MLMR

And you know what, maybe I didnt even mention the biggest change: I DO stuff! Like getting up early to take walks, going to movies, taking my mom to places, visiting friends more than I used to, facing sh*t instead of hiding ... somehow life isnt passing me by anymore.

Thanks Jill, but I should actually thank YOU and the others, for the neverending support you provide. The support and the storytelling here makes this such a wonderful and valuable place.

If it wasnt for quitting smoking, I wouldnt have been... • gradually, over the past year, deep cleaning my house to the point where I feel at home and at ease again • succesfully negotiating my job position and salary • taking up yoga classes (and even liking them) • saving money for a piano ánd being able to deal with some unexpected financial surprises • picking up writing again • losing 22 lbs • re-doing my bedroom And on a more subtle, but very meaningful level: • accepting and adjusting to some major changes in my personal life • coming to a new understanding with anxiety • learning to say 'I need some time. Let me get back at that'. • learning to be less (self)judgemental • slowly gaining back some concentration, which I use to read. Thats major, after years of depression and fighting for my sanity. The other day I ran into someone I havent talked to in a long time. She said these unforgettable words: 'its like you are more at peace now, not being haunted by some invisible raging inner critic'. And thats exactly how it is! At the time it all seemed to go sooo veeeeerryyyyy sloooow. I nearly lost patience and kept complaining about the time it took for the patterns to, well, die. I clearly remember my desperation at smokey thoughts: "does this ever stop?!". And now I am almost three months into my second year and Im able to look back at that time, with nothing less than satisfaction and an insane amount of gratitude. To the hero strugglers, keep going. You will feel better at some point, you will get there. Every day done and dusted is another promis for change. Thoughts about smoking will diminish, unrest will settle and you will find ways to give different meaning to whatever personal issues this addiction forces you to work with. It is doable and more than worth it, for me as well as for you!

'It is well-known that smoking is much more common amongst people with mental illness – especially depression and schizophrenia. However, most studies that have looked at this association have not been able to disentangle whether this is a cause-and-effect relationship, and if so in which direction. Does mental illness increase the likelihood of smoking, or is smoking itself a risk factor for mental illness?' http://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2019/november/smoking.html

Birch, I admire you for pulling through, well done. Tell yourself that whatever you experience right now, is a part of readjusting. Its ok to feel like that, even though its super crappy. It wont kill you - smoking eventually will. The crying will go away, the depression will diminish. It may take time though. Heck, at more than 13 months Im still in that proces! But not once did I regret quitting .. and its all worth it. You know yourself best, trust in that you will take action when you need it (like seeing a doc, meds etc). Hang in!

Thanks a lot, to all. I've been recovering from cocktails, finally back at my two feet... when will the cleaning company arive? The Lido is a mess! Its been a exciting year, (still amazing, one whole year went by...) and its great to be here now. At times I wondered, will it ever get easier? Yes, ofcourse, I know now. Life will happen, thats for sure. But its just so much better with more oxygen, self respect and calmth. I love this and wont lose it. Thanks, thanks and thanks. X

...Got to be kidding me... have to bring my own then... cant trust these party people...

^^Euro friendly explicit language version^^ Ohhh, I just cant wait any longer! 'I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies...'

Well well well, look at that. @Sazerac love your cocktail Euro Trash Tour!

Wow... this! Stroopwafels – the gems of the Netherlands The company Van Meer’s has created a Stroopwafel liqueur, which imitates the taste of our favourite Dutch snack, but with 14.7% alcohol added. With tastes such as cinnamon, caramel and slight nutty notes, this makes it the drink of gods. It’s already won a gold medal at a World Spirits competition, so we know it’s going to be lekker. https://dutchreview.com/culture/food/if-you-thought-eating-stroopwafels-was-good-well-you-can-drink-them-now-too/

I cant wait!! I'll bring a million stroopwafels! Sooo excited!

Yeah!! I have only one request... can we do this dance together please? (AFTER the drinks ofcourse )

Hey Christa, congrats on one year!! Geat job and good to hear from you! How are you doing these days, this far in your quit ?

Congrats on your amazing six years, Doreen! Thanks for everything, laughs, support, telling truths about what smoking did to you and your man. Your story is the story of many.. and you have the heart to tell. Here's to healthy walking!

You are back!

True - i found it (a cockatiel) on the road, more dead than alive. I named him Carl, but she turned out a Caroline. TNP had a taste of breast milk at some point in their (adult!) life.

Linda, Huge Congratulations to you, for reaching your first year. I am happy that I got to know you and were able to follow your journey. Thanks for being open about it, thanks for sharing your experiences, both the good ánd less fortunate ones. Ive seen you cary them with your chin up. I had really whished we could grab that coffee one day and talk about the things we have in common. I learned so much from you, do you realise? I hope you throw a really big celebration party, because you bloody well deserve it, dear Linda! You quit smoking for good! Look at this tree, glowing all year 'round, no season to be skipped. You did them all, hero!

Got a nice Karuizawa whisky ship, in case the SS Quit Train fails us. Should fit our lovely quit-birthday girl!

Glad you feel so much better Diane. Mention and celebrated the positives as often as possible, it wil help you build a solid quit :).

Congrats Parsley Great to hear from you!

Congrats on 2 weeks, Diane.

@hellkatbaby, sorry to hear this. What a great attitude you have and what a kick-ass post. I whish you lots of good things on your way through this.

@Ankush well done. I agree with Doreen, it takes guts and strength to get back up. You inspire me by doing that. You will get there, I am sure of that!

How are you doing @Ankush?