Ankush

@reciprocity Yes, but I had a cigarette. Having the cigarette doesn't make it a quit date for me, its the date I relapsed. So the day's damage is done. I am taking 27th as the quit date because starting today (again), I have not had a smoke. So yesterday was like a relapse day, and today is the quit day since starting today (again), no smoking.

@Jordan7 Yes, that's a good point. I calculated though (manually), I have spent approximately $9500 on cigarettes till date and smoked around 40880. What a profound waste. If I hadn't started smoking and had saved the amount of money I spent on cigarettes everyday little by little, I would have been able to buy the used car I always wanted around 10 years ago. The car isn't even available anymore in the used car market. Also my estimate of how much I've spent on cigarettes is most likely very skewed because the price of cigarettes has changed over the years as have my brands and their respective prices as well. @MLMR Thank you for encouraging me

Hows it going @Lilly and @Damona? Long time since we've heard from you both

@Doreensfree I still have those post-its all over my room that say "Never Take Another Puff". Yet, I relapsed yesterday. Probably shows that no matter what I try, Nicodemon can come back, I have to still learn to be smarter than the cigarettes.

@MLMR Thank you for checking up on me. Keeping that quit going. It's a pain though to have to start from scratch all over again. I guess its a million times better than being a smoker again though.

@Jordan7 Yes, that's why I get the error. The cost of cigarettes also depends on the brand. I was using the brand with the lowest cost. In addition to this, the quantity I used to smoke sometimes varied on a day to day and month to month basis. At the time of my first quit, it was around 3-4 cigarettes a day which cost me around 16 rupees a day. @Doreensfree Thank you. I am indeed back to being quit. Took the NOPE pledge as soon as I logged on to QuitTrain @d2e8b8 Yes, I won't let cigs be the boss of me. I will be the boss of them and since they are nothing but unhealthy ruin, they are fired. @johnny5 Yes, I shouldn't have become complacent, I'm back on track with my quit.

Nope

@jillar Wherever your bunny is, I hope he's fine

@Jordan7 Just tried creating the ticker again. The error I get is "Please select a value that is no less than 1"

@Sazerac You are correct that life from time to time throws challenges at us, but it's the petty challenges that I face that get to me.Thank you for that post. We must indeed keep our quits and our lives separate. Its difficult to do so though, since our lives were so mixed up with smoking when we were smokers.

@jillar I tried making a ticker, however, the ticker doesn't support Indian Rupees. I then tried converting Indian Rupees to Dollars or Euros, but I just got an error saying that the amount was too small or something like that. Don't remember what the exact error was.

@reciprocity Well, I'm hoping I don't face any more situations like the one I faced this afternoon.

@Sazerac Yup, I will YUP to NOPE (if that makes sense)

@MLMR Thank you for encouraging me. I will carry on with my quit. I realized though, from my experience with my quit last time, that I had found the quitting process easy but staying quit was becoming increasingly difficult due to other factors. Moreover, I may have become a bit complacent without realizing it. So, I'm spending some time watching some of Joel's videos again, including the one on complacency. I just couldn't help myself, I flew in a fit of rage, became impulsive and ran out to buy the cigarette. Big mistake.

@Sazerac I chose a quit date for tomorrow because I already had that one cigarette today afternoon. While I have not had a cigarette after and will not have either, I have to set the quit date for tomorrow since I already had one today, just to make the quit date more accurate. I'm doing OK as far as withdrawal goes (I am not experiencing withdrawal so far). That cigarette didn't even give me the kind of kick it used to, just left a bad taste in my mouth, with only 2 minutes of relief, which I could've as well got if I had just tried to calm myself down (I was in a fit of rage at the time). So, the cigarette was pointless.

Should have watched this before I blew my quit today afternoon. I had forgotten I had seen it before during the early days of my first quit. Should have just gone through Joel's channel again. Should not have gotten impulsive and gone for a cigarette. I'm going to have another go at my quit. I haven't had a smoke after today afternoon and I'm not going to either. Set a quit date for tomorrow.

Congratulations on a 5 month quit @Sammy!!!

Congratulations on a 11 month quit @Parsley!!!

@MichelleDoesntSmokeAnymore Try writing it on you hand, every time you look at your hand in anticipation for a smoke, what you've written may help you back away from smoking. Just a suggestion...

Nope

@notsmokinjo Thank you for the replies. Mental health medication is terrible, 10 years on them, and I hate it. They come with their own side effects and can play havoc with physical well being. I have a problem with insomnia and disturbed sleep wake cycles, the latter has been sorted out thankfully. Insomnia, not so much. As far as my mom goes, to be fair, sometimes she does tell me don't smoke (when I'm upset), at other times she tells me I have a sick mind and demeans me. That's how she plays with my head, she doesn't realize it which is all the more annoying. I've told her I'm her son and to treat me like that, I've gone as far as being extremely blunt and saying I'm not her b***h. Smoking isn't the only thing she picks on, its several things on a day to day basis and this has been going on for several years, always asking questions indirectly, speaking for me and assuming my silence as agreeing with what she said, trying to put words in my mouth, and even manipulating me into thinking I had said something when I didn't and making me look like a crazy person. The worst part is even other members of the family have done this, and friends have too, and so many unknown morons where I come from have as well. I get mad, and she says I have no control over my temper and I need medicine, and has put me on it for 10+ years now. @Doreensfree Thank you for your support @Sazerac Thank you for the video

@Boo Thank you very much, I will keep marching forward

@Sazerac OK, thank you for the clarification...

Thank you @Sazerac but I already think I'm strong enough, and I don't think I need to be any stronger. Its not easy. When I was young (a teenager and even in my early 20s) my mom used to always tell me "You're not strong, you're not strong, you're weak", so while I know you mean well, please don't tell me I need to be stronger. I'm 38 now and still I hear that "Be stronger". How long must I wait till my life becomes better and I live it on my own terms with no hindrance whatsoever and how much stronger am I supposed to be. I'm also on psychiatric medication, all psychiatrists I've across only want to pump my brain with useless medication. I'm trying to cut down on psychiatric medication as well. I do not even trust my psychiatrists. I'm mentally tired. I've tried so many times to live life on my own terms and on so many occasions to improve my life, it sucks not having any income from the past 2 and a half+ years as well. Although, it has been difficult with so much going on, to accurately define for myself what my terms of my life should be. I have however, reached a list of my terms. But yes, thank you for that link. Its helpful.

Thank you @jillar, thank you very much