MLMR

Nice article, I read it some months ago when I was preparing. For me, it's about finding balance. I have to stay alert for drastic mood changes on one side, cause I know very well where they can get me. On the other hand, I try to realise that this proces takes time and also that to blame quitting for every bad mood/state just isn't right. Regardless of quitting, life continues. And life just happens to give me ups and downs and they might have been far worse if I would have been smoking. I am also starting to realise the importance of the 'it's always there for me' factor. Obviously I've learn to grow comfort in the idea of cigarettes being 'here for me'. Though it's only two weeks, I am already a bit embarrased to look at it that way. So many things are here for me... not many of them 'always' and that's ofcourse where the temptation comes in, the temptation to look at cigarettes as if they were comfy, warm, friendly, non-judgemental and above all, ever available. etc. My friends, partner and family are here for me, but not always. So I will have to learn to ask for support in different ways. And even then, if they somehow are uncapable of being there at that moment, I'll have to learn that me reaching out means taking care of myself. My house is here for me, but it doesn't have arms and legs to clean itself, so I'll have to be more concious these days about making it a place where I feel at home and where I feel loved. Literally, the floor is here for me, the earth is there to carry me. Etc. How I used to hate to be 'thankful on purpose', as a way of therapeutic brainwashing, ha. But more and more I start seeing the beauty in it, even when I don't feel like it yet. Fake it until you make it. Because I do have a lot to be thankful for and when the junky thoughts creep upon me, I want to be able to feel that, to use that so I can disarm the addiction and leave it for what it is: an irreversible, sleeping brainthing that, when left alone, is harmless, faceless and has no identity. Unlike myself!

Hello people, Just wanted to tell you that I am alright. Glad that I asked for help, it took me a while to do so honestly. To all lurkers: it does really help! Please post here when you are in need. Thank goodness a wonderfull team of Quit train Guards came to my aid. So grateful for that! I feel stronger after what happened yesterday, I'm not sure how to describe this in english but it feels like I re-married my descision to quit....? I uhm, renewed my vows or something? I'm sure you get the point. My quit grows stronger every day, going through these phases and coming out a bit messy and tired, but unharmed.... so important. Ok, enough for now, let's close this thread, no lingering and keep on truckin'!

Worst part is over, my breathing back to normal and able to guide myself in that. Still a bit in shock, what a huge primitive experience this was. Relieved that I used what was left of my senses and contacted you guys here. I think I'll hit my bed soon, my brain and heart appear like they've been running marathons. What a theater. Broadway ought to be jealous

Conciously breathing adds to the panic right now. I sometimes have that, I always try to prevent getting in that state. Writing helps though. Distraction and less sense of doing this alone.

Still here. Won't smoke. Thanks so much for being here and answering all so massively and quick.

Reading here, dont really know what to say. Thanks a lot for all of your answers. I'll stay at home and try to ride it out. Not sure how chat works by the way.

I would really like your support right now. For reasons too delicate to write down here, I'm pretty upset. I don't want to smoke, but the urge is huge. I am totally not connected this moment, not to my reasons or anything concerned quitting actually. I have to do it on sheer willpower right now. I vowed to do it the loving way this time, so therefor reaching out. ?

Kikkererwten

D