MLMR

A big fat NOPE. NOOOO! NOPERDENOPE!!

@c9jane29 you are right, it's a pitfall to combine these emotions and junkie thinking. Tomorrow... I'll be diving into that. Now I want to sleep. Thanks all of you again. You are an amazing bunch of quit train guards.

Definitely not my intention. Good to know. Hopefully I just made a new brain path connection, like in that video. And if so, I'll be making signposts as well, that way!! Over there it's good!

The worst is over now, thanks to you guys. It seems to be all about connection. So glad there's people here from different time zones. Thanks for this little but big conversation.

I do, but only occasionally. They make me moody, the day afterwards. And then there's a bigger chance on having to go through it again. I tend to stay away from the meds as much as possible, I'm ok with what it's like now, most of the time. It has not worsened since quitting. But going through and not smoking, especially afterwards, seems to be a lingering trigger. Far more than other triggers.

I put on bird sounds. A music video of 11 hours, might hope for the love of some godly being that I'm over it by then.

@jillar i will put some music on. @Sazerac Pancakes.

Thanks :/

Ahhw, in the middle of some sort of panic. It's not the attacks I'm used to. It doesnt proceed. I keep being nautious, keep having this unheimisch feeling, something is not right. It's night over here. These are the times after which I am so used to smoking a cigaret and then go back to bed again. I want to find consolation in something. I need to ride this out, just second by second and then minute after minute. The past days have been challenging, quit-wise. I am committed and convinced and apparantly still experiencing different phases. There's learning involved, I can do that. Willpower, have lots of it. But these moments where I am unarmed, not super steady, they scare me. What if in these moments seeds of relapse are planted? I hope by writing this, I'll be able to prevent that. And just don't want to be doing it alone right now.

Once 3 yrs, 9 months, once nearly 6 months, once about a month and various times between 1 day and few weeks. The 3 year period was my first quit ever. After that, I've always felt that I could not 'beat' myself, as if it's about competition and winning. I've also had the experience that knowledge, grasping how it works, somehow seems to fail on second attempts and at times it made me truly miserable. Mindset, beliefs, obviously played a bigger role back than. I know Ive never ever been content with smoking, I hated it and that thought alone made me smoke twice as much. I won't be unique in that... I have good faith though that I'll be able to leave this all behind me. There's just to much truth and too many stories available, too much knowledge to be ignored, it's too 2018 to be still smoking. So.. steady as I go!

Ohhh this is a great thread! First three days of quitting, Fulltime Fog. Not making sense whatsoever, almost felt drugged. I slept like a maniac, which contributed great deal to The Fog. After that, insomnia hit. Which... ofcourse... contributed to The Fog ?. Now Im back to normal sleeping patterns, but still dwelling in mysty lands. I try to be comfortable with it and not expect to much of myself (except for NOT lighting up ofcourse). I think I kinda suck at my job right now, but whatever. Things will be better and I'll Shine like never before! ?

Hi Sslip, Congrats! I'm hanging around here only for a short period of time yet, but felt at home almost immediately. Your friendly comments and support have meant a lot so far, thanks! Well done on your eight months, I will definitely follow you there. Can you tell me about the view?

Hi Linda, you are such a badass for keeping that quit. I can imagine it's hard when you have that many worries. But please, make yourself a priority! It must feel unnatural to do when taking care for your parents, even when there's such a history as with you and them. But there's only one of you. Quit smoking meant making a choice for yourself. I think part of the proces is to remake that choice, over and over again. You are the centre here, not your parents or anyone else!! Whishing you lots of selfcare and courage, hope you will sleep well and tomorrow will be better for you.

I've been on Melatonine 5 mg (I take two capsules around 9pm) for about half a year now. It does miraculous things for my sleep. Opposite to previous quits, this time the sleepless nights only lasted for, say, 10 days.. since I take this, my ('ordinairy', not caused by quitting) moodswings/depression seem somewhat stabilized. It's hard to say what causes what, but one thing is for sure, I am infinitely happy about sleeping well. ?