstinence Violation Effect, the message from the addicted brain (and sometimes from other members) that says, "You already blew it, so you may as well go all the way." The more a quitter believes in AVE, the more likely they are to relapse completely. A slip is not a moral issue. It's most often a result of weaknesses in one's quit-plan, and doesn't have to turn into full relapse. We all need different things for our quits. Most of us gather information and quit-strategy advice from others; we may not know what will work for us until we try and either succeed or fail. Some of us have hormonal/chemical/mental health issues that further complicate things. Meaning it's not that hard to plan incorrectly for our quits, and be caught unprepared in a crisis. We realize that even suggesting slips may be common will be seen as offering an 'excuse to smoke'. Someone with a weak program may even use that rationalization to relapse. But to say that smokers who slip are almost certain to go back to smoking permanently is absolutely unsupported by any data. In fact, study after study proves the opposite: *nearly every successful quitter has slipped and/or relapsed in the past *many quitters slipped in their 'final' quit *the faster one gets back on the beam after a slip the more likely they are to stay quit. To summarize: N.O.P.E. while you're quitting. Most slips begin by entertaining thoughts that you can have one or two. You may not be accountable for that first obsessive smoking thought, but all thoughts and actions that succeed it are your responsibility. Keep your quit #1, and do whatever it takes to not smoke TODAY. If you do slip for any reason, you are NOT necessarily doomed to return to your old smoking ways, unless you believe you are and choose to do so. Resetting your gadget is a personal decision, based mostly on how you feel about it in your heart, and how important a part of your quit-plan days and numbers are. Identify the weakness in your plan, and set a strategy for how you will overcome that situation next time. And go right back to N.O.P.E. If you find yourself slipping repeatedly, you may simply not be ready to quit, but that's YOUR CALL, no one else's. Seek out interactive tools and examine yourself and your smoking. There's no shame in saying, "I'm just not ready to make this a priority right now"; see what you can do to make it more of a priority, and DON'T QUIT QUITTING UNTIL YOU QUIT.

Simply The Best: Tina Turner

Hello @jillar This post is a gem. I went back to the original thread. I believe that is the key... we have to stop giving cigarettes power and shift faulty thinking. Here is a Dan1 classic from quitnet on March 24, 2007. Keep the quit! Addicts and non-addicts are exactly alike - with only a few differences. Addicts have cravings; non-addicts have hunger, thirst, headaches, depression, anxiety, and so on. The feelings are identical, but addicts use the wrong word. Do yourself the favour of honesty and call things by their right names. Perhaps then you can do the right thing about them, and there won’t be anything to fight. Addicts have withdrawal; non-addicts have stress. The sensations and chemical causes are identical, but addicts use the wrong word. Also, the addict takes nicotine, which amplifies the feelings. The addict in recovery often `fights` against these feelings, and so only adds to the stress. Stop the insanity. Address stress the way sane folk do. Don’t think that smoking will help. Don’t think that fighting will help. They can only make it worse. Addicts have urges and desires; non-addicts have memories. Again, same thing, wrong word. I remember my old girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I want to wreck my life and leave my wife. And while I’m remembering, I’ll remember the hells that wench put me through. While you’re remembering smoking, remember that made you feel good only by taking away some of its own bad, and that bad is gone for good now. Addicts fear consequences, non-addicts fear causes. Stop looking for the `next one`, start seeing through your delusions. Then there won’t be a `next one`. Addicts believe that addiction `makes` them think things; non-addicts know that faulty thinking IS the addiction. You stopped believing in monsters under your bed, stop believing in demons between your ears. You can quit. It can be amazingly easy and permanent. You just have to quit the right things. Quit using the wrong words. Quit lying to yourself. Quit fearing your own imagination. Do it consistently for two months, and I guarantee you will find yourself quoting Dr. King: `Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we’re free at last!` Addiction is not about weakness, Recovery is not about strength. Addiction is about self-deception, Recovery is about self-love.

Many thanks @Doreensfree Thank you @Gus Thank you @jillar

Thank you @Reciprocity Many thanks @DenaliBlues Thank you @QuittingGirl

Good morning. I read this old quitnet post again and realized this is a story about recovery. The only thing that I think I would add to this post is that it is not really about lifiting the cloud in the mind left by smoking. It is all about the mistaken belief that smoking could do anything to help us cope with the normal things that happen to all of us in life. Smoking never did help us cope with thoughts, feelings or emotions. That belief is a MISTAKE. And accepting that we have the ablitity to ride any of the life's waves without smoking is the real juice that powers' recovery from nicotine addition. Keep the quit. REPOST: Taking off your cloak of smoke From AniCat on 1/27/2005 10:55:53 PM Taking off your cloak of smoke From: healing2 on 9/16/2000 11:50:03 AM As the cloud of smoke lifts from our lives when we quit smoking so many of us sit in our wooden chair looking around the room at the blank walls wondering where we are and what we do next. It's like the smoke leaks out of a dryer vent or other small hole in the room, taking its time, leaving behind residue that needs scrubbing. Some of it is entirely hidden for months and months. We are surprised that we had yet to discover these facets of our lives that were permeated by the smell of smoke. It seems that as the layers of smoke are scrubbed away we barely recognize the room we call our lives and ourselves we call the ruler of that life. It's funny how we thought we were present for our lives and yet when we quit, we discover that not unlike the smoke we were kind of hovering around, above, and under that thing which we called living. Just as are bodies become cleansed from not smoking our lives need cleansing of tamped down emotions, unrecognized dreams, and unresolved conflict. Yes, we do have lots of work to do. Knowing where to begin, what deserves our immediate attention, and how to go about cleaning up the mess we feel we've made is a tremendous challenge. But as we sit in the barren room, the old curtains torn down and the windows bare we are but naked as the walls. We've torn off those cloaks of smoke and begun our lives again and we are as naked as a baby. What a blessing we've given ourselves. We get to rebuild, redecorate, pick a new wardrobe, and plant a new garden. Another season of our lives is before us and unlike the baby, we can express ourselves with more insight than we ever thought possible. Something transforming happens when you dispense with something as negative as smoking. The light is turned on; the glasses sharpen the image; and the ability to verbalize becomes simpler and clearer. Even though we feel overwhelmed at the magnitude of the restoration of our lives, we feel in awe that we were so unaware of its becoming rundown. How could we not have noticed that things had become such a shambles? Ah yes, the smoke blurred the lines, it made everything appear a comfortable shade of gray. Now as the vibrancy of life becomes once again apparent we want to hurry the process of reclaiming what is ours. We want to shine every crystal, polish every marble table top, and scour all the negativism of our former selves. We feel an urgency to repair damaged woodwork, paint the flaking and peeling relationships of our lives, and scour our bodies inside and out. Of course a project of this grandeur will take time but oh how anxious we are to begin. Now though it may seem daunting, this rebuilding of our lives, what a more worthwhile project? Would we choose to sit in the dark another five years, waiting for someone to pull us from the choking smoke of death? Would we cover our eyes, and hearts, and minds as life went on around us, just outside our prison walls? Would we perpetuate the false, fog like existence that years of smoking had draped around us? Nope, let's take off that cloak, put on some rubber gloves, grab a bucket and get busy. THE AWAKENING A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out: ENOUGH! Enough of the fighting and crying and struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of `happily ever after` must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are . . .and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you,) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself, and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace & contentment are born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive; and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop maneuvering through life merely as a `consumer` looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, that it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and you learn the importance of setting boundaries and of learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love: Romantic love and familiar love. You learn how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love. And you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up”. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and you learn that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want--and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you decide you won’t settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his or her touch . . . and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes `bad` things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you make yourself a promise never to betray yourself and never, ever to settle for less than your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can. Author Unknown

Another take on working through cravings when they pop up. Keep the quit. RE: Identifying triggers.... From MutinyFever on 2/12/2004 1:22:08 PM My take on triggers was written a long while ago. Triggers From MutinyFever on 5/12/2003 6:43:46 PM ~ 219 dayz Anything can be a trigger. An ashtray, snow, a pack of cigs, a good dinner, a movie, waiting for a bus, getting off the bus, a fight, a birth, a victory, a joy, sex, drinking, dancing, singing, asthma, winning a bet, losing a bet, work, stress, bedtime, waking up, a commercial, a baby crying, seeing an old friend, losing an old friend, breathing... The thing is no one can really control triggers. They happen. People say, stay out of the situation, but that is not the trick to quitting. That is just a way to make it easier. The trick to quitting is enduring cravings, one after another, one at a time, FOREVER. If that sounds hard, it should because it is. Thankfully cravings don`t keep coming forever, or they get spaced very far apart at least, eventually. But don`t count on that time. Don`t think about that time. Don`t wish that time were here. Experience what is now. There`s a good reason to. It is because if you experience the pain of this moment, you will realize that smoking caused this. If you really let yourself realize that, you will never want to do this to yourself again. There`s another good reason. It is that if you are really honest, you will realize this is not that bad. Chemo would be a good deal worse than this craving. Admit it. You can handle this. Commit to handling this craving each and every time it comes. Face it. The monster has blunt teeth. I am sorry you are craving. I totally sympathize, because I have been craving pretty hard myself from time to time. I can only say, this is the way our lives are now. I don`t avoid smokers. I don`t avoid triggers. Cigarettes and the triggers to smoke are just everywhere. I am simply committed to enduring all my cravings, one at a time, without ever smoking. I wish for everyone, the strength to endure. Long and long from now, you will realize you haven`t had a craving for as long as you can remember. Be happy now. Michael

What a thoughtful and insightful post @DenaliBlues You are reminding me that recovery is really a two part process. It reminds me of all my AA friends reminding me that you can stop drinking but still be a dry drunk until you work on all the underlying issues that caused the addiction in the first place. Recovery really is a process. I have to work on the recovery side of my smoking addiction. Yes, I also have caused a lot of harm to others while I smoked. I have to own that and make peace with that and make amends for that. Many thanks for your for your support and your wisdom.

Good morning, I am starting my day smoke free with my quit in tact. I went to a wedding celebration and there were lots of smokers all around me. I went outside with hubby and he had his nasty smokes. And I chatted with him, but I did not smoke. I was the designated driver, so I did drink during the reception. But I did had a few drinks with hubby's sister when I got back to her place. When my head was buzzing a bit, yes, I did was craving a cigarette. But I just let that feeling flow. I heard that little voice in my head saying, you can have just one. But the bigger voice in my head said, ITS NEVER JUST ONE. The bigger voice in my head also reminded me that I did not want to wake up in the morning coughing out shit and having to start my quit all over again. Today, I am going to a celbration of life. This will be an emotionally charged day for me. My former parter of 25 years passed away in February. We are getting together to spread his ashes on a lake that he loved. So many memories. The grieving process continues. But smoking will not make any of that go away. I am not smoking today because In the midst of grief, I choose life. Just one more step along the road I go! Keep the quit.

Good morning, On this day in 2004, I was feeling depressed and reached out to quitnet for some help. And Dan1 responded to remind me that what I was feeling was normal and thinking that having a cigarette would have anything to do with making me feel better was just more stinking thinking: a MISTAKE. As Dan1 said in this post, its all about discovering new ways of coping with emotions without smoking. Keep the quit! RE: Depression From danl1 on 10/25/2004 11:49:56 AM It's a tough time you are going through, but don't let it bug you too much. The feelings you are having are more about an exaggeration than about an 'unmasking.' It's a critical error that often gets made - thinking that soon after we quit is "how things are" without smoking. It's not - this temporary time is unique, and will pass. Unfortunately, it's a time when many people start to form beliefs about the way "they really are" and that they need to learn new ways to cope without smoking. The danger of this thinking is that it gives cigarettes a power that they don't have. Cigarettes have no way whatever to improve our moods or emotional states, and never did. But because of this rapid change in emotional state as we quit, it becomes easy to believe that they did, and people form a permanent belief that cigarettes were somehow useful - and that belief is responsible for a lot of recidivism. Don't fall for it. Understand that these feelings are simply a part of the quitting process, related in part to the physical and mental stresses that accompany this process - stresses that addicts can't fully appreciate since they've long since forgotten what reality is all about as smoking is concerned. A time will come when you regularly feel better than you ever did as 'normal' as a smoker. Smoking will soon be recognized only for what it is - a way to make yourself feel worse, never better. Sadly, that change occurs gradually for most folks. It's never as fast as we'd like, but it's always as fast as we need.

Good morning. This is another reminder that smoking does NOTHING to change any situation in life. Keep the quit! RE: Why do I keep making excuses to smoke? From Belle650 on 5/9/2004 8:35:46 AM Part of being ready to quit includes having the willingness to look at quitting in a new light. Quitting smoking is NOT a punishment! It is NOT a vindictive thing we do to ourselves to atone for the smoking. It IS a difficult journey, not for the weak of heart. We fail in our attempts to quit because we ALLOW ourselves the "comfort zone" of lighting up at the first twinge of discomfort. Smoking does not change any of the situations in our lives but it DOES put a barrier between us and the rest of the world. We STINK and people keep their distance. Smoking is a wonderful aid in isolation. You do NOT have to want to quit more than you want to smoke. Most of us wanted to smoke. You DO have to be willing to take the control of your life and your emotions away from that small amount of paper-wrapped tobacco and become responsible for your own destiny. Who is in control here???? Who's life is it, anyway??? Wendy 205 days, 19 hours, 17 minutes and 3 seconds smoke free. 8232 cigarettes not smoked. 2 months, 2 days, 21 hours of my life saved! My quit date: 10/16/2003 1:10:00 PM

Wow @DenaliBlues Well said! Thank you for your honest assessment of the negative impact smoking had on you and your spouse while you were smoking. Your statement, "All of this felt very visceral and valid on the surface. But in actuality, it was stinkin thinkin, and a rotten heap of rationalization" is very powerful. So much of what you said is what I experience with my hubby while he continues to smoke. The irony is that I allowed myself to become frustrated with his smoking and had the stinking thinking emotion that I might as well join him. I won't let that happen again. Many thanks.

You nailed it @DenaliBlues Nicotine trains the brain to the point that a cigarette becomes an exclamation point for everything that happens in life.... until it takes your life away for good! I am keeping the quit. Many thanks! Yes @QuittingGirl One day at a time. Many thanks Thank you @Doreensfree I remember all those previous lost quits where I just decided to shut down my logical thinking and sucumb to the moment... those moment when I did not care about my quit and just went with that stinking thinking... and smoked. In those moments, I was not thinking about the lie that smoking could do anything to enhance any fun, pleasure or relaxation. Or those moments when I was upset, anxious or feeling pressure. The thruth is that after I smoked, and kept smoking for a brief period, I always felt shitty and then had to come back to reality: THAT SMOKING ADDS NOTHING TO LIFE EXCEPT BECOMING A PATHWAY TO DEATH. I won't doubt myself and I will keep my quit. Thank you Doreen.