del

I had quit for over a month but today I’ve already had 2 cigarettes and it’s only 1pm. And I had two the other day. I feel so stressed and have no coping strategies and I just have 0 support from anyone in my life.... and I NEED support. I feel like I’m trying to give up heroin or another drug that is on that level... It’s like I can’t find happiness anywhere unless I’ve had a cigarette. For the last month I feel like I’ve just traded cigs for food and have gotten so fat and this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and just snapped... went outside and rolled a smoke. Now my throat hurts and I feel pretty rubbish about myself but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO at this point. Every time I get even the slightest bit upset or emotional my family start yelling at me!! I’m not allowed to feel emotions so I have to numb them somehow. It’s all so rubbish.

Been smoke free for 5 weeks and the cravings are still driving me crazy... I gave in today. I had 2 cigs and they tasted horrible but they did soothe the goddamn itch that I’ve been struggling with for weeks. This is the first time I’ve smoked since my quit date. I’m so tired of distracting myself and I’m all out of willpower. I don’t want to relapse although that would be so easy at this point. Are these cravings ever going to go away? And when do I get my energy back? All I want to do is sleep lately..... I’m getting fat and no one even cares about or supports me quitting. Feels like I’ve taken my only coping strategy away from myself and now I’m just depressed and socially anxious.