MLMR

Nope

Nope

Saving it for a piano! ??

Nope. No more smokey illusions.

... my little man? You mean that robot? Cool you noticed. I started a new series, mist in the forrest ?. But then I had a few 'who am I kidding with this' days and just kept it at nope.. might just start with a new theme tomorrow ?

Nope

Whether or not there exists a thing like No Man's Land.. I am definitely in it. This thread got me thinking. And.... well, a bit embarassed to ask but... ?... i thought... maybe I need a quit buddy who I can reach outside this forum, like via whatsapp. Just to silently scream once in a while, or to reach out when I need to. Ofcourse I'd be there to return the favour. Please PM me if you are interested in exchanging quit sitter services.

Nope

Better safe than sorry - NOPE

Nope

Wobbly. Trying to avoid arguing with myself about smoking and just keeping it at a big fat nope.

Taking up the pogo stick is an excellent idea. ? You and others help a great deal and I think thats great.. ? Gotta do this part myself. The not-smoking-part I mean. Im sure there will come a time when it gets easier, maybe that's tomorrow or next week. I know where to find you amigo, thanks again for the talk-offer!

I know you are right Jo. You must be, like other people who tell me it gets better. Heck, I've been there myself for three years. It annoys the crap out of me that it's like this now and I know that being irritated about doesn't make it better at all, it probably does the contrary. I don't want to give up, I want to continue and quit this sh*tty addiction once and for all. I don't want no more stinking no more junking no more coughing no more grey skin no more risk for all sorts of diseases no more shame no more self loathing. You are also darn right, I know that. No one ever came back from relapsing saying how nice it was. Thanks for you answer Reci. Really appreciate the time you and others take, also in the diary section. I don't always answer but I read everything more than once and try to indulge and really get what you guys say. Gotta go forward and accept this stage as well, just as I did with the other stages. Apparantly it just is like this right now. Nope and move on -> continue that for as long as necessary. Thanks Tammy for your support. I like how you see it as evolution. You are right, I'm fighting for it, but it's costing me a lot of energy. I really think now is the time to take it easy .. uhm and just float a long?!?! But it's not like that and I can jump up and down, it feels out of my hands! And I want to go on with my life ffs! But like many people justly say, it is IN my hands. As long as I... Just. Dont. Smoke. Sigh. And now back to work. Imagining telling you guys I smoked makes me cringe. If I can't reach for my own motivation maybe thát should be it for the time being. I'd be mortified

Nope.

Thanks @notsmokinjo. Seriously doubt how long I can/want to keep on doing this ?. I know I am in a dangerous place thinking that. Must again focus on JUST IN DAY AT A TIME. And maybe even hours.

Ok, you know what... just read my own SOS answer and Id be an ass for lighting up. I do care, I don't smoke and yes I am unable to reach reasons and whatever. Nevermind this post. Grrrrrrr.

It's almost 4:30 am and I've been imagining myself driving to the 24h gas station over 40 times. I don't want to reach that point where I no longer care and think, ahh to hell with it. How can my initial reasons and perseverance be so far away all of a sudden? Can't seem to quit the bloody romancing, though somewhere in the back of my mind I know it's rubbish. I did everything in my power the first two months and now I can't get back at that? What kind of stupid circle is this? 75 days in, wouldnt want to throw that away right? Ohhhh man crazy stuff!!!

Welcome @Foe and thanks for introducing yourself Take a good look around. There are many usefull threads all over the board. Take care these coming days, body's working hard to get rid of all the toxins. And if you feel like it, please let us know how youre doing!

Nope. Even though I see 'm marching Disney like through my room. Nope. Breath in breath out.

Nope

Nope

Tammy, listen. I'm usualy not one for the guilt game, but ill make an exception. The thing is, I look up to you. I follow Linda and then YOU, in your well carved footsteps. You can't let me down, so smoking would not be an option anyway. Ha! No seriously. I hope you will be in a better brighter place real soon. The only way is NOPE. But, make your nope with a tea, or hot honey water. Take care of yourself ok?

Dear Tammy, please don't. X